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Old 09-19-2008, 11:10 AM   #1
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bebe1983 HB User
my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

my bf is a little upset with me regarding his dog situation. he thinks it's suitable to let his dog live outside in my backyard if he builds a fence. NO WAY.

he thinks id be more open to keeping him this way, since i Wont let him live inside since he is a terror and untrained.

we live in florida..hurricanes, Extreme heat, downpours, etc. how in The world could a boxer live outside? my backyard would be a diaster and would reak of dog poop.

does this Seem a little unjust?

 
Old 09-19-2008, 11:14 AM   #2
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Re: my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

You just need to put your foot down and tell him that you are not taking the dog <period>. He isn't staying in your yard, he isn't staying in your house, you are not taking care of him. Don't give him any wiggle room here. Be firm and straight to the point!

Last edited by happymom28; 09-19-2008 at 11:15 AM. Reason: apparently I can't spell today

 
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Old 09-19-2008, 11:19 AM   #3
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Re: my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

Excuse me, when and how did this become your problem? He can't handle his dog and he expects you to come up with a solution??? And you are some kind of bad guy if you don't get him out of the mess he created??

Please don't give in trying to be a "good girlfriend". You will regret it.

 
Old 09-19-2008, 11:20 AM   #4
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Re: my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

he Was working out at The gym today and this old guy was telling him that DOGS ARE MEANT TO LIVE OUTSIDE. that is the biggest load of crap ive ever heard. when it gets to be 110 degrees outside or when we have 90 mile/hr winds from a hurricane, how is he going to feel?

i feel bad for my bf, i know he wants to keep this dog in his life so i feel bad every Time i put my foot down. but it seems very inhumane to make a dog live outside.

i remember we stuck him on My patio for a few min And he started scratching down the door. NO WAY.

im not going to give in this time. this is so ridiculous. i wish He would drop It

 
Old 09-19-2008, 11:24 AM   #5
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Re: my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redneon82 View Post
Excuse me, when and how did this become your problem? He can't handle his dog and he expects you to come up with a solution??? And you are some kind of bad guy if you don't get him out of the mess he created??

Please don't give in trying to be a "good girlfriend". You will regret it.
he would also say things to me like if we ever got married one day he would hope that i would accept his dog as well.

well maybe if he dog wasnt Such a monster. maybe if he didnt shed all over The place.

he says its very hard to abandon him b/c the dog is like a son to him. all i have to say if thats how he treats his ''son'' he shouldnt ever have children

 
Old 09-19-2008, 02:18 PM   #6
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Re: my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

Hmmmm since I am a devout animal person maybe I am not the best person to respond. I know this post is about the situation in and of itself more than the dog, and of course you shouldn't be forced to keep a dog you don't want......but is he also living there? I mean, once you move in together is he expected to give his dog up?

A boxer is a bulldog correct? They are rather large animals. He DOES indeed belong outside...I live in Alabama and it gets hot here as well.....most dogs if given fresh water and shade from the sun can live outside. As a matter of fact, only small or lap dogs actually should be considered inside dogs.

IF I were your BF and I was considering getting married....this would be a deal breaker for me. I had my beloved chihuahua for 9 years, and she was a terror as well. If I had met someone who refused my dog....I would have dumped them FLAT no questions asked...no compromise. I loved my dog more than I loved some family members.

Of course, you have your argument,and some people just don't ever get to the point where they have a love for animals that others feel. Your argument is a valid one. However, if he indeed loves his dog like a son (and I am sure even if you can't understand that...doesn't make it any less true) then be prepared for losing out on this one. Like I said if I were in his shoes......you would already be gone.

Mileena

 
Old 09-19-2008, 02:57 PM   #7
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Re: my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

Mileena, I have utmost respect for you and your oninion so I hope I don't offend you...but it sounds like the BF is trying to pawn off the dog onto bebe because he can't deal with him. I know you would never consider trying to pawn off one of your precious animals onto someone who didn't share your passion for pets, just because you'd had some training issues with the pet.

