My long distance man friend doesn't contact me too often either, but I have free long distance calling and he doesn't. So I call him on Wed. and Sun. and we usually talk for an hour. He sends me texts and emails me everyday. If your boyfriend never initiates any contact with you (not even emails) then maybe it's time to rethink your relationship. Or........if you've been together for a very long time, perhaps he's gotten a little too comfortable and just assumes you'll always be there?? Talk to your man and find out what's on his mind.
Hi, thanks for your replies.
That’s my situation. I have been in long distance relation for 7 months, we live in different countries. We used to communicate almost every day through texting and phone calls, he usually initiated the contact. After our first meeting we hadn’t met for 4 months and all this time he send me nice loving messages and told how he missed me, then we met for vocation in november and spend one week together, everything was good, he told he wanted to marry me in future… Then after one month he came to visit me to my country in december, all seemed ok… He invited me to visit him, he lives in uk and even send me papers necessary to apply visa, that was in february.
But something strange about him is that when he is out of country in business, he may not contact me at all for 1-2 weeks until he is back home, he explained he’s very busy. It makes me worry so much, but seems he doesn’t understand this. The thing is he went for a long business trip to several countries in january and now he’s still abroad. He’s contacted me very few times since then, about once a week and when I send messages, he even not always answer, it never happened like this before… The last time he contacted me was 6 days ago.
I don’t really know what’s going on, maybe he’s not interested in our relations any more and expects me to understand it myself or he’s so busy at work that lost track of time. I was trying to calm down and not panic first month but now it’s 2.5 months already and I am so upset that can’t think about something else, only look at the phone all the time, waiting for him to call…
I have been in a lot of long distance relationships. It has been my experience that when communication becomes less--there has ALWAYS been a problem. If a man truly loves you--even says he wants to marry you--then he will continue to call you regularly. Yes, if he is on business maybe a couple of days will go by when he can't call, but he will want to call you as soon as he can.
I don't want to make you feel bad--actually want you to feel better. Waiting for his calls and worryin is the worst place to be. Instead, take back your power. It is normal that as his girlfriend you would expect him to return all of your texts or calls. If he is not doing that then he is not treating you very well. So stop calling or texting. Perhaps don't even return his next calls. I am not suggesting you play games, but just let him go.
If he comes back to you stronger, tell him that you don't like this situation where he disappears. You need regular contact. If he complains or has excuses, then I think he is not as serious as you think.
By the way, you said he said he wants to marry you in the future. I am sure he meant it at the time, but darling, do NOT count on that when a man says that. The only time you can truely believe that is when you have a ring on your finger and he says "I do".
I am not saying to break up with him, I am just saying to believe that you deserve a man who communicates regularly and treats you well. If he wants to marry you, ask him "when do you see us living together and getting married?" If he doesn't have an answer then you know he is not really committed. In this case, I'd break up with him.
Hey there, I feel your pain, that sort of thing sucks. Someone gave me some painful but brilliant advice once 'if he's interested, he'll call'. Men are usually pretty simple in love but it is hard when you aren't seeing each other often. My partner, who is great with situations like this, wonders if he might also be involved with someone else? I so hope not but I'd be asking the question. Good luck.
My Long distance ' boyfreind' always responds to me , but when I let it go for a week, he sent a blank email!! I am supposed to go back and visit him him next month - and i sent him a text telling him exactly how I feel just under a week back, and he has not responded. I guess the only way to get an answer is for me to back right off, but it really really hurts!!