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Old 09-24-2008, 01:12 PM   #1
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why does ex lover call then hang up

why does ex lover call then hang up

 
Old 09-24-2008, 01:37 PM   #2
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Re: why does ex lover call then hang up

Wow, where can I begin? You provided so much detail, I'm having trouble wading through all of it in order to formulate a response! Whew!

Who knows why? You know her better than any of us, so you tell US why she would do that? This is honestly an impossible question to answer. Just a friendly suggestion, but you might want to articulate with some further information before expecting a well thought-out response. Just an idea.

 
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Old 09-24-2008, 02:08 PM   #3
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Re: why does ex lover call then hang up

If I had to hazard a guess, I would guess that you broke up with her and she didn't take it very well. She's having trouble letting go and misses the relationship, so she's obsessing a bit. Unless it's several times a day, or unless she's made threats against you or has been physically following you, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Give it some time, she'll move on when she's ready. Did you lie? Did you cheat on her? Did you just disappear on her withouth a trace? Did you just slip away without the "uncomfortable break up talk?" If so, then she's probably needing closure. If you think she's not a real dangerous threat, call her and tell her you know she's been calling and hanging up and what's going on with her, and maybe she'll tell you if she feels there's any unfinished business. Be honest with yourself - did you do anything at all to her that was in any way less that totally honest, fair, respectful and totally on the up and up? If you did, you might want to say you're sorry you didn't do a better job at ending in but that it's for the best for both of you and it's over but you never meant to hurt her and you wish her well. If she threatens you or herself or continues to call, you might want to enlist the authorities.

 
Old 09-24-2008, 02:10 PM   #4
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Re: why does ex lover call then hang up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tivo123 View Post
Wow, where can I begin? You provided so much detail, I'm having trouble wading through all of it in order to formulate a response! Whew!

Who knows why? You know her better than any of us, so you tell US why she would do that? This is honestly an impossible question to answer. Just a friendly suggestion, but you might want to articulate with some further information before expecting a well thought-out response. Just an idea.
Yeah sorry I got a little wordy there. Actually that is what I put in as a search and didn't know it would post as a question. Please refer to my "newbie" status. Here's some background....I've been invloved with this person for about 3 years, known her for 7. Met at work, became friends and over the years it esculated. She broke things off about 8 months ago. We've gone through the on again off again thing a few times over the 3 years and I've always been the one getting back in touch. It's been 8 months since we've communicated, which is the longest we've gone. My intial question revolves around this. If she is the one that called it off, why would she call my office on the weekends, which she's done a few times. My v-mail picks up a message of her talking with friends, almost like an accidential redial. Then this past week I get a call at 9:30 in the morning, caller id shows her number, I answer, hear silence fore awhile and then she hangs up. I'm just trying to get a feel as if she is trying to reconnect, just mess with my head, or just wants to hear my voice.

 
Old 09-24-2008, 02:22 PM   #5
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Re: why does ex lover call then hang up

Maybe she's trying to get up the nerve to talk to you and loses the nerve when she hears your voice.

What I didn't get from you is if you welcome the contact, and would want to see her again. Do you and would you?

 
Old 09-24-2008, 02:41 PM   #6
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Re: why does ex lover call then hang up

Speed dial blooper? A bf is snooping on her phone and saw a phone number he didn't recognize and decides to call it to see who picks up? She's 13 and prank calling you?

 
Old 09-24-2008, 02:44 PM   #7
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Re: why does ex lover call then hang up

I'd say it's more the situation that she is trying to work up the nerve to talk to you again. Not necessarily to get back together, mind you, but just to see how you're doing.

Believe it or not, women really DO just want to know how it's going without the added "let's get back together" attached to it. They are just genuinely curious and want to know. Guys, on the other hand, sometimes just want a booty call, so they call the last girl they dated thinking that they can get it on with her because she'll be desperate enough to say yes.

Last edited by Tivo123; 09-24-2008 at 08:09 PM.

 
Old 09-24-2008, 03:37 PM   #8
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Re: why does ex lover call then hang up

I'd love to hear from again. The only thing that's keeping me from contacting her is that I'm trying to do right by her last "true" communication with me......which was we can't communicate. It's just frustrating as I can not tell what she wants.....are her pseudo calls her way of reaching out in an efort for me to be the one that really makes first contact. OR As Tivo123 suggested is she's just checking to see how I am.....not sure how that's accomplished by her calling my office on the weekends when I'm not in....or when I'm in the office she hangs up w/o saying anything....

