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Old 10-15-2008, 05:10 AM   #1
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Co-worker sent husband naked pic

I JUST found out that a very young beautiful co-worker sent my husband several pictures to his email account. He knows that I have access to his email account. A few years ago we hit a bad time in our relationship (he was on drugs and I was going through a bad depression after my dad died) and he went online and registered at places like online dating. After that we got ourselves straight, he got clean, and I thought that we had been doing wonderfully. I knew that he admired this girl b/c she is young and pretty but I didn't know that he would speak to her in a suggestive way MUCH LESS something like this. I am so hurt right now, I am at work and trying not to cry.

We have been married almost 10 years and have a 7 year old daughter. I am 40 and he is 49. This girl is in her early 20's.

There are 4 pictures sent on 9/30/08 She took all of the pictures herself. One is just a head shot of her in her car. Two are of her standing in front of a bathroom mirror with only a t-shirt on showing off her legs. And the most shocking one is of her standing in front of the bathroom mirror showing her breasts.

Right now all sorts of things are going through my mind as you can imagine. Also, I don't know what to do. How should I handle this? Should I show my cards right away and ask him what the hell is going on? Should I hire a private detective to get the truth? Should I send her an e-mail of my own and tell her to leave my husband alone? Right now I really want to act irrationally and yell and scream and cry at him.

I need help!

Last edited by moderator2; 10-15-2008 at 07:27 AM. Reason: posted disallowed website(s)

 
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Old 10-15-2008, 06:28 AM   #2
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Re: Co-worker sent husband naked pic

I feel sick just reading that. His response sounds totally off the cuff/off guard. Her actions are totally inappropriate...and I find it hard to believe she "just sent it" without any provocation. Can you imagine someone sending a boss naked pictures to his home e-mail account? I don't mean to stir the pot but look for inconsistancies in his answers and keep checking his email. If he changes his password, assume he is guilty of at least flirting with her.

 
Old 10-15-2008, 06:40 AM   #3
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Re: Co-worker sent husband naked pic

I'd blame him.....not necessisarily her.....
yes she has a part in it, but he should have known better.
and his nonchalant response is just too much to ignore......she sent them....
so that makes it ok?

 
Old 10-15-2008, 07:07 AM   #4
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Re: Co-worker sent husband naked pic

I know it might sound childish and mean or something, but I'll tell you what I'd do in your situation. I'd actually laugh at him. I'd say, "Do you honestly believe a really pretty 20something is going to be interested in your old, balding, fat, lame self??" or something like that. I mean, I'd turn it around and make him feel stupid for entertaining thoughts of being attractive to her.

I know she was the one who sent the email to him, but I still think you should do your best to undermine his confidence and make him feel like if he had the opportunity to be with her, he'd first of all not be able to "rise to the occasion" because he's so much older than her and therefore slower and whatever, and secondly to make him feel like a goober for even thinking that he would have the ability to make that kind of girl be interested him in the first place.

And let me clarify that I don't think 40s is too old, cause I'm in my 30s and I'm almost there myself. But to a 20something year old, 40s IS much older, so that's why I'm thinking the more you play up the angle that he's an old man who is tired and lame and unable to handle such a young thing, the more stupid he will feel! At least that's the idea.

And maybe people will say no, that's stupid, you shouldn't do it. But my point to you is that he has hurt you by this behavior. And I don't see any reason why you shouldn't just hurt him right back and make him feel like the idiot he is for even entertaining the thought. You should seriously just make him feel like the biggest loser because then he'll see what a stupid thing it was to do.

Maybe that's not good advice, but I really think it's stupid for him to chase a younger girl, who he works with, while he's married. That's just the epitome of stupid. So, that's why I think you should let him know just how stupid he is and make him feel bad. He should be made to feel bad for behaving this way because it's not right and he should seriously be ashamed of himself!!

Last edited by Tivo123; 10-15-2008 at 07:09 AM.

 
Old 10-15-2008, 07:42 AM   #5
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Re: Co-worker sent husband naked pic

I would send the girl an e-mail implying that you would appreciate it if she would stop sending your husband naked pictures of herself. I would also make it a point that his career is very important to the health of your family (including a child) and you would hate for something like this to interfere with your financial stability. I would also add, “I think that you are a very pretty girl but you should find somebody your own age that is not spoken for. Maybe even throw something in there like, “My husband said that you are stalking him and will stop at nothing. If this continues, I will be forced to contact your employer and possibly file charges.