I love cats, but am not a dog person. Fortunately the guy I'm living with has a cat and loves them too, but I had to find a temporary home for my precious kitty (his cat isn't neutered, he was trying to mount her). I gave her to my brother to keep until I have my own place, because he loves cats as much as I do. But I wouldn't have given her to someone who didn't like cats, or animals, or who wasn't comfortable with her, because she wouldn't receive proper care.

I just think bebe's BF needs to find his own solution rather than trying to force her to care for an animal that she isn't comfortable with.

 
Old 09-19-2008, 02:59 PM   #8
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Re: my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileena42 View Post
Hmmmm since I am a devout animal person maybe I am not the best person to respond. I know this post is about the situation in and of itself more than the dog, and of course you shouldn't be forced to keep a dog you don't want......but is he also living there? I mean, once you move in together is he expected to give his dog up?

A boxer is a bulldog correct? They are rather large animals. He DOES indeed belong outside...I live in Alabama and it gets hot here as well.....most dogs if given fresh water and shade from the sun can live outside. As a matter of fact, only small or lap dogs actually should be considered inside dogs.

IF I were your BF and I was considering getting married....this would be a deal breaker for me. I had my beloved chihuahua for 9 years, and she was a terror as well. If I had met someone who refused my dog....I would have dumped them FLAT no questions asked...no compromise. I loved my dog more than I loved some family members.

Of course, you have your argument,and some people just don't ever get to the point where they have a love for animals that others feel. Your argument is a valid one. However, if he indeed loves his dog like a son (and I am sure even if you can't understand that...doesn't make it any less true) then be prepared for losing out on this one. Like I said if I were in his shoes......you would already be gone.

Mileena
no my bf doesnt live with me. he's been wanting to give the dog up b/c of his lack of time and money to care for it. plus he keeps his boxer couped up In A condo. none of his friends want his dog b/c he is a terror, sorry but he has never been properly trained and is extremely hyper.

i live alone and own a house. i used to always want a dog, But ever since i moved out and got my own place, i Decided to not own a pet b/c i like keeping my place clean And tidy. im not saying u cant with a pet, But i just dont have the time to play pet trainer when i get home from work, nor do i want to walk in my place and breathe in the smell of urine and dog poo if it has an accident.

i know my bf says he loves his Dog like a son, but he says he has to give it up because he cant take care of him. you dont just give up your son...plus he's always running out of dog food, the dog has worms and hasnt been to the vet this yr, his nails Are unbearably long. i just dont think it's fair to let this animal damage my home. neither of us Will be around to reinforce positive behaviors.

once we put him in the screened in patio, And he took The door of the hinge when he bust through it.

how can this dog Possibly live In fl when we expereince hurricanes, flooding,100 degree temps, wild animals that carry rabies... plus i keep Reading that boxers Dont tolerate heat well.

im sorry but if he Wants to dump me b/c i dont want to Take care of a dog that he doesnt even take care of,.....so Let it be.

i think people sometimes people Like him Wake up one day and say,''i think ill go buy A dog.'' then they do everything but actually train it, and wonder why it has destroyed the house, and it's not easy to break dogs out of bad habits or like they say ''u cant Teach an old dog new tricks.''

actually it was his genious of an ex who got him from the pound. from what i heard she was pretty lazy, didnt go to college, And rarely worked. its a shame she couldnt find time in her busy schedule to train this animal, and she couldnt Take him either since her cat was terrified of it.

i know i might sound brash or harsh, but i dont feel like caving in. i work hard for what i have.

 
Old 09-19-2008, 03:23 PM   #9
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Re: my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

Tell your bf the only way you would keep a dog of any kind is if he took it to training classes and also that the dog was trained to live indoors. Just having a dog is not good enough anymore. It is cruel not to train a dog and certainly not to just leave it outside for the elements and for neighbors to listen too. Your bf doesn't sound very responsible...and you are very right in refusing to allow the dog anywhere on your property until it was fully trained and bf showed that he too really cared about the dog.