 
Old 09-24-2008, 03:47 PM   #9
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Re: why does ex lover call then hang up

She'll probably call again, and when she does and you answer and don't hear anything, maybe just say "I'd like to talk to you if it's ok" and see what she says.

I'd feel a little silly calling an ex after I told him not to contact me, so she's probably nervous.

 
Old 09-24-2008, 08:08 PM   #10
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Re: why does ex lover call then hang up

I agree completely with Red. The next time she calls and doesn't say anything and you know it's her for sure, if you want to talk to her, tell her you'd like to talk.

I do think she is trying to work up the nerve to talk to you. Of course I don't know her, but it appears by everything you've said that she's just afraid to initiate the conversation because of how it ended.

 
Old 09-25-2008, 06:30 AM   #11
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Re: why does ex lover call then hang up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tivo123 View Post
I agree completely with Red. The next time she calls and doesn't say anything and you know it's her for sure, if you want to talk to her, tell her you'd like to talk.

I do think she is trying to work up the nerve to talk to you. Of course I don't know her, but it appears by everything you've said that she's just afraid to initiate the conversation because of how it ended.
Red/Tivo, thanks for the input. If I may can i get your take on this. Her birthday is coming up....be it good or bad I'm the type of guy that tries pretty hard to do special/meaningful things for the people I care about. Examples, for her last bday I had a cake delivered to her work. The cake was a special Italian/Croation/cucumber cream thing....ok, well it wasn't that nasty of a cake...but point being, it was her favorite and not a simple task of picking one up at Publix. In fact the only baker I found in the Southeast that would make one was an hour away. Other examples, she's into music and had recently taken up guitar lessons, so for valentines day instead of doing the flowers and card thing I ordered metal guitar picks, three of them....had her intials engraved on them attached them to a bracelet and put them around a bottle of wine. I also had "follow your passion" engraved on them. I'd randomly do goofy stuff like leave a song on her office v-mail over the weekend so Monday mornings would be.....well, less like Monday mornings. If she was not feeling well I'd leave a care package of cough drops, zicam etc... on on her desk to help make her feel better. Damn, after writing all this down I'm actually feeling like a complete jack *** for doing all of it. Anyway, sorry for the diatribe....here's the question; do I do ANYTHING for her b-day this year?
E-mail/text just to say happy b-day, send her a new car? Ok, kidding about that one...but I'm just not sure what, if anything to do. She blew off my b-day a couple of months back but I understood being that she had just recently broken things off. I guess for me it goes back to is she trying to reach out to me or not? I hate to think that both of us want to reconnect but due to pride, guilt or whatever we won't. Conversly, I've always been the one that comes back and feel if I do, then it will be more of the same. Not to sound silly, but I want to know if I really meant something to her or was I merely an emotional crutch....

 
Old 09-25-2008, 06:37 AM   #12
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Re: why does ex lover call then hang up

Why don't you e-mail her and title it "were you trying to call me?" then say:

I got two calls on my phone that were from your phone number...I wasn't sure if you were trying to reach me or if it was an accidental speed dial error. Please call me back if you want to talk.
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Old 09-25-2008, 07:10 AM   #13
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Re: why does ex lover call then hang up

I freely adimit it's a pride thing for me. I've always been the one that comes back. If I sent that e-mail and either had no response or her response is, no that wasn't me, then I'd feel pretty stupid.

 
Old 09-25-2008, 09:18 AM   #14
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Re: why does ex lover call then hang up

Then e-mail and say: Why are you calling me?
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Old 09-25-2008, 09:26 AM   #15
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Re: why does ex lover call then hang up

You could also wrap your "happy birthday" email or text with a "why are you trying to call me, is everything okay?" message.

I'm one who even if I haven't talked to a person in a while if I know it's their birthday I still send them a message. It makes me feel like a good person remembering them even if I don't get a reply (which has happened) in the past. It's just the kind of person I am, and it sounds like you may be a bit like that too.

 
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