It makes me
to hear stories like yours. Some people just do not care about the consequences of their behavior. They leave a trail of emotional victims wherever they go. I believe they will be held accountable for their actions eventually, if not in this life.
Do not take ownership of everything that happened. You did not invite his abuse. No one ever asks for that. Yes, you decided to stay with him, which allowed it to continue and increase the damage but you are not the only person in the world to have done this.
It is easy for people to judge when they have not walked in your shoes. Sometimes it is difficult for people to understand and they become frustrated because they care but do not know what to do in order to "reach" you. Then there are those who measure your life and your choices according to their own standards and guidelines. But let's not forget those who genuinely want to help and we react to them with anger because we'd rather repress it than deal with it.
Because of his own issues, lack of control and lack of human sensitivity, you suffered as a consequence. Because of you making the decisions as only you knew how at the time, you are suffering the consequences. But you have removed yourself from the situation and although you are still paying the price, you are in a better place than where you were. You need to forgive yourself and move on. Who cares what other people think!
You take these feelings with you wherever you go. Moving away,changing your number and not thinking about it does not heal you. There will always be something to remind you of the past. You have to face it head on and accept then let go of what happened.
In order to get rid of the resentment, we have to accept the things we cannot change, have the courage to change the things that we can change, and seek for wisdom to know the difference.
It is hard to let go of the past when the pain that you still feel today is living inside you. You need to process it and get it out or it will continue to eat you up inside. Have you had counseling to help you with this?