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Old 09-13-2008, 10:48 AM   #1
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End of relationship

what is it with women...grrr
I just got out of a realtionship that hurt me pretty bad but I got over it..last night I went out with this girl..we had a good time togther, we came back to my place had sex and now this moring she wants to move in with me.
I told her no way and told her about my last realtionship.
anyway now she wants to move in with me.
why do I seem to only attract women like this?

 
Old 09-13-2008, 11:24 AM   #2
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Re: End of realtionship.

Chevyman,

what kind of women would you like to attract?

 
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Old 09-13-2008, 12:13 PM   #3
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Re: End of realtionship.

Chevy,

There are all kinds out there. The trick is, is NOT to get into a relationship with them.... it's that simple. If you get involved with her.. then its your choice to allow someone who's got issues into your life. You don't have a wierdo magnet on your head, there are just people out there that have issues... the mistake is seeing these people and letting them get involved in your life. Women meet wacky men all the time... the mistake is made when a person sees ALL THE RED FLAGS and then continues to see this person. It's called "judgement". You already see that this is trouble... I mean, comon... you can see that this woman must have some "stuff" going on.... so Don't get involved with her. Keep dating until you find someone that's normal.

Last edited by cathy1; 09-13-2008 at 12:18 PM.

 
Old 09-13-2008, 01:07 PM   #4
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Re: End of realtionship.

This may sound a little blunt chevyman, and please forgive me if I offend you because that is not my intent, but perhaps you should get to know these women better before jumping into bed with them?

Men and women view sex differently (at least a majority of the time). Men can have sex without attachment. Women, on the other hand, either get attached too quickly because of it or use it as a means to get an attachment. Does that make sense?

I suggest if you want to attract the "right" woman for you get to know her. Go out on a few dates and talk about yourselves and see what you have in common. After a few dates then decide if you feel she is compatible. If she is then take it to the next level. If she isn't then tell her so and move on. This won't prevent you from not coming across a crazy woman who wants to move in with you after one date, but at the very least it will help narrow down the field.

 
Old 09-13-2008, 01:31 PM   #5
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Re: End of realtionship.

Well to her you were the man she's been waiting for. You know that perfect one that just drops out of nowhere and presents himself. And of course you were just looking for someone to hangout with and have sex with. But the real question is what did she think you wanted? And better yet what do you think she wanted? You can't lead women on because they will run with it. In the beginning you have to tell them that you're just trying to have a good time and that you're not looking for anything serious. That way if they choose to have sex with you then it's their business and their problem. Who can get bad if you're up front in the beginning. Keep in mind that it works both ways. Guys have told me that they weren't looking for anything serious and what do you know, a couple months down the line guess who wants to get serious.

Keep in mind too that you don't have to treat women bad to want one thing. There is a such thing as a gentlemen. Just make sure you both are on the same page.

 
Old 09-13-2008, 01:45 PM   #6
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Re: End of realtionship.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pendulum View Post
Chevyman,

what kind of women would you like to attract?
One with some common sense...a head on her shoulders and a brain....and knows how to use it.

looks to me use to be important but not anymore its there personality and how they feel on the inside truly feel in there heart.


I don't think there has to be an attraction to fall in Love....it can come sowly but surely.

I didn't plan this to happen it just happen....I should have took her eleswhere and not to my place, but even at that just because we had sex she ready to marry me.

I did tell her I'm not ready to have a commitment or start a lasting romatic realtionship..only fun its fun that I want and yes that includes good safe satisfying sex, she agreed
she wanted it I gave it to her simple as that...I never knew she would ask me to move in...dang...
Now she making me be the bad guy here....I told her NO that she could not move in period thats totally out ...we can remain friends but thats all I want right now...she hung up on me.

I'm guess that she thinks I was just interested in one thing but it wasn't like that I like this girl and we have a good time togather but...still??

Last edited by chevyman; 09-13-2008 at 01:47 PM.

 
Old 09-13-2008, 02:56 PM   #7
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Re: End of relationship

Hi Chevyman,

Sorry that your previous relationship didn't work out. Whenever I go out with a guy for the first time I would never go to bed with him, no matter how much I liked him. That's my own personal rule and it has always worked for me. I prefer getting to know someone better to see what we have in common and if we get along.

Maybe start learning how to say "no" when a woman wants sex on the first date? There are nice ways of saying it without actually saying the word "no thanks".. For instance, say something like I would really enjoy getting to know you better before getting intimate.. If a guy said that to me I would respect him more but that's me..

Also, you are not the bad guy, you just went along for the ride.. This girl sounds desperate to me in my opinion. How could any girl who just met a guy for the first time want to move in without getting to know the guy first? Sounds like she has poor judgement.

Sunny

 
Old 09-14-2008, 11:02 AM   #8
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Re: End of relationship

I agree, this poor girl is mighty desperate, but sex can do strange things to women, when the hormones and the oxytocin kick in and all that.

