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Old 09-15-2008, 06:37 AM   #1
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tarantulove HB User
Unhappy why did he save her picture - and what he said

hi everyone. i just joined because i need some advice.

i've been with my guy a little over 2 years. we are engaged. have been for a little over a year now.

well the other day i was going through some photos on his computer so i could upload some pictures of me and him. i wasn't snooping. i was just looking at our pictures and when i went into a folder with my name and 2007 in it i saw a picture in it and it was of my sister. it was one from when me and some family visited some old friends. there wasn't any others from that day, just that picture of her. it was titled "myname sister"

so i kept wondering why he would have a picture of just her so one night when we were online together i asked him why he saved a picture of my sister. and asked him if he liked her picture or something, and he said no, that he didn't have any pictures of my family and that he wanted to have some. i asked him why he didn't save any others from that day and he said he didn't remember seeing any others. he said he cant remember seeing the others. that he probably didn't finish copying the rest of them. that i had pictures of his family but he didn't have any of mine. but he did save a picture of me, that same sister, and my aunt when we first me. and i had pictures of my mom and son and uncle on his computer. so i dont know why he said he didnt have any pictures of my family.

so i dropped it that night. but i kept wondering why he didn't save any of the others that day when i posted all of them but he just saved that one. and it bothered me all week but i didn't bring it up again until last night.

we were talking online again last night and i sent him a few pictures i took of myself yesterday and he said one of them was really hot. and i was awww. you think everyone is hot and he said no, just you. i said really? and he said yeah realy. lol. i said lol, well except for my sis, and he said no, ur much better looking then ur sister. i said lmao, so you don't think she's cute? and he said no, lol and i said lol, you don't have to say no if you do, i just figured you did and he said, i meant it, she's not cute. and i said oh i just thought that when i saw that picture of just her that time and not the rest of them on there and he said, like i said once before i never finished downloading the rest of them. and i said oh you liked hers best then cause it was the only one you saved out of all of them and he said you're not listening, i said she was not cute, i never finished downloading the rest of them. he said he did just one and quit and was going to go back later to get the rest of them but never got around to it. and i asked why just hers then and he said he guess on the open picture thingy hers came up first and he saved it. then i said but the other day you said you didn't remember seeing the others and i didnt post hers first and he said well he didn't know he guess he was too freaking tired to remember when he was doing it.

so does that sound like he is telling 2 different stories? do you think he is being honest to me or lying? not it's still bugging me but maybe i'm reading it wrong. what do you guys think?

oh and him and her never met by the way. and me and her aren't even that close. i just didn't u understand why he just saved hers that day. and the first time he said he just wanted pictures of my family and the 2nd time he didnt say that just that he didnt finish downloading them.

please give me some advice. thanks. it's driving me crazy....

i've bee so depressed all week over this over whether he's being truthful or not and all. and i've been so moody towards him and everyone else. i just want to feel better.

Last edited by tarantulove; 09-15-2008 at 06:52 AM.

 
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Old 09-15-2008, 06:54 AM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Hampshire
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happymom28 HB User
Re: why did he save her picture - and what he said

I think you should let it go to be honest. The way you were talking to him on the computer last night it sounds like you kind of ambushed him and he was automatically on the defensive. He seemed to give the same story, minus the not seeing the other pictures. I guess I don't see why it really matters.

If everything else is good in your relationship is it worth dwelling on a picture of your sister of whom he's never met?

 
Old 09-15-2008, 02:28 PM   #3
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BluEyez1031 HB User
Re: why did he save her picture - and what he said

Honestly, I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill here. You two are engaged, and at this point I think you should (hopefully) be able to trust him enough to believe what he says. It's only one picture, and they've never even met. Let's go out on a huge limb here- say he did purposely save her picture. What would that even mean? It's not a "naughty" picture, and he doesn't even know her. Is he going to have feelings for her based off of ONE picture? Unlikely.

I really think he's telling the truth, however. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

 
Old 09-15-2008, 03:26 PM   #4
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negot HB Usernegot HB User
Re: why did he save her picture - and what he said

I agree with the others. He has never even met your sister. In my opinion, you are worrying about nothing.

