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Old 04-22-2009, 09:50 PM   #1
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is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

hi all,

okay i have a question/concern. so i have taken some of your guys advice and i am just living my life. i am not expecting much from anybody and whatever happens...happens. so here is the deal(i am going to cut out my back story since most of you it). i talked with my ex (rather the last guy i was dating, but since i have referred to him as my ex in other threads i will keep the trend going) and asked him where we stand. he said (in a nut shell) he likes spending time with me, we get along, he enjoys my company, but he is just not sure what he wants....he said he is not saying he is single, but he wants to do what he wants to do...

so i respect him for telling me this therefore i can make an informed decision regarding what is in my best interest. i decided that i am going to put up my guard a bit but also hang out with him whenever time permits. it is not the best feeling b/c i like this guy, but i have to do what i have to do. so once again instead of going and looking for a guy that is ready for a relationship i am just living my life....

anyways i spent the night with him last week and he asked me if i minded coming over and letting his dog out a couple of nights when he had to work at the hospital late...of course i said "sure". today i went over early and his dog and i went for a jog...then my ex called me and asked if i could pick up some dog food b/c he ran out and hadn't made it to the store. i said i would and he told me that he would leave me some money for it tomorrow when i came over...so for me this is fine. yes, he may be having his cake and eating it too, but i am okay with it. he may be sleeping with another woman and spending time with me every now and again, once again (as of now) i am okay with it...

the problem comes in when i was talking to my neighbor (she and i have become close over the past few months and hang out a lot)... she tells me that i shouldn't put up with his actions and makes me feel like **** b/c i am okay with the situation. she says he is not sleeping with you anymore, not hanging out with you and much, so who is he to ask you to go get dog food for his dog?!?!? he asks you to take his dog out but he isn't spending a lot of time with you?

so maybe i do want to be with someone who wants to hangout all the time or at least has an interest in getting to know me better, but that is not the case as of right now....therefore i am enjoying my moments and living my life...i am the type of person who likes to do things for other people....what is wrong with that????


on a side note: i met up with my ex ex over the past weekend and had a really good time with him...that is another "it is what is it" type situation and to be honest(once again) i am just going with the flow of life. well my neighbor knows all the drama that my ex ex and i have went through but also she knows how much i care for him....(she is going through a similar situation with her ex) anyways i came home and we started chatting about guys and i started to tell her about my ex ex and my weekend. she immediately cut me off and said she doesn't want to hear about it...i said okay and carried on with my day. then today her and i were talking and she starts telling me about her ex and all i could think about was she was being a hypocrite...it is okay for her to tell me about the drama between her and her ex but when i start talking about my ex, it i not okay ???

 
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Old 04-23-2009, 02:11 AM   #2
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Re: is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

You may feel OK about this really unhealthy state of affairs you are living in, but if I were your neighbour, and struggling with the same issues and trying to improve my situation, I would get pretty impatient with you too. Most people would totally hate being a doormat, and while it is your perfect right to be this way, you cannot expect other people to be sympathetic with any problems you have with it. Do not try to continue to delude yourself that these exes actually want you for yourself - most people would take advantage of a willing servant and casual sex partner on tap. Ask yourself (very intensely) what your payoff is here - there will be one. Maybe you need to feel indispensable, maybe you are a born martyr who cannot say no, who knows? Bottom line is this is not a good way to behave and until you are willing to really look at why, then it is no good expecting your neighbour or anyone else to take you seriously as a mature healthy adult. Sera.

 
Old 04-23-2009, 03:41 AM   #3
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Re: is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

personally i would not do any sort of favors or hang out with an ex. if you want to just go with the flow of life find new guys to do it with. you can't expect people to understand this way you're doing things because it's self-defeating.
think about it...if i had met my current when i was single and i was like "well i can go with you for a movie right after i walk my ex-boyfriend's doggy" he would have said buh-bye...the right guy for you will have no patience for this kind of baggage. when you say you are going with the flow what you are also doing is avoiding making some tough decisions and thereby limiting yourself. you're also prolonging the inevitable b/c neither of these men will ever really totally commit to you anyway or they would have already, you've given them ample opportunity. so my advice is cut all ex's loose, put a period, and wait for blessings to come your way. BUT...if that is not what you want to do, then do it your way, but understand that many of your friends will not want to hear about it. they probably think highly of you, and that you are a great gal who is sabotaging your love life, so it irritates them. try to see it from their perspective.

