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Old 12-27-2008, 11:59 AM   #1
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Looking for encouragement and answers

So i come here today a little uneasy about it, but idk where else to look for answers. I have been dating a girl for about 4 months now. We have known and had a thing for eachother for almost a year now but held off about starting a relationship, finally we did. Things started out great, we seemed perfect for eachother, I really fell hard for this girl, and she is someone dear to me. I lover her and she says she loves me.

Lately things have been going downhill. She kisses me less, show little affection towards me, and sometimes is very very short with me. When i express me feeelings for her she practically turns away and runs off or says oh ok. I care so much for this girl and she means everything to me so of course it upsets me.

She is dealing with a few things going on right now and she says she cant open up to me and wants to distance herself from a relationship with me, not me personally. Going from perfect to this is a real heartbreaker and idk what to make of it. Yes she will talk to me and hang out with me, but it seems almost akward to do so. She says she still cares about me and were still together, it just not an easy thing to understand.

Anybody have any ideas about whats going on? Like i said im just looking for someone who may help me with some answers about this situation and just any help i could get would be great. This fear and heart ache consumes me everyday, and its getting worse.

 
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Old 12-27-2008, 04:44 PM   #2
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Re: Looking for encouragement and answers

I'm sorry you're going thru this, but I've found that usually around the 3 month mark, things in a relationship change in one way or another......
you can't really be sure of things too soon because in the first few months everyone is on cloud nine and after that reality seems to set in.
I'd back off and start exploring your options if I were you.....
If she's interested in continuing this relationship, let her show you a little effort....if she doesn't, she's not worth your time.

 
Old 12-27-2008, 09:13 PM   #3
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Re: Looking for encouragement and answers

Maybe just confide in her and tell her how worried you are. She could have something going on in her life that you don't know anything about. It could be a family member, an illness, an old friend that has issues. Maybe she feels like she can't trust you with this issue, but doesn't want to tell you because she thinks you might be hurt by hearing that she doesn't trust you with it.

Who knows, or she might just not be as interested in the relationship and she might have thought that a relationship with you would be a lot better than just being friends and maybe she is just realizing she was mistaken and she doesn't want to lose your friendship but now it is too complicated. Maybe just be honest and see if she has anymore answers for you, it is her decision how she acts, but it might help her if she knows that you have noticed her acting differently. Get some explanation or apology before you start to resent her or whatever is going on with her.

 
Old 12-28-2008, 12:19 AM   #4
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Re: Looking for encouragement and answers

Ok well i have brought it up about her acting different on two occasions, and dont get much of a response. She is going through a couple things that trouble her to an extent. she says though that through that she wants to distance herself and take of it on her own, she also doesnt wanna distance herself from me in particular, but from our relationship. But right after she says oh were stilll together dont think we have broken up, im just thinking about some things. Its quite confusing, anyways thanks hope u can make some sense out of this latest reply.

 
Old 12-28-2008, 10:03 AM   #5
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Re: Looking for encouragement and answers

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnboy21 View Post
She is going through a couple things that trouble her to an extent. she says though that through that she wants to distance herself and take of it on her own, she also doesnt wanna distance herself from me in particular, but from our relationship. But right after she says oh were stilll together dont think we have broken up, im just thinking about some things. Its quite confusing, anyways thanks hope u can make some sense out of this latest reply.

this girl is talking outta both sides of her mouth.....she wants to distance herself from your relationship, but not from you? Oh yeah it makes perfect sense.....she's keeping you at arms length while she explores her other options.......I'd say its time for you to explore yours....

 
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