 
Old 09-15-2008, 03:33 PM   #5
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Location: California
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Redneon82 HB User
Re: why did he save her picture - and what he said

I find my SO's older brother to be a very attractive person. I have met him several times and each time I realize what an attractive person he is. The reason (I believe) that I find him attractive? Because he reminds me of his brother (my SO)!

It could be that your sister reminds him of you, and he kept the picture because she makes him think of you. My SO gets a kick out of seeing my son because he and I look so much alike. And he certainly is not attracted to my son (LOL!). I like to look at his family pictures to check for resemblances to my SO. It's just a fun thing to do.

I'm sure there's nothing sinister going on. Maybe you can apologize to him for giving him a hard time and tell him you realize that you got a little upset over nothing. I think things will be fine.

 
Old 09-15-2008, 04:07 PM   #6
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Mileena42 HB User
Re: why did he save her picture - and what he said

Yep, I too agree. Without anything else to base this on, this is nothing. Maybe he even saved the picture to show to a friend hoping to set your sister up with someone should she ever be in town. Try to relax.

Mileena

 
Old 09-15-2008, 05:48 PM   #7
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cathy1 HB Usercathy1 HB User
Re: why did he save her picture - and what he said

Sounds like you are almost badgering him out of your insecurities. One thing that will drive most guys away is jealousy over things that aren't all that meaningful... ie.. this picture of your sister. If you don't let this go not only will you continue to go crazy but you will drive him crazy.

 
Old 09-15-2008, 07:27 PM   #8
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IZZY'SMOM HB User
Re: why did he save her picture - and what he said

Stop being so insecure...Seriously. He doesnt want your sister, for God's sake, hes with you. Maybe he thought she was pretty and reminded him of you. I could see if he'd met her and been flirty, ,ect and THEN you saw the photo, but he hasnt done anything.
If you cant let this go, and trust, Im sorry, but have no future with this guy or ANY other one. Seriously, just try to not be so paranoid.
xoxoxox,
IZZY'SMOM

 
Old 09-15-2008, 08:02 PM   #9
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Doneil HB User
Re: why did he save her picture - and what he said

I understand how you feel. Sometimes we can all feel insecure with our men regarding "other woman" and maybe because he saved a picture of your sister, it has made you extra insecure, because it was indeed your sister's picture.

I think because it's your sisters picture it has caused more worry for you then they'd really need be. Also actions speak louder than words. So if you look at your relationship on a whole if it is generally pretty happy and secure and moving forward then don't let a silly picture come between you. Or if there is cause to be anxious and jealous than maybe you need to do some thinking about things.

Anyways Take Care!

 
Old 09-16-2008, 06:21 AM   #10
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 528
luckydarlin HB User
Re: why did he save her picture - and what he said

Listen, I'm not going to call you insecure or immature - whether right or wrong, obviously this has bothered you and we all know how one thought can then turn into a million possibilities in our mind if we let ourselves over-think it too much. At this point you really do only have two options - one you trust him and realize it's just what he says it is, or two - continue to make an issue out of it and it will eventually be the downfall of the relationship. It seems he is sticking by what he's saying so the more you continue to bring it up is only going to escalate the issue. Unless you have a reason not to trust him, you're going to have to work through this with yourself and get past it.

Good luck!

Last edited by luckydarlin; 09-16-2008 at 06:22 AM.

 
Old 09-16-2008, 07:32 AM   #11
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ergo4 HB User
Re: why did he save her picture - and what he said

It sounds like you were trying to manipulate the situation to make him say something to hurt you. Why would you do that?

He is with you for a reason. If you cannot trust or accept that he thinks you are "hot" and you are the women he wants to spend his life with, then you need to get counseling.

OR

If you feel he is not trustworthy for whatever reason, then you need to re-think your engagement.

I have a really "hot" sister and I've had significant others think so and tell me. People say we look alike. I take it as a compliment. They never take it so far as to linger on the conversation about it -- so I don't feel any discomfort in them telling me so. Besides looks are surface -- my past significant others never thought they were compatible or even necessarily liked my sister's personality. It's a total package thing. You have to love yourself here...stop baiting your fiance!

 
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