 
Old 09-19-2008, 03:36 PM   #10
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Re: my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

honestly, i think there are some deeper issues here and im sorry if i start to rant, i will be seeing a therapist in a few weeks, but i just need to get some things off my Chest.

my bf has been talking about moving in with me b/c he wants to start thinking about marriage. but ive never been up for and never will be up for a trial cohabitation unless we actually tie the knot. i have my own personal values and shacking up before marriage is not one of them. but i have nothing against and No less respect for anyone else who Does it, but it's just not for me.

another issue is that he is going into foreclosure on his condo. his job has not been doing well with the economy, so he's gotten into some financial trouble.

he said he KNOWS how i feel about cohabitation, But that it would really help him out financially if he did move in with me. i simply Said no. i told him that he needs to straighten out his situation independently.

then he starts going on About taking this second job and how bad he feels about his dog. he said he needs to find another Home for him b/c he isnt going to be Around enough to take care of It. no one else who knows him wants this dog or could handle it.

so if i decide to bring his dog Into my home, guess who else is soon To Follow? yes,...my bf. i love him, but i Dont want to have someone indebt to me b/c they cant straighten out their financial situation. i also dont want bf using the dog as an excuse for him to move in with me to help better his financial situation.

i hope this isnt what is happening here, but i have to stay strong for what i stand for.

 
Old 09-19-2008, 03:56 PM   #11
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Re: my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

Not offended at all Redneon. I respect your and others opinions as well.

Ok, with the new light on things....since he does not care for the dog....no vet visits, and no grooming...and simply doesnt' want to be bothered with the responsiblities, then I am offically changing my advice. With these new details, I can see that he does NOT care for this dog like a son, and as a matter of fact does NOT need to own an animal at all.

It isn't the dogs fault he is a terror because as you said he hasn't been properly trained. I suggest your BF make an attempt to find this dog a good home, with people who will love it and train it for the rest of its life. If a pet is a burden, then it shouldn't be there. This dog deserves to be with an owner who can care for it in the right way, and for the rest of it's life. I am totally against getting a pet, and keeping it until the new wears off. A pet is a responsbility you take on for the lifetime of that pet. Most people don't realize that some larger dogs can live to be well into their teens. Also, I don't think your BF should ever be allowed to own another, unfortunatly people like that tend to keep doing these things.......well I could go on and on about this...as it's a huge passion of mine...but thats off the subject...so please don't take my post the wrong way....I just feel sorry for the poor unwanted boxer.

Mileena

 
Old 09-19-2008, 04:27 PM   #12
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bebe1983 HB User
Re: my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

mileena,

no, i Do not find your post To be offensive at all. thank you for help understanding my situation and feelings. i surely wish you lived near us b/c you sound like you would be the perfect home for this dog and could give it everything it needs. i hope my bf can find someone like you who wants to care for his dog.

 
Old 09-19-2008, 07:51 PM   #13
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Re: my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

Hmmm... I guess this doubleposted. See my note below.

Last edited by cathy1; 09-19-2008 at 07:59 PM.

 
Old 09-19-2008, 07:56 PM   #14
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Re: my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

No... a dog should not live outside in excessive heat. My sister has been a Vet tech for years and says No Way. They see animals all the time at her office suffering from heat problems. Heat stroke is most common in the large breeds and in dogs with short noses. The dog doesn't know any better if it's hot and it gets excited ie.. digging or trying to get away etc...and can get sick very quickly.

Why doesn't your boyfriend bring the dog somewhere for obedience classes or behavior training?

 
Old 09-19-2008, 09:08 PM   #15
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bebe1983 HB User
Re: my bf's brilliant idea for me to keep his dog

Quote:
Originally Posted by cathy1 View Post
No... a dog should not live outside in excessive heat. My sister has been a Vet tech for years and says No Way. They see animals all the time at her office suffering from heat problems. Heat stroke is most common in the large breeds and in dogs with short noses. The dog doesn't know any better if it's hot and it gets excited ie.. digging or trying to get away etc...and can get sick very quickly.

Why doesn't your boyfriend bring the dog somewhere for obedience classes or behavior training?
he looked into it, but it Was pretty expensive for them To come to your house And he couldnt make the times for the ones at petsmart b/c of work.

 
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