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Old 09-10-2008, 02:36 PM   #1
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Dang12 HB User
Question Shes Moving................What Should I do?

Im sure alot of you have read my various posts recently about an issue I have been having with this girl. We had fooled around alot and were getting along great. She really is my dream girl, she meets or exceeds all of my requirements and is pretty much perfect in my eyes. After a while though she started to ignore me a little and I got less attention over time. However, the fall semester started so I assumed is was due to her much heavier schedule and that alot of her friends came into town from leaving for the summer. The last few weeks I have been trying to talk to her about starting a relationship in the future. We both graduate in december and she had talked about a possiblity of moving but it was never anything specific, she had told me that she was probably staying in this area to pursue a graduate degree.

Anyways so today she told me that she was definely moving shortly after graduating. I was shocked because she had always given off the impression that she was not probably going to do that. The very unusual thing is that she is moving to a city that is at the other end of the country, where she has never been before and knows no one there. We basically go to school together in the southeast, I am from the northeast, and she wants to go to a city in the northwest. What really surprises me is that she is going without getting a job and has no intention of going to graduate school. Im sure she could find a job somewhere but I just was a little taken back that someone would move a place that far away without a job and no support just because she likes the looks of the city. Also, she basically doesnt have a relationship with her parents and they give her no support and would not even if she needed it so its all her in terms of supporting herself. Anyways so I realized that she probably started ignoring me a little because she determined that she was moving out of the area and didnt see the point in getting involved in a relationship. I can appreciate that, but she didnt let me in on her intentions until today so I thought she was just ignoring me. She also told me that she might be going with other people but I dont really see how many people could go with her to a new area like that. I think she just said that because she told me she was just looking at one bedrooms and shes not seeing anyone right now so I think she will be going alone.

I met this girl in may and for a very long time before that I had also been thinking about what I am doing after graduation. I had decided I would never stay in this area and also had severe doubts about going back to the northeast because I had lived there most of my life and didnt see any point in moving back there. I had actually talked to my parents many times about this long before I met this girl. Anyways, so I have contemplated talking to her about possibly going with her or a nearby city, I am definetly going to graduate school and can go wherever I want. The trouble is, I had told her that I couldnt do another move to a new part of the country but as I said that she ran into her ride and I didnt get to explain that I couldnt do a move like that without getting accpeted to a school or getting a job.

So this brings up a whole new set of issues. We are friends and we get along well but we havent done that much recently and I am afraid of mentioning that I could look into moving with her, not in the same apartment but move to the same city or someplace nearby. Im afraid she will look at me like I am the weirdest guy she has ever met and just be totally weirded out by that. However, now that I think of it, I probably have nothing to loose because if I she gives me a bad response both of us will be moving away regardless so I wont see her again anyways.

I really do like this girl and I know she also liked me at one time, im not sure at this point if she still does and she stopped showing interest because she knew she was moving or because she stopped liking me. I also want to make it clear that I had been thinking about moving to a new area for about a year now and her saying shes moving and me contemplating going with her is not a new thing for me. Meaning I would probably have moved to a new area regardlesss if I met her or not. Now I will admit that I didnt consider going to that particularly city but have always wanted to visit. However, I had ruled out staying her or moving back home. Basically back in the northeast I just feel like I need to start fresh somewhere and not go back to my old area. I basically havent had the best college experience and she hasnt as well and I guess I still feel I need a little excitement that others have gotten from college.

Another issue here is that I have not had many girlfriends and have never really felt connected to any girl before. She basically is everything I want in a girl and I feel if I didnt at least mention it that I would regret it for the rest of my life. The only issue is that I wont see her again until next week so its alot of time for me to be stressing about this.

Any thoughts?

 
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Old 09-10-2008, 03:07 PM   #2
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Redneon82 HB User
Re: Shes Moving................What Should I do?

Honestly? If I guy I'd spent a little time with in the past, but not recently, and that I hadn't been trying to contact or hang out with told me he wanted to go with me when I moved away...I would think it was a little strange. More than a little, in fact. I think it's been pretty clear that she hasn't felt the same way as you in quite a while. There are really no valid excuses for not spending time with someone if you really want to. I have a very busy schedule but I still make time and plan time to spend with my SO. If it's important to her she'll find the time.

I think she thinks of you as a friend and nothing more. You are hoping you can make a relationship out of it, but I think if you want to try to get one started, telling her you want to move away with her is not the right way to start. You'd need to start now with trying to make plans with her. I'd advise against asking her to move away with her until you've spent a lot of time together and you both want a relationship.

 
Old 09-10-2008, 03:40 PM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2006
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Dang12 HB User
Re: Shes Moving................What Should I do?

Yea I mean I realize that her response will probably not be good. I last hung out with her a few weeks ago and we were at her place for a few hours. We have seen each other at school the last few weeks a get along well. I guess I might just be in denial about the whole thing because I want a relationship. Unfortunately, I think its a little too late for that. I guess I am holding onto the fact that she could be distancing herself from me because she is moving soon. However, I dont know the reason for that. I guess is confusing to me because her behavior could be becuase of multiple things, not all of them being becuase she doesnt like me anymore.

And when I say move away, I dont mean living in the same apartment, I mean the same city. But even then, im obviouosly going because she is going there.

Im sure its not a good idea, and I dont want you guys to think I am weird or anything. I had severe objections to bringing it up with her. I guess I just feel that I should try to talk to her about things soon. She also said she might be going with other people so she might not be going by herself. But I do agree that this will probably end bad for me if I decide to talk to her about it.

I realize that she probably just thinks of me as a friend now. The trouble is though that she would probably not admit to anything so I will never know for sure how she feels about me.

Last edited by Dang12; 09-10-2008 at 04:09 PM.

 
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