My son got married 10 years ago to what I thought, was a wonderful girl. She is now 37. I'll call her Gigi. On the outside Gigi treats me with a lot of respect and cannot do enough for me whenever I visit their home in Florida, i.e., waiting on me and serving me and everything is very amicable.
The problem is that in their 10 years of marriage, Gigi has NEVER picked up the phone to have a conversation with me. I speak to my son often, and I can only guess he relays the information to her.
What is so strange to me is that she has never sent me a birthday card, Mother's Day card, etc. Occasionally I receive "information" emails from her, but are always quite generic. Never an expression of emotion.
Gigi is extremely vain and when it comes to her home and appearance she is a "perfectionist". She is an excellent HOSTESS and puts out the very BEST china, food, and a FULL bar at every social occasion...making certain that EVERYONE has EVERYTHING they need. She never participates in any conversation, for her focus is on fashion and beauty. Her delight is in being the PERFECT hostess, loves to throw parties...and is extremely good at it.
On the outside everyone sees her as "bubbly" and extroverted, but has a "chip on her shoulder" attitude whenever she feels criticized or challenged.
She corresponds with no one except occasionally with her family who live in Quebec and one other "guy" friend from her home town who has become more like "family". She has made no other friends in the 15 years living in the same area and her only social life consists of her husbands buddies and clients.
As their mother, both of my sons' friends like me as they are always complimenting me and think I'm COOL! However, I have been told that Gigi "trashes" me to other people. This is quite disturbing and I don't know how to handle it.
My 2nd son is currently engaged to a lovely girl, Sheena, who shows me nothing but deep affection and respect both in words and actions. She even calls me "mom". I believe Gigi feels "threatened" by this new entity because for the FIRST time in her emails to me she is addressing me as "Mom".
Sheena also finds Gigi's personality worrisome as Gigi has also
expressed very disparaging remarks to her about me and doesn't know how to react. I don't want to take part in "bashing" back" although I've been tempted.
The other thing I find disturbing is that she "trashes" and "bashes" her own husband (my son) to me and Sheena; she also bashes his twin brother, yet she displays positive emotions to them with hugs and kisses, right after she got through bashing them.
Another flaw in her character, by her own admission, is that she is very UNFORGIVING. She is still bringing up matters that happened years ago that everyone has gotten past. My son also views her personality as extremely self-serving. My opinion is that Gigi is more interested in getting "brownie points" with people than having a genuine CONCERN for them...for once they are out of her presence, they cease to exist.
Whenever we hear stories about Gigi and have confronted her with them, she denies ever saying it and gets quite angry about it. There seems to be a facade of LOVE but an internal HATRED that none of us can figure out or know how to handle. I need some advice.