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Old 09-12-2008, 06:47 PM   #1
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Join Date: May 2006
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blue34 HB User
Still in the same spot

hey Izzy

thank you for wondering how i am.

I have not texted him yet...it is weird how nervous I feel thinking about it and thinking about the response I would get.

I know he is on another weekend trip right now b/c its every year and usually around the same time. I went with him the past two years. So, it makes me sad to think he went to that one as well and probably told the same guy who is going and who went on that other longer trip why i am not apart of it.

I think i may regret it if i don't text him and i still blame myself for him leaving. I feel it was more fault than his....and i still feel regret for driving away a decent guy. He did not handle this situation well at all but he was still a good person, and a decent boyfriend.

 
Old 09-12-2008, 07:59 PM   #2
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IZZY'SMOM HB User
Re: Still in the same spot

Hi Blue!
Im glad you checked in...I really was hoping youd texted him by now. I say you go for it. You just need to do it or not. Dont be so worried. I know its easier said than done, but I feel [and thats only MY opinion] like you are dreading it because you are afraid of what hes going to say.

I would say: give yourself until say, the day after tomorrow, OR tomorrow and either text him or not. You're living on a merry-go-round. Either get on or get off. Sorry, but I dont know what else to say...Im here to support you, but you really need to make a decision and stick with it. The title of your thread says it ALL! "Still in the SAME spot! Do something to make it different.

What do your friends say? Are they saying the same things we have been saying? Value YOURSELF enough to make this move. You are just in neutral and sitting in one place, and not moving forward or backward. Actually more backward that anything. You arent letting yourself go forward and possibly meeting other ppl and getting on with your life.

I promise you, you will look back on this time and kick yourself for waiting around and not dealing with this sooner. Im in my 40's and i did this with a guy I just "loved" for 2 years, and I had all of the signs, answers, ect from the get go, but yet still thought Id been so horrible and wrong, when in all reality, it hadnt been me at all.

Stop blaming yourself...I honestly think that by allowing yourself to think you were wrong, you are just keeping false hope that he is going to come back alive. Quit thinking it was all you. If he cheated on you or did something absolutely horrible, would you still be wanting him?
I know you are young and this is your first love, say to speak, but dont wait any more. either text him and be prepared or drop it forever. Yes it is black or white, but sometimes thats what needs to happen in this case. this has gone on for way to long, and it only up to you to decide how long you want to continue this situation. I hope i didnt offend you, but you need to decide soon what you are going to do.

Either text him or not. Quit trying to figure out why he hasnt contacted you, ie: trips of of town, ect., and get your answer and deal with it.

Believe in yourself and just do it...You are only hurting yourself, Blue if you continue this situation. Do it...I have faith in you or I would have started a thread asking about you.

Im glad you wrote~
xoxoxox,
IZZY'SMOM

Last edited by IZZY'SMOM; 09-12-2008 at 08:45 PM.

 
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Old 09-13-2008, 10:20 AM   #3
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Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 60
blue34 HB User
Re: Still in the same spot

i dont even know how to describe what i am feeling...i don't want to date anyone else..i just miss him and wish things could be different.

 
Old 09-13-2008, 11:48 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 1,570
IZZY'SMOM HB User
Re: Still in the same spot

Then maybe just hang out with friends, ect. You dont have to date anyone. Just be gentle on yourself and try to hang in there the best you can everyday. I know its easier said than done. I hope you have a good rest of the weekend~
xoxoox,
IZZY'SMOM

 
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