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Old 09-05-2008, 12:26 PM   #1
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What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

Thank you G'woman for your kibd kind words. I hope you find what you need as well.

I hve made so many friends on this board it is incredible. I hope we all live and learn.

I want all those romantic little things that most women want..>I am straving for it...and I don't get it with him. I find that although he is attractive, I don't find him attractive anymore. I would never cheat...hwoever, I could see how someone could be pushed to cheat to go and find what they need elsewhere.....

In any event, my very very first date.....he jokingly said...f you...p_ss off. Jokingly. I thought...this is odd.

He is very sarcastic...but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I went to get up and walk out he was laughing, he thought it was funny...I was younger and should have know....

 
Old 09-05-2008, 12:43 PM   #2
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Re: What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

Red flag hey!
So, what made you stay after all on that first date?

 
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Old 09-05-2008, 12:55 PM   #3
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Re: What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

I thought it was ajoke. I always give someone the benefit of the doubt. what an idiot I am.

He says he is the idiot for still talking to me now.

Nice eh?

 
Old 09-05-2008, 01:04 PM   #4
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Re: What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

Real nice, just think how nice it will be to be free of him.

 
Old 09-05-2008, 01:12 PM   #5
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Re: What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

It is hard, no matter what. I have this overly sensitive side to me.......and it hurts. he told me 2 weeks ago that I need to grow thicker skin.

WHat???????????????????

 
Old 09-05-2008, 01:22 PM   #6
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Re: What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

So you're a sensitive woman, nothing wrong with that. You need a guy that will treat you right and respect your sensitivities. Your guy doesn't and he needs someone who does have thicker skin so that his abrasiveness isn't such a problem. You two have history but it's best left as that, in the past.

 
Old 09-05-2008, 01:25 PM   #7
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Re: What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

Quote:
Originally Posted by dma11663 View Post
I thought it was ajoke. I always give someone the benefit of the doubt. what an idiot I am.

He says he is the idiot for still talking to me now.

Nice eh?
So if he thinks he's an idiot for talking to you, and you hate the fact that you are still talking to him, then.....WHY are you talking???

Sweetie, please, believe me, a year or two down the road you will be SOOO sorry you wasted so much time, energy and emotion on this guy. Really, you've got two choices here. Continue to complain and cry about how badly he treats you while you sit there and take it, or simply say, "I don't think we should see each other anymore" and walk away.

 
Old 09-05-2008, 01:29 PM   #8
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Re: What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

I know but do you understand how this is eating at me and I can't say anything for another week? it is limbo...............limbo stinks. I am complainig and I'm so sorry.

 
Old 09-05-2008, 01:32 PM   #9
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Re: What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

Why can't you say anything? Can't you call him and leave a message that you need to talk to him when he gets back, and that you don't want to talk to him before that? Especially since you admitted that you are afraid of him. Wouldn't it be better to avoid a confrontation? And then you could have some peace of mind?

 
Old 09-05-2008, 01:41 PM   #10
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Re: What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

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I know but do you understand how this is eating at me and I can't say anything for another week? it is limbo...............limbo stinks. I am complainig and I'm so sorry.
No, it's totally ok to vent. I understand you feel kind of in limbo because you haven't had the conversation with him yet. But it sort of sounds to me like you haven't made the decision in your own mind quite yet, and that's where the danger lies. You don't have to tell him in order for you to decide that you're done and that it's over and that he had no right treating you that way and that you won't take it anymore. Even though you can't actually TELL him for another week, you can still pack it up in your mind and be done with it. The trick is to get to a point where you aren't asking questions like "what kind of person does that? Who says that? Why would he, why does he.... etc etc etc." Those questions have no answer that will satisfy you or make any sense out of it all anyway. So work toward getting to a mental place where you no longer feel the need to ask these questions. It's just who he's choosing to be, and you cant change it, and it's not working for you and you want, need and deserve better, and that's all you need to know.

 
Old 09-05-2008, 01:59 PM   #11
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Re: What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

Redneon...I can't do that. No, I just can't. I will let it go for another week. Why leave a message like that and let it sit for a week on the both of us. As for me packing it up, it is hard, very hard. I keep seeing him in my mind....and it hurts no matter what he is a person.

 
Old 09-05-2008, 02:06 PM   #12
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Re: What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

Off for the weekend. Wish me luck. Kisses and Hugs to you all.

Prayers for me ok?

 
Old 09-05-2008, 02:25 PM   #13
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Re: What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

Good luck dma, have a great weekend!

 
Old 09-08-2008, 09:29 AM   #14
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Re: What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

Quote:
Originally Posted by dma11663 View Post
Thank you G'woman for your kibd kind words. I hope you find what you need as well.

I hve made so many friends on this board it is incredible. I hope we all live and learn.

I want all those romantic little things that most women want..>I am straving for it...and I don't get it with him. I find that although he is attractive, I don't find him attractive anymore. I would never cheat...hwoever, I could see how someone could be pushed to cheat to go and find what they need elsewhere.....

In any event, my very very first date.....he jokingly said...f you...p_ss off. Jokingly. I thought...this is odd.

He is very sarcastic...but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I went to get up and walk out he was laughing, he thought it was funny...I was younger and should have know....
I have never heard anything like that on a first date or any date for that matter. I have heard begging......

You will never get it with him. I think you have heightened emotions around this guy because he is bad, not for any good reason. Having those types of emotions sometimes makes us want to stay, because it is something and not empty, we just may not realize what all is going on. These posts have definitely given you insight, you know what is healthy and what you want. I continue to desire the best and pray for it, I am not going to give up. I just don't know if it will ever happen for me, but I will hang on to hope.

I am glad that you are not tipping your hat, so-to-speak and letting him know something is up. That can create a horrible gut feeling for you and he would probe and there you are standing, needing to reply and not wanting to. Hang on til he gets back and I hope you go somewhere public, like a restaurant, not secluded but where you can have your privacy with people around. Something safe, especially he wont want to get loud, he will be forced to behave himself, somewhat, he can still quietly verbally abuse you. If that happens, you walk away. He has no right to you. Anytime anyone gets verbally abusive with you, walk away. It is not your fault and they need to learn and grow up. You get to have and keep boundaries, just stick to it. I started doing this a little over a year ago with my husband. If it gets heated, too loud or abusive, I say I am done for the moment and walk away. I am an adult and I will stand my ground. It works both ways, I can yell too, and now he uses it on me! I am so glad, it calms me down and I can focus on what really matters and I know no one is alone in this. Take care, know I am thinking about you.....did you have a good weekend? Bye for now....G

 
Old 09-08-2008, 09:34 AM   #15
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Re: What would you think if someone told you ('continued)

Quote:
Originally Posted by dma11663 View Post
Redneon...I can't do that. No, I just can't. I will let it go for another week. Why leave a message like that and let it sit for a week on the both of us. As for me packing it up, it is hard, very hard. I keep seeing him in my mind....and it hurts no matter what he is a person.

dma let it go for as long as you want, but make sure you KNOW in your head that your decision is made......don't expect anything to change from talking to him. And so what if he's a person.....that doesn't mean diddly......
Charles Manson is a person, Adolf Hitler is a person.......simply being a person is not enough of a reason to concern yourself.

 
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