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Old 09-03-2008, 11:20 PM   #1
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Spending time together

Does the feeling of wanting to spend most, if not all, of one's free time with their significant other fade some with time?

 
Old 09-04-2008, 05:55 AM   #2
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Re: Spending time together

Quote:
Originally Posted by t0ri111 View Post
Does the feeling of wanting to spend most, if not all, of one's free time with their significant other fade some with time?
Yes, it does, in most cases. Otherwise it might become an obsession. It is natural for it to happen after trust has been built up. This is also true for a friendship. Indeed, this is very healthy for any relationship. People need a certain dose of freedom and privacy. Whether you like it or not, most couples will adopt a kind of routine after some time. Routine means being together and doing things together in regular slots of time. This gives you a sense of safety. However, couples should not rely only on routine. Now and then they must find a way of breaking the routine and doing different, unexpected things, so they won't operate in a "inertia" mode and do only what they are expected to do. Also, quantity doesn't always stand for quality. Even if you spend less time with your beloved ones, you can have a better time with them.

 
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Old 09-04-2008, 07:53 AM   #3
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Re: Spending time together

yes....once they start getting on your nerves......
usually the stuff you find so endearing in the beginning is the stuff you end up not being able to stand later....

 
Old 09-04-2008, 08:09 AM   #4
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Re: Spending time together

LOL! I agree with Rose! All those little cute things can really get on your nerves once the "newness" wears off. It's also true that once you become more secure in the relationship that you tend to want a "life" outside of it again where when you first started NOTHING was more important than spending time with your "friend". I think this is normal for most everyone.

Mileena

 
Old 09-04-2008, 08:39 AM   #5
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Re: Spending time together

Yes, you definitely start to enjoy some "alone time" after a while. My boyfriend and I went through that whole wanting to be together all the time phase for quite a while. Now, we still spend a lot of time together (we live together) and we are "best friends", but we also enjoy our time alone or with other people. Sometimes you just need a break from one person and enjoy the company of others. I noticed when my boyfriend and I were spending TOO much time together, it wasn't good. He is still my favorite person to spend time with of course, but I do welcome some alone time now.

 
Old 09-04-2008, 09:08 AM   #6
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Re: Spending time together

This is completely normal and healthy. Once the "honeymoon" phase is over you want to start feeling like an individual again. Some people don't understand this need, and that's their right. But for me, as much as I love my husband I don't need to be with him 24/7. As a matter of fact I have a night out with the girls the end of the month (where I am actually staying out!) and a weekend away with the girls before Thanksgiving. Having this "me time" once in a while helps me to enjoy my husband more.

 
Old 09-04-2008, 09:19 AM   #7
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Re: Spending time together

Time spent apart is vital if a relationship is to be successful.
You need to remain an individual as well as a partner in the relationship and this will only come about if you spend time alone and it gives you the chance to appreciate and miss your partner.

 
Old 09-04-2008, 12:32 PM   #8
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Re: Spending time together

Yes, it definitely does. While the relationship is new, you are going to want to spend as much time together as possible, but as you grow into eachother more, you will yearn for your own space again. I 100% agree with bluesky - you've got to have your own identity in order to have a healthy relationship.

 
Old 09-04-2008, 06:52 PM   #9
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Re: Spending time together

Yes it does fade. When you first start dating someone your brain starts to produce higher-than-normal levels of dopamine, phenylethylamine and oxytocin. These levels are what drive the giddiness in the early stages of a relationship – they enhance libido and the desire to cuddle among other things.

The combination of these chemicals can make you feel invincible and on top of the world. The sad fact is that these feel-good chemicals will dissipate and not always equally or at the same time for each partner. That is, one partner may still be feeling the intoxication of the early stages much longer than the other. Attachment at this point is relative and can be tricky.

The best way to combat this is to continue your healthy relationships with outside friends and family. If you become too insular, it can eventually hurt your relationship. I know, I've been there

 
Old 09-04-2008, 10:00 PM   #10
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Re: Spending time together

deleted for personal reasons.

Last edited by t0ri111; 04-16-2009 at 05:59 PM.

 
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