I also agree with the poster who said you need to take some time and get to know women first before you take them to bed. Some women just think that way, "well, he SAID he's not interested in a relationship, but he MADE LOVE to me, he wouldn't have done that if he secretly didn't want me to be his girlfriend." Sex is a big deal to some women, even if they say it isn't. I personally feel that saying "hey, I just want to use your body for a while just for sex, is that ok?" eh, I don't really believe that absolved a person of all responsibility for what happens when the other person realizes they've been used and doesn't like how that feels. A true gentleman gets to know a lady well and is prepared for the possibility of offering a real relationship before he takes her to bed. Just my two cents.

 
Old 09-14-2008, 04:11 PM   #9
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Re: End of relationship

In my opinion a woman who goes out with you and then hops into your bed on the first date and without even knowing you at all......well she knows the score. She knows what she is doing, she knows that sex doesn't a relationship make, she knows that BOTH of you were basically using each other. Desperate! Don't see her again, it will only get worse.

Mileena

 
Old 09-14-2008, 05:49 PM   #10
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Re: End of relationship

Well actually this was our third date.

We have know each other for over two years and she has always kidded me about wanting to go to bed with me, anyway we were just platonic friends at first...I 'm lonely very loney and well if I get a beautiful woman to want it I'll give it to her don't have to twist my arm to much,
she was the one that came on to me and started the whole thing altho I should have seen what was coming but I'm just a normal male...now if I was in a realtionship with someone it would be totally different...I'm a free man she is a free woman.

I do know this girl pretty good but I never thought she would cry-whinnne to move in with me...especially after we were finished with the session.

I did let her know this maybe should not have happen and I was sorry for takeing her to bed ect,,ect,, moving to fast especially being intimate on the third date.
she just said it was wonderful and wink at me that sorta thing...
she is actually serious about moving in with me...

 
Old 09-14-2008, 06:52 PM   #11
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Re: End of relationship

Some women think that if they give that part of them over to a man, the man would feel connected to her and soften up to her. They think sex has super powers or something that will change a man's midset.

But then again, she might be one of those women who do not take no for an answer and since she went to bed with you, you owe her or she owns you. Some women think like that.

I do not feel bad for her. She made her bed and she should lay in it (her own bed that is.) No offense but she does not sound like her ship has docked for some time.

 
Old 09-15-2008, 06:01 AM   #12
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Re: End of relationship

Maybe she's had feelings for you all this time and somewhere in her mind she thought you had them too. Maybe that is why after a thrid official date and two years of knowing you she thinks moving in would be a good idea.

How was your friendship before you started dating? Did you ever think she may have had feelings for you before this point? It's going to be hard to go back to "just friends" since she is in a much different place than you. I think your only choice is to cut all ties.

Sorry for assuming you just hopped into bed with her on your first date. This situation is a lot worse really. It's not a matter of a desparate psycho. It's a matter of a friend who's harbored feelings for you all this time.

 
Old 09-15-2008, 07:10 AM   #13
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Re: End of relationship

Yes I agree with all of you,
happymoms right.

I'm not sure if she did have feelings for me or not? we were just platonic friends and we did enjoy each others company my ex was jelous of her and made sure she was along when I got to see this girl just as friends theres about 6 of us that are platonic friends 3 males 3 females including this girl we just all hung out togather at a sports bar , visit each other on Friday nights, like go over to each others place play poker/games watch tv just hung out togather, go to the mall, go to sport games togather usally all of us.

All of us as in>
(THE GUYS G/F's AND THE GIRLS B/F's) this girl in question never had a b/f or was in any type of realtionship at this perticular time...she had dated some of my other friends ect,,ect,, supposably never was intimate with them so my friends say?

all this time I had a g/f that lived with me and I never thought about this one having feelings for me.
I may have made a big mistake, but I'm cutting ties with her because I'm not ready to settle down into a romatic close realtionship, my last g/f is because of this.
and this girl seems to be jelous of me already and trying to control me and thats what ended my last realtionship, as you all know!

I just thought this girl was lonely and wanted to be pleasured so stupid me I pleasured her.
she really is a nice beautiful girl (''favors'' Eva Longoria) she could have just about any man she so chooses I just hope its not me...I hope she not pragnant either..we never used protection but she told me she was on bc..but?
I'm waiting to see if she comes at me with that?? grrr I will step up to the old plate then forsure.

Last edited by chevyman; 09-15-2008 at 07:44 AM. Reason: spelling!

 
Old 09-15-2008, 01:16 PM   #14
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Re: End of relationship

chevy, it sounds like you're going to have to be extra-careful in these situations in the future, because from what you've told us about your income, there are going to be women out there who are looking to trap you. Do not EVER just take a woman's word that she's on birth control if it's just casual sex. What if she had HIV or an STD?

I would be really careful with this woman...you can think you know a person as a friend, and they turn out completely different when things get intimate (as you've seen ) I hope for your sake that she wasn't trying to get pregnant just so she can move in with you. I'm worried that she's going to go into stalker-mode now.

Last edited by BluEyez1031; 09-15-2008 at 01:22 PM.

 
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