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Old 10-08-2008, 06:48 AM   #1
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I'm really in bad shape: "I am not good enough for anyone".

I don't know how to shake this feeling inside that "I am not good enough for anyone". Not JUST anyone, but someone of worth (we all know that there are people who are lacking in morality and such). After my divorce, I have not been able to shake the fact that "she can do better than me", even though I am the type of person who would treat her well. When I was married, I wanted to make my wife happy, above other things.

I've heard people tell me that I need to just "snap out of it", but I can't shake it. There are a few girls that I would enjoy being in a relationship with, but I know they can do better. It is a failing on my part.

I'm a good person. I have a few talents, things I'm relatively good at. I care about people and their happiness, as well as their future. I'm easy to get along with. I have a decent job and don't have any bills. I try to dress well and keep myself as clean as anyone should. My teeth are of good color, with no cavaties. I have nice eyes. . . . . . . . . . . . Yet I know they can do better. My flaws overshadow my good points. The girls I mentioned above, who I would love to be involved with, I wish them happiness and "the best". I know I'm not "the best" and there are plenty of others who are.

See, . . . . . . told you I was in bad shape.
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Old 10-08-2008, 03:22 PM   #2
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Re: I'm really in bad shape: "I am not good enough for anyone".

Are you getting any professional help? It sounds like you could benefit from a professional.

 
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Old 10-08-2008, 04:24 PM   #3
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Re: I'm really in bad shape: "I am not good enough for anyone".

Hmmmm, I had dated some guys like you when I was younger and the "I'm not good enough for you" routine got old and eventually I lost interest. I think it's hard to find happiness if you are not happy with yourself-----your happiness matters too, not just trying to please your girlfriend/wife. Nobody is perfect but if you think bad of yourself it is reflected and others will begin to grow tired of you feeling sorry for yourself and of your self esteem issues. I hope you can get some help and get through to accept who you are.

 
Old 10-08-2008, 04:49 PM   #4
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Re: I'm really in bad shape: "I am not good enough for anyone".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redneon82 View Post
Are you getting any professional help? It sounds like you could benefit from a professional.
Those were my exact thoughts. Everyone has their flaws EDC just as everyone has their good points. You are a great guy, but the problem here is you don't believe it. You have been through a lot and your self esteem took a huge blow. I think you owe it to yourself to talk to a professional.

 
Old 10-09-2008, 04:57 AM   #5
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Re: I'm really in bad shape: "I am not good enough for anyone".

No matter how wonderful someone is, there's always going to be someone better. Seems to me as if you may be attracting the wrong type women..women that only see the surface and are looking for some Ken Doll. There are a lot of people like that...to them the perfect mate means the perfect(looking) person. They are only looking at the book cover and not the content of the book!
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Old 10-09-2008, 07:42 AM   #6
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Re: I'm really in bad shape: "I am not good enough for anyone".

I had a chance to talk to my couseling staff, last night, and it was helpful. I need to forgive myself for my own anger of myself. I may make some other appointments with them, though, to continue discussing these things.

andiesq70, I appreciate what you said. And it is true, . . . . and is what scares me about myself. I don't want to be that kind of person who is always negative. . . . . . . . . . . . . Hmmmmm, maybe I should take some sort of Zen type of inner look, focusing on who I actually am, rather than what I SEE myself as.

It is just a very hard . . . . addiction (for lack of a better word) . . . to overcome, because it has been something that I struggled with pretty much all my life (self loathing), well, since I was in junior high, anyway, when I wasn't "one of the popular people". So literally YEARS of programming to rewrite and inner toxicity to cleans. I want to be happy with who I am, all around.
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Old 10-09-2008, 07:49 AM   #7
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Re: I'm really in bad shape: "I am not good enough for anyone".

Quote:
Originally Posted by EDC_Light View Post
. . . . . . . . . . . . Hmmmmm, maybe I should take some sort of Zen type of inner look, focusing on who I actually am, rather than what I SEE myself as.
someone suggested a good book called "the diamond in your pocket" by ganaji.....search online for it

Last edited by rosequartz; 10-09-2008 at 07:51 AM.

 
Old 10-09-2008, 08:25 AM   #8
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Re: I'm really in bad shape: "I am not good enough for anyone".

I will look for it. Thank you!
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EDC means EveryDay Carry...........because everyone should carry a small light with them all the time.

 
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