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Old 09-18-2008, 02:14 PM   #1
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Question husband question?

I may be crazy for asking this question but it really really bother me alot. My husand and I been married for 20 years now and I love him to death and he says he loves me.

Question: We moved to my husbands home town about 5 years ago and whenever we are somewhere or someplace that his ex gf is, he is always taking a quick glance at her. (They went out for 6 years before she broke it off) he looks not one time (which would be fine) but many many times. I catch him often just looking but not for long. I've just asked him about it. I asked why does he do this glancing and he tells me he doesn't know. It bother me alot and I have a low selfesteem right now as it is. CAN SOMEONE tell me why he does this??? Are his feeling still there?

Thanks

 
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Old 09-18-2008, 02:37 PM   #2
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Re: husband question?

Is this a very very small town, or what?

I have lived in the same neighborhood for 45 years, and have had realtionships with differant people over the years. I dont put myself in places that my ex's frequents, with or without another person, out of respect for them and myself.

Why do you end up in so many situations that your ex is close enough to be looking at his old flame? Why would he bring you to such a place. Do you and he have your own places that you go? He is being very disrespectful to your feelings if he understands how it hurts your confidence and self-esteem, when he looks at any other women while in your company-much less his old news.

Confront him, his actions will be the answer-not his words. You deserve to be adored.

 
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Old 09-18-2008, 02:56 PM   #3
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Re: husband question?

Yes a pretty small town we live in. Well our son and his ex's son are the same age, same school and play sports. Her son and my son are now playing football together so it's mostly school funtions or some sort of sport. Baseball in the summer and football in the fall and then there are the stores we go to. We only saw her a couple of times at the store but that is when I said I got to find out why he is doing this. Oh and forgot to say she's been married twice before and messed around on her husbands. Kind of a wild one. And to top all this off she is very pretty grrrrr hate it LOL

 
Old 09-18-2008, 03:53 PM   #4
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Re: husband question?

I don't really have much advice other than to empathize with you. I know what you are going through...my husband's EX lives just a couple miles from us and it seems like we can't go anywhere without seeing her &$#@% face! We used to drive right by her house all the time and I noticed that every time we did, my stupid &%#&% husband would crane over to look...I finally told him I didn't appreciate it at all so we go a different route now.

Last edited by BeaTrade; 09-18-2008 at 03:54 PM.

 
Old 09-18-2008, 09:55 PM   #5
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Re: husband question?

It's usually just a curiousity for men. Tell him to stop the teenage sillyness.

 
Old 09-19-2008, 06:54 AM   #6
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Re: husband question?

Quote:
Originally Posted by realguy View Post
It's usually just a curiousity for men. Tell him to stop the teenage sillyness.
Well said, Realguy! He is probably nostalgic for the youth he misspent with her rather than her as a person. Clip him over the ear'ole every time he does it, that will train him.

 
Old 09-19-2008, 07:38 AM   #7
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Re: husband question?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seraph View Post
Well said, Realguy! He is probably nostalgic for the youth he misspent with her rather than her as a person. Clip him over the ear'ole every time he does it, that will train him.
I wish you wouldn't need to do that. I wish he would simply avoid looking at her and at any other woman for that matter - at least in your presence. He would do that out of respect for you. Period.

Anyway, the real problem here seems to be your low self-esteem. I think you and your husband must find ways of looking at each other again. Do you look at each other when you talk, or does it feel like looking at a blank wall when you are talking to each other? You must feel proud of each other, that is.

She may be beautiful, but I am sure you can find a way to look as beautiful as her. Don't let depression get the best of you. Look after yourself and make yourself somewhat unavailable, too. Maybe when other people start to notice you, your husband will begin to understand that he really doesn't need to look elsewhere.

 
Old 09-19-2008, 07:13 PM   #8
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Re: husband question?

Thanks you guys for all the replies....
I'm laughing at Seraph, clip his ear that is funny. Might try it sometimes.

Pendulum you are sooo right. We do need to look at each other and yep I do have a problem right now with alittle depression. I'm over weight right now and have gotten this way after my mom passed.
I use to teach arobic when I was younger and kept in shape. So now I'm so upset with myself. I DO have to start with myself and really work on it. I'm pretty hot when I lose weight hahahaha and I know for a fact that my husband loves me but maybe if it starts with him not looking at her then I'll start feeling better and start bettering myself. I have started a diet every Monday hahahaha I think. I know it's my own fault that I gained some weight.

I'll find my way back to being beautiful again. I hope sooner then later

Thank you all again and I will take all you've said at heart.

:heart:

 
Old 09-20-2008, 04:24 AM   #9
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Re: husband question?

Quote:
Originally Posted by It'sMe_Angel View Post
Thanks you guys for all the replies....
I'm laughing at Seraph, clip his ear that is funny. Might try it sometimes.

Pendulum you are sooo right. We do need to look at each other and yep I do have a problem right now with alittle depression. I'm over weight right now and have gotten this way after my mom passed.
I use to teach arobic when I was younger and kept in shape. So now I'm so upset with myself. I DO have to start with myself and really work on it. I'm pretty hot when I lose weight hahahaha and I know for a fact that my husband loves me but maybe if it starts with him not looking at her then I'll start feeling better and start bettering myself. I have started a diet every Monday hahahaha I think. I know it's my own fault that I gained some weight.

I'll find my way back to being beautiful again. I hope sooner then later

Thank you all again and I will take all you've said at heart.

:heart:
That is the point. Actually, you don't need to compare yourself with her. That would be competition. What you have to do, in my opinion, is to regain your own beauty, with the advantages and "disadvantages" of your current age.

 
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