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Old 09-02-2008, 04:52 PM   #1
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Stubborn boyfriend! Is there a solution here?

Stubborn boyfriend! Is there a solution here?

My boyfriend is super nice and sweet 90% of the time. There are a few things that get him really frustrated, such as poor service in a restaurant or store. He's a computer guy - so very analytical and mathematical. We had a disagreement this weekend about clothing size for a baby. He wanted to get my nephew (who's turning 1) a t-shirt made for a 12 month old. I told him my nephew is big for his age so we should get him the 18 month old size. My boyfriend (for some random reason) got really frsutrated as we were going back and forth and then all of a sudden walks out of the store. HUH?!

I called him on his cell and he didn't pick up. I left a nice message asking where he went. This was at 3pm. He NEVER called me back. Who leaves someone in a store?! It was only a few blocks from home so it wasn't like I was stranded but still. Who does that?! (we live together)

I went to my cousin's place and didn't come home at all that day because I was so angry. He never called to see where I was or if I was ok. WHO DOES THIS?!

I went home the next day and was very quiet. As was he. I told him I would never treat him the way he treated me yesterday. He hugged me and said I love you but never apologized or even acknowledged what he did. I'm still in shock that he would walk out without a word because we disagreed on baby clothes for a child he's never even met.

 
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Old 09-02-2008, 05:55 PM   #2
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Re: Stubborn boyfriend! Is there a solution here?

It sounds like his problem is more than just being stubborn. It sounds like he was affronted by your disagreeing with him and not telling him he was right. The whole situation does sound totally ridiculous - it's your nephew, why would he even care? It seems like he needs to be "right" - do you see examples of this in other aspects of your relationship?

And just leaving you at the store like that - I'm tempted to go as far as saying that is abusive. Even if it was not far from your home, still...the fact that he could just leave you behind like that, totally unconcerned...that's not good. No way should you put up with that.
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Old 09-03-2008, 06:39 AM   #3
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Re: Stubborn boyfriend! Is there a solution here?

Well, I believe that people tell you who they are all the time, and you can't really change them. All you can do is support them when they choose to change, and it doesn't look like he's going to make that choice. So now you have a choice. Continue to live with him as he is and just accept that this is how he is and learn to deal with it, or move on and find someone who is better at handling stress and being disagreed with.

 
Old 09-03-2008, 06:44 AM   #4
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Re: Stubborn boyfriend! Is there a solution here?

he's a control freak and manipulative

he didn't get his way so in order to maintain control over the situation, he left......he's in control, that way, right?

wake up and get rid of this guy......this is way more than stubborn.....

 
Old 09-03-2008, 07:01 AM   #5
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Re: Stubborn boyfriend! Is there a solution here?

Think twice before you continue the relationship. It sounds like your boyfriend is "only" being stubborn, but reading between the lines, it sounds more than that. He sounds controlling and immature to me. Reevaluate your relationship before you commit further.
To get so upset over something like baby clothing sounds like a cover up for a bigger problem on his part.

 
Old 09-03-2008, 07:57 AM   #6
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Re: Stubborn boyfriend! Is there a solution here?

thanks everyone for your opinions. I'm at a complete loss.

 
Old 09-03-2008, 08:14 AM   #7
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Re: Stubborn boyfriend! Is there a solution here?

Quote:
Originally Posted by pa43 View Post
thanks everyone for your opinions. I'm at a complete loss.
why are you at a loss? you've gotten basically the same opinions/advice......

this one should be easy......

 
Old 09-03-2008, 08:38 AM   #8
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Re: Stubborn boyfriend! Is there a solution here?

My boyfriend and I have been in full on screaming matches in the car. Its gotten so bad that I've actually gotten out and attempted to walk the 17 miles home Never once has he left my side before I had time to cool down and realize that we were both being stupid. If he had ever driven/walked away it would have been over between us.

I think what you have to do is look at the big picture. How long have the two of you been together? Is this an isolated incident? Where did he go? Did he spend that night at home? Was this really over the size of clothing or had things just boiled up to that point?

 
Old 09-03-2008, 09:08 AM   #9
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Re: Stubborn boyfriend! Is there a solution here?

Pa, he's not stubborn, he's just a jerk. Any guy who would leave you at a store and force you to walk home, and then not even check up on you to see if you're ok and then not even apologize.... doing ONE of those things is bad enough, but doing ALL of those things is just unforgiveable and inexcuseable. You don't need to put up with this. And you have a choice to make. You shouldn't be at a loss at this point, your answer should be clear.

 
Old 09-03-2008, 03:38 PM   #10
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Re: Stubborn boyfriend! Is there a solution here?

I agree, he's not stubborn. He's a manipulative and controlling jerk. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

You need to seriously re-evalulate your relationship with this guy. I'm guessing this isn't the first time he's been "stubborn" with you. Take a look at him objectively. This is who he is and he won't change. Can you handle being with this man? The one who left you at a store and didn't even call you to see if you were okay? Is that the guy you want to spend your life with? Because that is the guy you will be getting!

 
Old 09-03-2008, 05:37 PM   #11
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Re: Stubborn boyfriend! Is there a solution here?

I've already posted to you that you need to take a serious look at the man you are dating. I just want to comment on that you say he is sweet 90% of the time. Believe me, that's not enough. The remaining 10% can, and most likely will if you stay with him, seriously affect your life in a negative way. Please read all the answers you've received here and think about if you want to spend your life with somebody who treats you as your boyfriend treats you. And, once you are married, it doesn't get better, usually it gets worse.

 
Old 09-03-2008, 05:49 PM   #12
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Re: Stubborn boyfriend! Is there a solution here?

Hey pa43. I guess I don't see this situation as horrible as everyone else. So he wanted to be right and had a short fuse that day? Yes, it was wrong of him to just leave you at the store, because that's pretty ridiculous to get THAT upset about the issue and just leave you.

Has he ever done something like that? How long have you two been together? I wouldn't just right away dump him because of this unless he's done something similar previously...

Just tell him: how you felt about what he did, that he should never do that again, that he needs to learn to control his temper better, and that he needs to realize that sometimes you'll be right and he'll be wrong (and to get over that).

Last edited by t0ri111; 09-03-2008 at 05:51 PM.

 
Old 09-03-2008, 05:57 PM   #13
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Re: Stubborn boyfriend! Is there a solution here?

Pa, if this is the same guy you've posted about in the past, then I stand by what I said and by what everyone else has already told you. He's got to GO. This is it. Stop putting up with his lame behavior.

 
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