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Old 09-15-2008, 10:29 PM   #1
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Another Lesson Burned.

Another Lesson Burned.

Last edited by AllTheSame; 10-17-2008 at 12:35 AM. Reason: adding something

 
Old 09-16-2008, 04:59 AM   #2
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Re: Another Lesson Burned.

Although you "look pretty good," your account has something to do with Andersen's most famous fable: The Ugly Duckling. Do you know it? It's about feeling (or actually being) rejected while apparently doing nothing wrong at all.

I don't know what to tell you in order to make you stay more comfortable in your life. Maybe it's only a question of time. You seem to be mature enough, yet it could be the case that you are still in the process of maturing, and what you tend to read as betrayals, snubbing, letdowns, etc are simply the ways society and youth in particular functions. There is nothing new under the sun, and you can be sure that most people at your age also feel as if they were being betrayed, snubbed and let down by their peers.

Over time - make sure - you will find your own ways of defending yourself, of being stronger, of being more impervious to these things, of not taking them too seriously. And even more important than that: as long as you keep doing what you think is right for you, you will eventually find people who are on the same wavelength as yourself, and you will certainly feel no longer like a fish out of water, or the Ugly Duckling, who was in fact a swam.

 
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Old 09-16-2008, 08:56 AM   #3
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Re: Another Lesson Burned.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AllTheSame View Post
Long story short, I guess I'm just curious....Am I putting off some sort of vibe that keeps people away or tells them it's ok to hurt and betray me? I've heard alot of people think people who are more on the quiet side are stuck up, which isn't my case, I'm just more hesitant. How can I become more comfortable and open up more? I am not really self conscience or anything, I mean I know I look pretty good, not a hideous troll or anything, and I get complements and offers weekly (in general, I don't try to attract that attention by dressing like a hooch or anything..)

I think some people's issues, mainly with friends I graduated with, is possibly jealousy? I graduated college, moved to another state and took a high end job, while they are still working the retail and sales jobs...Could that be a factor?

I'm sorry this is so long, I'm just so sick of people snubbing me. Or what am I doing wrong? I don't understand.

Thanks for listening.
I think your experiences with people are pretty much par for the course in the world of today. The difference is how we deal with these experiences. A shy person can give off a signal that people interpret as lack of interest or snobbishness. Do not write scripts for why people are the way they are; you will do in your head this way. You ask how can you open up more. This question is its own answer - if you can act like a confident person and be bright and interested, they will respond. think of a popular confident person you know and watch how they do it. A lot of social poise is learned, some people are naturally better at it to start with, the rest of us have to practise.

 
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