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Old 03-12-2009, 11:02 AM   #1
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GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

Hey all,

I'm in a situation and would love some input and advice.

The girl that I'm currently seeing is being bothered and annoyed by this guy she use to see. He broke her heart and left her. This guy was basically using her while he was seeing some other girl. A real jerk eh?

Anyway, to make a long story short, this guy has the tendency to call her once in awhile. Persistently too... I told her that I don't like it and that I want her to disassociate from him. She has no issues with that. But this guy just won't stop. He keeps calling her if she doesn't pick up. She usually gets fed up and ends up picking up. This girl is honest with me and I don't have reason to worry. I asked her how she feels and if he matters and she said no. When I asked her why he calls, she tells me that he just wants to tell her the "cheesy stuff" things you don't say to a regular friend. For instance, how not to forget to wear a coat because its cold, remember to bring an umbrella because it'll rain... that kind of stuff.

According to her, she did tell him to stop calling because she doesn't want to talk to him and that I really don't like it when he calls. He just brushes it off and pretends he didn't hear it. Anyway, this doesn't happen every day, it happens once in awhile. Also..it just so happens I know this dude. I'm tempted to confront him and just tell him to back off. I don't think thats necessary at this point in time. He knows that I'm in her life now and that he has no part of it. She's very serious with me and I definitely trust her. It's just that this guy remains in the picture at times..

What should I do?

Thanks!!

 
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Old 03-12-2009, 11:06 AM   #2
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Re: GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

She can block his number. It's as easy as that.

 
Old 03-12-2009, 11:50 AM   #3
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Re: GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

If it was only that easy..

I don't think its possible to block a single phone number. I've tried it before.

 
Old 03-12-2009, 12:00 PM   #4
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Re: GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

She can change her number or block it.

Or she can just never pick up...

If she really doesn't want to talk to him, then she would not pick up, no matter what.

He'll get the idea if she doesn't pick up at all...

 
Old 03-12-2009, 12:15 PM   #5
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Re: GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

Then she can assign him a certain ring tone and when he calls, she'll hear it and ignore the call. After a few days of this, if he doesn't get the message he's a dimwit.

 
Old 03-12-2009, 12:25 PM   #6
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Mary83 HB UserMary83 HB UserMary83 HB UserMary83 HB UserMary83 HB UserMary83 HB User
Re: GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

I agree that if she REALLY didn't want to talk to him, she wouldn't. She may not answer his calls the first time around, especially if you're there, but she does answer eventually. Have you actually HEARD her tell him to stop calling, or does she just tell you that she's told him that?

I'm not saying she is or is going to be unfaithful, but I'm guessing she likes the attention from this guy. If she 100% didn't want to hear from him, she would make sure she didn't.

 
Old 03-12-2009, 12:59 PM   #7
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Re: GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

I have to agree that if she didn't want to talk to him she wouldn't. I get that he calls persistantly until she picks up. But if she didn't ever pick up it would eventually stop. It may get worse before it gets better but it will stop.

Could it be she likes talking to him every once in while but doesn't want to upset you? Not trying to stir the pot but maybe she enjoys his occassional friendship?

 
Old 03-12-2009, 01:01 PM   #8
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Re: GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

Thanks for the replies thus far.

I don't think she craves for his attention. And you're right, I wasn't there when called. But I do have the confidence in her at this point to believe what she is saying..

I know that she should be the first person that I talk to about this. But is there a point when I should bring it up to him? I know this person quite well in fact. Getting face time with him would not be an issue.

 
Old 03-12-2009, 01:06 PM   #9
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Re: GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

Quote:
Originally Posted by happymom28 View Post
I have to agree that if she didn't want to talk to him she wouldn't. I get that he calls persistantly until she picks up. But if she didn't ever pick up it would eventually stop. It may get worse before it gets better but it will stop.

Could it be she likes talking to him every once in while but doesn't want to upset you? Not trying to stir the pot but maybe she enjoys his occassional friendship?
Absolutely not, she hates him. Her family hates him. This person is despised by many..

But you're right, she shouldnt have picked up in the first place. I should talk to her about it again.

 
Old 03-12-2009, 01:07 PM   #10
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Re: GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

No, I wouldn't get face to face with this guy about it. It doesn't need to get to that. If she really wants to stop talking, then she would stop. It really is that simple. She doesn't need protecting, he doesn't need to be warned away - she c can do that herself very easily.

Talk to your girlfriend again. That's what I recommend.

 
Old 03-12-2009, 01:09 PM   #11
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Re: GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

Quote:
Originally Posted by micro View Post
Absolutely not, she hates him. Her family hates him. This person is despised by many..

