Some time ago, I told my BF I wanted to get sterilized one day (I'm childfree), and he expressed great disagreement for some reason. He happens to want kids, but he also knows about my choice and we are still together. Our being together after me telling him that I will never have kids leads me to believe he accepts my choice and will also give up having kids in order to be with me. However, his being against me being sterilized leads me to believe he thinks I will eventually jump the fence and suddenly want kids and all he has to do is wait for me to change my mind. Or this might tie into his anti-body modification feelings (which is why I don't have the eyebrow ring I've always wanted).
Only thing is I will not be changing my mind. I might one day just tell him I'm getting the procedure done whether or not he likes it in order to drive my point home. I could get it done on the sly, but this is really something I'd like to do with his blessing. Obviously this will come up again in the future when he proposes and we have our dreaded talk about the things we disagree about, but I'm not sure what to think until then. I fear broaching the issue because I know it will lead to a painful, tearful argument like the last time we talked about kids.
Being the female, the one who would carry the child, and bottom line do everyting else needed to provide for the child, physically, emotionally, financially, and with a lifelong commitment of putting the child first-
versus:
The man, who can change his mind along the way at any time..
Gee, I would have to give the woman the option. If the man needs fatherhood to feel complete, there are women out there that do too. It's the womans choice about the children, the mans choice about the woman.
Don't get me wrong, I know it's my decision in the end. And since I'm the one who does not want children, I figure it would only be fair for me to be the one to get sterilized. I just don't see BF's logic in disagreeing with the procedure when he knows I won't give him kids anyway regardless of the condition of my reproductive organs.
Perhaps I should remind him that be being sterile would mean we wouldn't need to ever use condoms again. That might put my desires in a positive light.
Hmm, maybe I could just tell a little white lie. Like get Essure done and, if asked, tell DBF that I got a small device put into my body that will prevent pregnancy. Conveniently leaving out that it's permanent and irreversible (much unlike an IUD). No, I kid. I wouldn't want to lie to him, even if it is by omission. Besides, he's internet-savvy and could easily research the procedure and find out I left crucial details out.
I don't know if this has something to do with him being not a big fan of body modification or if he hangs on to some little false hope that I will change my mind about children if he just waits long enough...me getting sterilized would destroy that hope.
I think it's more the latter. I don't know why he is so worried because if I ever did get pregnant, I would seek a termination with or without his blessing. So even if I remained fertile, he'd never get kids out of me anyway.
No, I kid. I wouldn't want to lie to him, even if it is by omission. Besides, he's internet-savvy and could easily research the procedure and find out I left crucial details out.
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