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Old 12-09-2008, 11:03 AM   #1
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What does a Man expect from a Woman in a relationship (married/dating)??

I am curious to know you opinions and experiences on this matter. I am having a difficult time in my relationship and I am looking for advice.

Thanks,
Mary

 
Old 12-09-2008, 11:18 AM   #2
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Re: What does a Man expect from a Woman in a relationship (married/dating)??

Could you give some details about the difficulties that you are having? What men expect depends on the man. Everyone is different. But, if you specify your question, maybe people can give you some insight.

 
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Old 12-09-2008, 11:48 AM   #3
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Re: What does a Man expect from a Woman in a relationship (married/dating)??

Thank you for your reply.

I feel that I am an easy going person. I am caring, considerate, understanding, and respectful. I do have my limits though and I think my fiance has reach my breaking point. Bascially, he accuses me of bitching. This seems to be his remark to every situation in which revolves around a discussion regarding his behavior or the kids. Truthfully, I don't consider myself as such. Yes, I admit I am opinionated when it comes to expressing my feelings but least of all, I am not bitchy.

 
Old 12-09-2008, 12:46 PM   #4
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Re: What does a Man expect from a Woman in a relationship (married/dating)??

he's being disrespectful at the very least, and possibly verbally abusive.
I'd reconsider marrying him, it will just get worse.

 
Old 12-09-2008, 04:46 PM   #5
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Re: What does a Man expect from a Woman in a relationship (married/dating)??

Why is it that men want to label having a discussion about things that NEED to be addressed as bitching? If I ask that the garbage please be taken out......then have to ask again, and then a third time....this time getting heated then it's bitching? Wouldn't it just be easier to do what is asked of you the first time? Then there wouldn't be any "bitching" going on.

Mileena

 
Old 12-10-2008, 03:59 AM   #6
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Re: What does a Man expect from a Woman in a relationship (married/dating)??

Quote:
Originally Posted by mary023 View Post
Thank you for your reply.

I feel that I am an easy going person. I am caring, considerate, understanding, and respectful. I do have my limits though and I think my fiance has reach my breaking point. Bascially, he accuses me of bitching. This seems to be his remark to every situation in which revolves around a discussion regarding his behavior or the kids. Truthfully, I don't consider myself as such. Yes, I admit I am opinionated when it comes to expressing my feelings but least of all, I am not bitchy.
Hi.

To me, this is still somewhat abstract. Could you give us a more concrete example of the discussions you have with him? By the way, who are those kids? Your kids? Or kids in general? How long have you been together?

 
Old 12-10-2008, 06:56 AM   #7
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Re: What does a Man expect from a Woman in a relationship (married/dating)??

Pendulum,

We have been together 1 1/2 yrs..engaged for 4 months. Most discussions/disagreements are about the kids. We are both single parents. Never been married/engaged until now. He has a 3yr old and I have a 5yr old. Both boys. He makes it a point to tell me that my son acts like a child without a father figure. This really peeves me because I discipline my son and his father is in his life and sees him every other weekend. The younger one will instigate and when the older one lasses out, he gets in trouble. There is never blame on the younger one it seems and my son's says he feels picked on. I understand boys will be boys and I am not using that as an excuse but it seems that no matter how I approach my fiance about his son's behavior towards me or my son, I am incorrect and bitching. I cannot win for losing and I don't want to constantly be on my son's butt for being a kid.

 
Old 12-10-2008, 07:36 AM   #8
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Re: What does a Man expect from a Woman in a relationship (married/dating)??

Quote:
Originally Posted by mary023 View Post
Pendulum,

We have been together 1 1/2 yrs..engaged for 4 months. Most discussions/disagreements are about the kids. We are both single parents. Never been married/engaged until now. He has a 3yr old and I have a 5yr old. Both boys. He makes it a point to tell me that my son acts like a child without a father figure. This really peeves me because I discipline my son and his father is in his life and sees him every other weekend. The younger one will instigate and when the older one lasses out, he gets in trouble. There is never blame on the younger one it seems and my son's says he feels picked on. I understand boys will be boys and I am not using that as an excuse but it seems that no matter how I approach my fiance about his son's behavior towards me or my son, I am incorrect and bitching. I cannot win for losing and I don't want to constantly be on my son's butt for being a kid.
I see. I, too, have kids at home (they are somewhat older than "your" kids). They are sister and brother, and nevertheless they are fighting most of the time.

Reading your latest post makes me wonder if you have chosen the right words as a headline. Maybe it should read: how to prevent kids' issues from damaging your relationship, or something along those lines.

It's very difficult to change small kids, especially the younger ones. I don't know if your fiance is telling the truth about your child's behaviour, but the thing is it sounds unfair to you to be hearing him say those things. I wonder whether he would be complaining about other things if the two boys got on with each other fairly well. Maybe he is the one who *******, not you. If your kid lacks a father figure, then maybe his kid lacks a mother figure. What can be worse?

Maybe these two boys need other children around themselves. If there are other kids playing, they will have less opportunities for fighting and pick on each other. They both may need more physical activities, more outdoords activities, so they can release some of their built-up tension. And of course both need rules, not only the older one. If one of them breaks a rule, he gets a "punishment".

Try to convince your fiance that you don't want your relationship spoilt by what the kids are doing to each other. They will eventually grow and leave you behind. So what is the point of letting the relationship go sour just because of the kids? They are relatively new to each other, and it seems they are still adjusting themselves to this new life. Rtaher than blaming one party or finding faulty with one party, you parents should encourage both to become friends.

 
Old 12-10-2008, 09:23 AM   #9
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Re: What does a Man expect from a Woman in a relationship (married/dating)??

I just don't think this relationship stands a chance........

you can't win here, no matter what you do, I'd walk away and start fresh.

 
Old 12-10-2008, 11:56 AM   #10
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Re: What does a Man expect from a Woman in a relationship (married/dating)??

It doesn't sound if this man is the right man for you. I have kids myself and would not tolerate that a man I am dating constantly complains about my son. That is not fair to your son. You could start complaining about his son, but you are not. Your son does have a father figure although his father doesn't live with him. Your son is only 5, you shouldn't subject him to someone who complains about him. Even if your son doesn't hear the complaints, he probably can feel that he is being complained about. You should rethink this relationship. Men come and go, but your child is always going to be your child.
Do not jeopardize your relationship with him because of a man who doesn't sound very tolerant.

 
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