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Old 04-15-2009, 07:35 AM   #1
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"How women think" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

I've been thinking, recently, about how men seem to have a hard time understanding women, especially how they think, act, and react during specific moments.

I know that men and women think differently. I know how men think. . . . how I think and react, . . . . but am discovering that I really don't have a clue when it comes to deciphering the puzzle of "womanhood". AND, it could be the main catalyst in my misunderstanding, my "rollercoaster emotions" (probably unnecessary), and my general "what the heck" mindset.

How many of you guys feel the same way?

How many of you girls would say that there is something to what I'm saying?

Case in point, . . . one day, my girlfriend will be very affectionate, . . . the next day, . . . not. For a guy, the "level of affection" doesn't really change all that much. Two nights ago (and three nights ago, for that matter), my girlfriend was very affectionate. Last night, not so much. She didn't seem to have much to say and I had to ask her if she wanted to lean against me (on the couch) while watching TV. She did, but having to ask made me wonder why I DID have to ask. I also had to prod for a hug, as I was about to leave, but during the hug, she held on for a while, thanking me that I came over.

I've begun to think that my analytical brain over analyses too much, because I think like a man. . . . . . . She doesn't think like a man (probably a good thing), . . . . . . . and is it possible that her (and women, in general) thinking/actions are more fluid, changing from one day to the next, and for a man to see these changes as something other than they really are?

A question for the women who love their man. Are there just times when, though you love your guy, you just want to sit away from him, not touching, not really "making eyes", . . . but just because, and having nothing at all to do with your feelings for him?

Thanks for your input. It will help me learn, and in so doing, be a better "understand-er" in relationships.
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Old 04-15-2009, 08:06 AM   #2
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Re: "The moods of women" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

Hi EDC,

I love when my boyfriend (who happens to be extremely affectionate) touches me in any way or form, whether it's just snuggling, holding hands, giving me a look.. I welcome it all and I just love it!!

The only time when I don't want him to touch me is when I feel angry at him and then I know I have to calm down so I can talk to him and vent my feelings. And vice versa.

Before my boyfriend, I was married twice and I also welcomed all the affection both my husbands gave me. I never rejected them..

All my life I never got into any "moods" except for the past year as I am going through perimenopause (well, I'm older). So I try to be aware that my body is going through hormonal changes and take a deep breath before I open my big mouth so I won't regret what I may say.

Hope that helps,
Sunny

 
Old 04-15-2009, 08:13 AM   #3
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Re: "The moods of women" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

Thank you for your input, Sunny. Yes, it helps.
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Old 04-15-2009, 08:40 AM   #4
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Re: "The moods of women" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

Problem here is every human being is unique. Yes, there are definitely some male traits and some female traits. It's possible that your woman is moody, or that she senses something from you (valid or not) that makes her sit away. Or perhaps she is simply distracted or had a hard day at work. There is no way to categorize the way she behaves because it is the sum of her upbringing and peer relationships. You'll find each woman will handle intimacy differently; some will be more like Sunny (I'm the same as her) and some will be moody. Some will not like touching, and some will be playful. Good luck in your qwest to understand women!!!!! Sometimes women don't even understand women!

 
Old 04-15-2009, 08:52 AM   #5
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Re: "The moods of women" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

Yeah, . . . . my quest may be long and arduous.

I understand what you're saying, . . . in that each person is different, so I may be on my own with THIS person, . . . and try to understand her more. Perhaps in time, I'll know more, will be better equiped to understand, to recognize the reality and not focus on what my brain may perceive in ignorance.
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Old 04-15-2009, 09:26 AM   #6
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Re: "The moods of women" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

I have to smile at BigRed's words about women not understanding women as I also never understood women! I always got along better with guys and guys told me that I thought more like a guy compared to a female..

So yes, everyone is different. My brothers are very moody, my Dad was not moody, and I was never moody until recently..

EDC, just take it one day at a time, that's all we can do.. Enjoy what you can and try to see the positive in each day and shrug all the non-positives..

By the way, I also have an analytical mind and it has gotten me into lots of trouble as I could drive myself nuts if I overthink situations too much..