Now as for your husband, I would print out all evidence that you have acquired and non saliently tell him as he’s walking in the door, “I e-mailed so and so at work and told her to stop e-mailing you naked pictures of herself.” “You better start explaining”
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Old 10-15-2008, 08:10 AM   #6
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Re: Co-worker sent husband naked pic

You'd have to just be kidding yourself if you believe there's nothing going on. Women don't just send nude pictures to their address book contacts!
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Old 10-15-2008, 08:29 AM   #7
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Re: Co-worker sent husband naked pic

Bea, of course that is what I am thinking too.

I am really holding myself back from e-mailing this chick. I can't hold it back much longer.

 
Old 10-15-2008, 08:32 AM   #8
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Re: Co-worker sent husband naked pic

Even though that girl is wrong to send that...your husband is the one that's obviously done something to encourage her and he's the one that's breaking his promises to you. I know you want to blame her but in rational thinking, he's the one you need to be mad at...of course easier said than done! If I was in your position I'd go nuts on him if I found such pictures. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and think what I'd do...I'd go crazy!!!!!!!
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Last edited by BeaTrade; 10-15-2008 at 08:35 AM.

 
Old 10-15-2008, 08:54 AM   #9
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Re: Co-worker sent husband naked pic

I know that you are right in that it is his fault not hers. Plus, I only know what he is telling me but I know there has to be more to it than that and that he at the very least encouraged her and is flirting with her.

What I want to write to her is much like the other poster said, something rather polite about how I would appreciate it if she kept her contact with my husband strickly professional. I'm not wanting to go off on her.

 
Old 10-15-2008, 08:58 AM   #10
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Re: Co-worker sent husband naked pic

I've never been one to blame "the other woman" It’s your husband who has allowed this kind of behavior to happen and he needs to be the one who puts a stop to it.

I think your next step all depends on what you'd do if you found out they we're carrying on more then just an email flirtation. Would you divorce him if you found out he has been having an affair? If so, then I'd probably hire a detective to make sure that’s exactly what’s going on.

I'm also curious to know if this girl is even aware that he is married. I have a friend in her early 20's who just found out the boyfriend she's had for the last year and a half has a wife. She lives in the country side while he commutes to the city during the week for work. She never would have approached him if she knew what she was getting herself into.
{removed}

Last edited by Moderator BAC; 10-16-2008 at 09:38 AM. Reason: Inappropriate statement

 
Old 10-15-2008, 03:38 PM   #11
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Re: Co-worker sent husband naked pic

Trystme, did you tell your husband that you saw these pictures yet? I see that your second post got delete by the mods so maybe you said but it's gone now.
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Old 10-15-2008, 04:47 PM   #12
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Re: Co-worker sent husband naked pic

Bea~
You took the words right out of my fingers. I was, like, "did I miss something?"
And TIVO...If you were a man, id marry you. That is EXACTLY the way I think. Heck yeah!
IZZY'SMOM

Last edited by IZZY'SMOM; 10-15-2008 at 04:55 PM.

 
Old 10-15-2008, 05:26 PM   #13
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Re: Co-worker sent husband naked pic

HI, I was wondering what i have missed too. MAybe you could fill us in trystme!
But I dont think I would mock your husband if I were you. If you want him to love you and be loyal to you then you need to make sure he feels loved by you and mocking him will only make hime feel miserable, and will undermine his confience in himself. The then underminds how he feels about your relationship and if he doesnt get what he needs from you, then he will look elsewhere. Also why would you want to put the man you love down by telling him he's balding etc? Surely you're attracted to him so he cant be those things...

That said I do think he would have done something toe courage her behaviour, I'm in agreement that someone doesnt just email nude pictures...unless she is very odd. I think your husband definitely owes you an explanation. But also I think you should email this women, politely telling her that your his wife and you would appriecitate her respecting your relationship etc etc. If she doesnt know that he is married then she might be quite shocked, this can only work in your favour!!
Good luck
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Last edited by jsfai; 10-15-2008 at 05:28 PM. Reason: typo

 
Old 10-15-2008, 06:52 PM   #14
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Re: Co-worker sent husband naked pic

I would e-mail them back to her, asking "is this you? If so, did you mean to send these to my husband?"

 
Old 10-15-2008, 07:58 PM   #15
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Lightbulb Re: Co-worker sent husband naked pic

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redneon82 View Post
I would e-mail them back to her, asking "is this you? If so, did you mean to send these to my husband?"
SOooooooo passive aggressive - I LOVE IT!!!!!

 
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