But you're right, she shouldnt have picked up in the first place. I should talk to her about it again.
Then talk to her, not him. He will eventually get the hint. And if he is relentless after too long she can get a no contact order. She shouldn't have to be "harrassed" if she doesn't want to be.

Whatever you do, DO NOT talk to him about it! That will let him know that he is getting to you which no doubt is part of the reason he is doing it. He wants you to be jealous and insecure and feel threatened by him. If you trust your girlfriend then talk to her about it. Give her some of the suggestions you heard here. But don't give him the satisfaction of letting him know this bugs you. That only adds fuel to his fire.

 
Old 03-12-2009, 10:58 PM   #12
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Re: GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

You won't like what I am about to say. I went thru this. I dated a girl for 6 months that had semi-recently just gotten out of a "horrible 6 year relationship" with a man (they even had a house together.) On our very first date, the ex showed up at HER door because he knew I was there. That was only a sign of things to come. I told her what people here are telling you; she should change her number, block him, she doesn't HAVE to answer,, etc etc. I tried that route. I had many arguments with her regarding this man and their frequent contacts, texting, etc. My trust wore thin with her and because of her inaction (even though she said he was a jerk, everyone hated him, would never go back) I was never fully able to get to the point of loving her. We ended up breaking up. 2 months later I find she is dating him again. Moral of the story and what I learned?? Women will lie and deceit you. They can be waking up next to you but be thinking about someone else. My gut told me something was fishy but I ignored it. When you have a case of a gf ANSWERING his calls, what you have is someone who really hasn't moved on. I wish you luck my friend.

 
Old 03-13-2009, 08:20 AM   #13
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Re: GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

Many times when a woman says that her ex is a jerk, everyone hates him, etc. it's because HE dumped HER and she's still mad about it. That's why they sometimes get back with the ex they claim to hate, and it makes no sense to the guy she dated in between.

Talk to her and ask if she's willing to stop answering his calls. If she gives some kind of excuse, such as "I can't help it, he just keeps calling!" then you know she doesn't want it to stop. My guy asked me to stop talking to an ex who was contacting me, and I changed my number and didn't give it to the ex, and ignored his e-mails. I did it because I didn't want to talk to him anymore. It's easy to do if you really want to.

 
Old 03-13-2009, 11:05 AM   #14
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Re: GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

Quote:
Originally Posted by micro View Post
Hey all,

I'm in a situation and would love some input and advice.

The girl that I'm currently seeing is being bothered and annoyed by this guy she use to see. He broke her heart and left her. This guy was basically using her while he was seeing some other girl. A real jerk eh?

Anyway, to make a long story short, this guy has the tendency to call her once in awhile. Persistently too... I told her that I don't like it and that I want her to disassociate from him. She has no issues with that. But this guy just won't stop. He keeps calling her if she doesn't pick up. She usually gets fed up and ends up picking up. This girl is honest with me and I don't have reason to worry. I asked her how she feels and if he matters and she said no. When I asked her why he calls, she tells me that he just wants to tell her the "cheesy stuff" things you don't say to a regular friend. For instance, how not to forget to wear a coat because its cold, remember to bring an umbrella because it'll rain... that kind of stuff.

According to her, she did tell him to stop calling because she doesn't want to talk to him and that I really don't like it when he calls. He just brushes it off and pretends he didn't hear it. Anyway, this doesn't happen every day, it happens once in awhile. Also..it just so happens I know this dude. I'm tempted to confront him and just tell him to back off. I don't think thats necessary at this point in time. He knows that I'm in her life now and that he has no part of it. She's very serious with me and I definitely trust her. It's just that this guy remains in the picture at times..

What should I do?

Thanks!!
yeah i had run into the same issue, and like you she was open with me. i told her the same thing that i didnt want him calling, i even talked to him on the phone, and he was rude, just jibber jabber how he was going to beat me up. i really felt like high school again, anyways. i did have a talk with her and simply explained my feelings to her. told her i seen us moving forward, but not until this matter is resolved. there are alot of sphycos out there you know. show she did what i thought would never happen, she changed her phone numbers all of them. that really showed me she was in this relationship just as much as i was. i dont know if thats good advice but, it did get rid of the ex.

 
Old 03-13-2009, 02:44 PM   #15
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deskette HB User
Re: GF's "Ex" Keeps Calling

she can block a single number. i had to do the same with with my ex. call the phone company, and tell him you want a child's lock to where certain numbers cant get through to her number. you should also be able to manage it online.

 
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