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Old 01-03-2009, 09:50 PM   #1
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need some reassurance about marriage

And not so much reassurance TO marry. I'm already married. and HAPPILY. We have been together for 8 years. Married for 3 1/2. I am so so happy with him. But I'm 24. So kind of young, and people always are so shocked or react strangely about it. All I see are failing marriages, and just wanted to know if there were any happy marriages out there? Are you in love? Are you best friends? Do you look forward to coming home? Do you want to make him happy?

Sometimes I wonder...if we are just doomed. I feel secure in our relationship. Our communication is great...we are learning how to compromise more and more everyday. We are still giggly and happy around each other. I guess my head is just filled with so many "marriage is awful" thoughts from what I've seen in life that I just get a tiny bit scared!!!

I guess I let things get the best of me from what I see and read. but can someone give me a success story? Some reassurance that marriage, if you are truly in love, does in fact work? I guess what I'm looking for is someone to tell me yes, being with someone is worth it.

thanks...!

 
Old 01-04-2009, 05:29 PM   #2
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Re: need some reassurance about marriage

Every day, our paper runs a spread of marriage anniversaries. Every day, I see another helping of people who stayed together for 50, 60, 70 years. Sometimes they print pictures of their wedding day, very young people, looking like 18 or 20 years old.

I have been in a marriage only for 6 years, but have no intention of dissolving etc. You just have to keep in mind that people grow up and change over time, and if you both understand that and value new developments in each other, it is going to be OK.

And another thing to note is, only when people have problems, they post on boards. Happy couples are invisible, but it doesn't mean they don't exist.

Last edited by klava; 01-04-2009 at 05:45 PM.

 
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Old 01-04-2009, 05:35 PM   #3
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Re: need some reassurance about marriage

I know a couple who are close to 70 and got married in their 20's. They are very happy together. You can tell when we are at cookouts and group events that it's very real. They had 3 kids together who turned out well and are now helping with grands from 2 to 15. And I'll tell you they had some bumps in the road from a business that failed to a home invasion type break in that left one of them very injured. The main thing you said about you and your husband is that you still laugh together. These two still laugh together. And here's the kicker to the story: I really don't care for the woman. She is not my cup of tea. But I really respect what I see she's maintained in her family. And while she can really get on my nerves, she and her husband were a great match for each other. It can happen. Count your blessings!!!

 
Old 01-04-2009, 07:31 PM   #4
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Re: need some reassurance about marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by maryjane1984 View Post
And not so much reassurance TO marry. I'm already married. and HAPPILY. We have been together for 8 years. Married for 3 1/2. I am so so happy with him. But I'm 24. So kind of young, and people always are so shocked or react strangely about it. All I see are failing marriages, and just wanted to know if there were any happy marriages out there? Are you in love? Are you best friends? Do you look forward to coming home? Do you want to make him happy?

Sometimes I wonder...if we are just doomed. I feel secure in our relationship. Our communication is great...we are learning how to compromise more and more everyday. We are still giggly and happy around each other. I guess my head is just filled with so many "marriage is awful" thoughts from what I've seen in life that I just get a tiny bit scared!!!

I guess I let things get the best of me from what I see and read. but can someone give me a success story? Some reassurance that marriage, if you are truly in love, does in fact work? I guess what I'm looking for is someone to tell me yes, being with someone is worth it.

thanks...!
Worth what? Worth being giggly and happy and secure in a happy, loving relaitonship? I'd say yeah.

Statistically speaking, people who marry under the age of 24 have a much higher rate of divorce, and yes, failing marriages are all around, but if what you got ain't broke, then don't fix it. No sense in being happy and worrying because you're not miserable. Could very well be you are one of the precious, lucky few couples who actually find true love. Enjoy it and yes, count your blessings.

 
Old 01-05-2009, 07:43 AM   #5
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Re: need some reassurance about marriage

Where I come from it is the norm to get married at a very early age. I know couples who are in their 50s, still young and vibrant that have been married for 35-40 years. My mother married my father when she was 15 and they were married for 42 years when he died.

I didn't get married until I was 30, which to my parents and extended family, this is a pretty old age to be getting married for the first time. I have been happily married for 10 years now and it is going strong.

Try not to be pesimistic.

 
Old 01-05-2009, 09:43 AM   #6
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Re: need some reassurance about marriage

let me be the dissenting voice......there are no guarantee's in life......
I was married to my best friend for 10 years.....we're divorced now.
all you can do is hope for the best and work at it.

 
Old 01-05-2009, 09:50 AM   #7
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Re: need some reassurance about marriage

Although I'm divorced, I'm an optimist. I believe if BOTH partners love, respect and care for one another the marriage can work quite well. My aunt and uncle, my other aunt & uncle, my brother in law and his wonderful wife...these are successful marriages that aren't the ones who stay together because of society or for the kids or for fear of being alone. These couples love one another, are supportive, and want the best for each other. If I could find a man like my uncle I'd marry him in a heartbeat...but I have my own issues...

It's so easy to give up when things get tough, and I'm not talking about abuse or infidelity. I mean when someone sees someone else who catches their eye, too many people are quick to jump to what they think is more exciting. We seem to think we have to be entertained all the time and have to feel that weak in the knees adrenaline rushing love every single second. I'd like to have that attraction, but with stability and comfort. I think some people just don't care to try anymore! But many do, and I've seen it. It's a wonderful thing.

 
Old 01-05-2009, 12:50 PM   #8
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Re: need some reassurance about marriage

Happy marriage here! We met in '91 (we were both 19), married in '98 and just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary last year. Yes, we are in love, best friends, look forward to coming home and still look forward to making each other feel loved. We're still giggly, too!

You are not doomed. Yes, the divorce rate is high compared to our parents' and grandparents' generations, but there are still a lot of couples who make it. You are already doing what's key, IMO: Respect, love and laughter.

 
Old 01-05-2009, 01:39 PM   #9
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Re: need some reassurance about marriage

Happy marriage here too. despite depression, money pressures, job pressures etc. happy secure marriage. In fact it's our wedding anniversary today - 8 years, together for 10.

Laughing in marriage is better sex (although that's handy too). You're on a good thing. Age is irrelevant.

Marriage is hard work at times, but in a good marriage that hard work is easy! and as my mum say's... if you do have hard times, and you will from time to time, remember that unfortunately the hard times are easier to remember than the good times, so focus on your wonderful giggles and happiness and make sure they are firmly in your heart. Enjoy

J

 
Old 01-06-2009, 07:01 PM   #10
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Re: need some reassurance about marriage

Thank you everyone so much!! I guess I lose site of people outside of my friends/family and fail to realize what's really out there in reality. Anyway, again--thanks for the reassurance!

 
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