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Old 10-12-2008, 08:27 PM   #1
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Girlfriend has barely said a word to me all week.

I'm stuck in a rut and I don't know what else to do.

Last Monday my girlfriend got sick and had the flu, then on Wednesday or Thursday she calls me up crying and I guess this friend of hers had something go wrong with his brain and had to be hospitalized. The guy had his sister call my girlfriend and said that she was the only one he said to call other than his family.

Now a bit of back story on this guy. Earlier during the summer he asked my girlfriend to meet him during her break period during work because he wanted to show her his new car. Since I'm not a jealous person and I trust her I didn't have a problem with it. Later that night I find out that while she was talking to him he tried to kiss her. She told him he can't do that and that she has a boyfriend. From what I'm told he said "tell me when you make up your mind" as if she was contemplating breaking up with me. I trust her and I know she wouldn't cheat on me or anything like that. Then stupidly the next day while she was at school he asked to talk to her again after class. For whatever reason without talking to me about it met him after class. From what she tells me she was going to tell him he can't keep doing this when shes in a relationship. Well I guess he tried to kiss her yet again. So she calls me again and I was upset and she felt terrible and promised never to put herself in that situation again. Then again like a month ago he wanted to meet her again while she was on break at work because apparently he's moving in a couple months. I talked to her bout it and told her im not comfortable with it after what he did the last two times. She respected that and told him she couldn't meet him during her break period.

I don't think she's cheating on me, she's not that type of person and I trust her more than anyone. But now this kid goes and has something in his head explode putting him in the hospital and they're saying it'll be nearly 6 months till he's fully recovered. And now my girlfriend has been going to the hospital every day to see him which sort of pisses me off. Not once during our relationship has she come to see me every single day (we live sort of far apart). You could say its jealousy, but at the same time I feel like an a**hole being jealous that my girlfriend is visiting a friend in the hospital.

On top of this she's barely said a word to me all weekend. Normally we have 2 hour long phone conversations and talk forever or hang out at least once during the weekend. This weekend the longest I've talked to her was for maybe 20 minutes. Every time I call her or even when she calls me she sounds really sad and doesn't say anything and then will say she has to let me go because she has a lot of homework to do.

I managed to talk to her a good bit today and asked what was wrong and if she wanted to talk about it. She told me she didn't want to and then I told her I feel like she doesn't even like me anymore and she said that normally when she talks to me she feels better. But for some reason talking to me right now doesn't make her feel better. Then she told me how she was kind of sad that I didn't come to her work to see her on Saturday. But I remember talking about that with her and she said she wanted me to. Then changed her mind because she was going to the hospital again right before that and didn't know how long it would take.

I don't even know what to say to her right now. Even though I trust her its like this feeling that shes cheating on me but then if I were to ask her about it I'd feel like an a**hole because this guys in the hospital. I don't think I should feel like I need to put myself in the hospital in order to get her to pay more attention to me. I really don't know what to do, this is just a really fragile situation and I seem to be getting pushed to the outside.

Last edited by Giant_Squid; 10-12-2008 at 08:34 PM.

 
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Old 10-13-2008, 09:00 AM   #2
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Re: Girlfriend has barely said a word to me all week.

Okay, take what I say with a grain of salt because I could be totally wrong. My first impression of your post is that maybe your gf realized she has feelings for this guy in the hospital. Maybe seeing him sick and possibly feeling like she almost "lost" him has made her re-evaluate her situation and her feelings. Sometimes traumatic things can do that to people. If that's the case, that explains why she's seeing him every day and why she's being distant from you because she's probably confused.

On the other hand, she could just be having a hard time right now and is upset, scared, sad about the whole situation with her friend, so she is pulling away as a way to deal with it.

 
Old 10-13-2008, 12:40 PM   #3
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Re: Girlfriend has barely said a word to me all week.

I would like to think you're wrong, and just a few minutes ago she was talking to me and seemed really happy to hear from me.

Last night she called me and she said she's been upset with me because I wasn't there for her this past weekend when everything was going down the drain. But that's where I'm confused since she asked to meet and then later canceled. While on the phone she kept saying how she needs me right now and how she needs a hug and needs someone to talk to.

I don't feel like she has feelings for this guy and would like to at least think she still really cares about me.

I still want to tell her I'm kind of jealous but I don't even know how to go about doing that without sounding like I'm selfish. The kids in the hospital, how am I suppose to say something? Do I wait till he's better or till she isn't so upset?

 
Old 10-13-2008, 12:45 PM   #4
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Re: Girlfriend has barely said a word to me all week.

Some women want the man to insist on seeing them, or insist on helping, even if they say they're "fine". Is she the type to give you a short "nothing!" when you ask what's wrong? And then gets upset when you don't "force" it out of her? Or the type who says that if you loved her you'd automatically know when she's upset? Because if so, she might be mad because you didn't insist on seeing her even when she told you not to. And yes, I can certainly understand why you'd be confused. Next time you ask to see her or offer to help, and she says "no", let her know that you are going to take her at her word so she should only say it if she means it.

 
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