Hi.
I've been dating a wonderful girl for almost 2.5 years now. She's kind, caring, warm, she goes to church on sundays and she has never slept around. Everything I ever wanted to find. But she's an only child, she seems to care enough about what her family says and her family are a bunch of jerks.
Last year I proposed to her and thought well we're going to be on our "marry way", until I met her family.
At first her family didn't even want to meet, they didn't care what had occurred etc. Eventually we got together. On the 1st meeting it was with her Mom & Dad (mind you her Grand parents control the household). We sat at a cafe talked yet nothing of major significance was brought up. In fact I noticed how they completely under dressed, t-shirt, caps. But all in all it was ok.
Eventually I met her Grand parents, once again this went okay, they seemed more respectable. I felt progress was being made. Eventually I met all 4 at once. None of them supported the relationship, nor the marriage proposition, yet they did there best "it's up to you" statements.
So for a few months I started going to church with her to see if that would help. It didn't.
Me & my girl eventually started looking @ receptions halls without them. I was fine with it, as long as she was on my side I felt okay I can handle this. On 2/17/2008 me, my fiance, my parents and brother were going to go taste food at this hall, unfortunately to my absolute suicide my father, my mentor and my idol passed away during a horrible January winter storm due to shoveling= heart attack. In my culture we need to wait atleast 1 year after the death before getting married. This put everything on hold obviously.
Now for a little background.
My fiance is an only child, in fact she's the only "child" that any of those 4 people see (her grand parents and parents). SO hence it is a very small family. Her family didn't show any respect on my father's passing, they blew off the whole thing which me, my mom everyone felt was absolutely unacceptable. Since my father's passing something changed in me, there's been more urgency to progress. Somewhere along the way, my finance told me she would move in to my mom's house, she actually told my mom that too. In June though she got a job 40 miles away. So obviously taht hasn't happened either.
It's been a very up and down relationship since my father died. I am looking for something concrete and now she's focused on her new career. I finally said okay, move out of your parents house on your own to increase the time we spend together, since I am not really welcome in her house. It is now almost October and the promises are all false. She says she will, she's just busy.
We fought so much in August over a bunch of stupid things that 3.5 weeks ago I felt we might as well break up. Instead since I do love her and I know what I said at the begining is so hard to find in a person, I decided to repropose to her to clean the slate. To get back to the basics, to once again identify what we're here for. I purchased 24 roses and spelled out I love you, blindfolded her and took her to a park we went to when we 1st started dating and proposed with a new ring.
I want to state that since my father passed on, I haven't always been completely patient with her as far as her moving out. I just don't understand if she does love me why this is such a difficult thing to do. She has only looked at 2 apartments!! I am losing my mind. I just turned 30 she's 24 in October I don't know if I'm wasting my time or what should happen now? Should I be more patient? Am I making to big of a deal? Is it really that important? Should I just tell her fine lets just start planning the wedding for 09? The only thing lacking in this relationship is time spent. I see her about once a week, this is so lame!