Sunny

 
Old 04-15-2009, 09:44 AM   #7
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Re: "The moods of women" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

What I read in your message is that your girlfriend wants you to initiate the affection, at least some of the time. She responded warmly and with appreciation when you did so. Women like to be wanted and to feel desirable.

 
Old 04-15-2009, 10:20 AM   #8
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Re: "The moods of women" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

My (now) ex-guy is the moodiest person I've ever met. So it's not just women!

 
Old 04-15-2009, 10:46 AM   #9
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Re: "The moods of women" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

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Originally Posted by sunnyrise View Post
I have to smile at BigRed's words about women not understanding women as I also never understood women! I always got along better with guys and guys told me that I thought more like a guy compared to a female..

So yes, everyone is different. My brothers are very moody, my Dad was not moody, and I was never moody until recently..

EDC, just take it one day at a time, that's all we can do.. Enjoy what you can and try to see the positive in each day and shrug all the non-positives..

By the way, I also have an analytical mind and it has gotten me into lots of trouble as I could drive myself nuts if I overthink situations too much..

Sunny
Sunny, . . . you are so right about those of us with analytical minds, and how they can get us into a misunderstanding by over analyzing situations. It is hard NOT to, . . . but we (those who do) should learn TO [as you said] take it one day at a time. Thanks again for your input!
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Old 04-15-2009, 10:47 AM   #10
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Re: "The moods of women" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

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What I read in your message is that your girlfriend wants you to initiate the affection, at least some of the time. She responded warmly and with appreciation when you did so. Women like to be wanted and to feel desirable.
There could be something about what you said, . . . the desire to . . . BE desired. Good word, esker!
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Old 04-15-2009, 10:50 AM   #11
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Re: "The moods of women" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

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Originally Posted by Redneon82 View Post
My (now) ex-guy is the moodiest person I've ever met. So it's not just women!

I think "mood" was an unfortunate wrong term. I probably should have used something else. But you are right, it isn't just women who are moody. Guys can be, . . .. girls aren't always. I think it is just people and men and women can be equally as moody.

I think I should have used "How women think" instead of "The moods of women". I will have to see if I can change that.
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Old 04-15-2009, 11:47 AM   #12
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Re: "The moods of women" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

I think you are over thinking this. This is the same type of thing when a women keeps asking what a guy is thinking when hes quiet... thinking something has to be wrong... afterall.. he was talking to me earlier.

What you're describing is not moodiness... its just that some people aren't going to act the same way day in and day out.

Some men are super sensitive and have a "hair trigger" towards women when they show any negative emotions. Men like that have a low tolerance level and have already branded women as being moody, touchy or have the idea that women are "all alike" (you don't sound that way from your post).

It sounds like you're getting it from reading your last post. Just as you're not the same all the time - neither is she. You're being hypervigilant ..... relax

Last edited by cathy1; 04-15-2009 at 11:48 AM.

 
Old 04-15-2009, 12:19 PM   #13
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Re: "The moods of women" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

True, cathy. I DO need to relax.

It would all be a bit simpler if we were a telepathic species. . . . . . . but I'm sure that would open up a whole new world of problems!
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Old 04-15-2009, 12:35 PM   #14
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Re: "The moods of women" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

EDC haven't you ever heard that joke......and I'm probably not telling it right....


A young groom thinking about different marriage practices and ceremonies among various cultures asked his dad......
dad is it really true that in some cultures the groom and his bride-to-be are strangers and don't even know each other?
his dad chuckled and said, son that happens in every culture.....
LOL

 
Old 04-15-2009, 12:55 PM   #15
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Re: "The moods of women" vs. "a man's lack of understanding"

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Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
EDC haven't you ever heard that joke......and I'm probably not telling it right....


A young groom thinking about different marriage practices and ceremonies among various cultures asked his dad......
dad is it really true that in some cultures the groom and his bride-to-be are strangers and don't even know each other?
his dad chuckled and said, son that happens in every culture.....
LOL
LOL . . . . that may be true, on some level.

There is a book that I saw in a book store. It was called, "Everything Men Know About Women". It was a 4" X 6" book, about 1/2" thick. I opened it up . . . and every page was blank.
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