 
Old 04-23-2009, 06:38 AM   #4
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Re: is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

Quote:
Originally Posted by lindsjean View Post
...

...it is okay for her to tell me about the drama between her and her ex but when i start talking about my ex, it i not okay ???
No, I don't think it is.

If what you are doing for your ex is your choice and if you have no hidden agendas, then I would say it is ok. The fact is that you can't feel the way people expect you to feel. They are entitled to have their opinions, but I find it unpolite and intrusive to tell you what you must do, unless you were asking for advice. If you don't feel like a doormat, then you don't feel like a doormat. I suppose the day you start feeling like one or find more urgent things to do, you will stop doing what you are doing. Just don't do it on a short notice, lol. And don't regret whatever you did, because that was your choice, right?

Last edited by pendulum; 04-23-2009 at 06:39 AM.

 
Old 04-23-2009, 06:50 AM   #5
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Re: is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

So actually what is your question?
Do you want all of us to agree with you and sympathize with your drama?

and as for as your g/f telling you about her problems, Well a lot of times people do that to show you how you trully are, how you put up with so called nonsense....see its already made you irritated at her! see my point?

I don't mean to be rude or anything,
If you like the situation your in with your so called ''ex'' then just shut up about it stop your belly acheing and keep it to yourself.

 
Old 04-23-2009, 08:03 AM   #6
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Re: is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

Quote:
Originally Posted by lindsjean View Post
so i have taken some of your guys advice and i am just living my life. i am not expecting much from anybody and whatever happens...happens.
Actually, I think the basic advice was that you kick both of these guys to the curb and work on learning how to be ok being on your own for a while. So no, you're not really taking our advice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lindsjean View Post
i decided that i am going to put up my guard a bit but also hang out with him whenever time permits. it is not the best feeling b/c i like this guy, but i have to do what i have to do. so once again instead of going and looking for a guy that is ready for a relationship i am just living my life....:???

If you were truly ok with this situation, you would NOT be saying "it's not the greatest feeling." That means it hurts you and you feel bad, perhaps used and not values the way you would like to be valued, and that's why it's "not the greatest feeling." Just because you like this guy is no reason to settle for the crumbs he's willing to throw you.

And "I have to do what I have to do"
What in the world does that mean? The only things you have to do are die and pay taxes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lindsjean View Post
i spent the night with him last week and he asked me if i minded coming over and letting his dog out a couple of nights when he had to work at the hospital late...of course i said "sure". today i went over early and his dog and i went for a jog...then my ex called me and asked if i could pick up some dog food b/c he ran out and hadn't made it to the store. i said i would and he told me that he would leave me some money for it tomorrow when i came over...so for me this is fine. yes, he may be having his cake and eating it too, but i am okay with it. he may be sleeping with another woman and spending time with me every now and again, once again (as of now) i am okay with it...
Ok. Keep saying "I am ok with it." Maybe if you say it enough, you'll convince one of us. But I bet it won't be me. I think if you really were ok with it, you wouldn't be here.


Quote:
Originally Posted by lindsjean View Post
... she tells me that i shouldn't put up with his actions and makes me feel like .... b/c i am okay with the situation. she says he is not sleeping with you anymore, not hanging out with you and much, so who is he to ask you to go get dog food for his dog?!?!? he asks you to take his dog out but he isn't spending a lot of time with you?
She's got a very good point. You are allowing him to use you. Not only for easy, casual sex every once in a while, but to run his errands for him. Do you really think the woman he ends up marrying will be a girl who gave him no strings sex every once in a while, trotted over to his house whenever he wanted her to to take his dog for a walk and ran to store for him to buy dog food? I don't think so. the woman this guy ends up marrying will demand much more respect than that.

[QUOTE=lindsjean;3964224]so maybe i do want to be with someone who wants to hangout all the time or at least has an interest in getting to know me better, but that is not the case as of right now....therefore i am enjoying my moments and living my life...i am the type of person who likes to do things for other people....what is wrong with that????/QUOTE]

What's wrong with that is, what you just said at the beginning of this paragraph. You DO want to be with someone who wants real relationship with you. And you will never have that as long as you are wasting your time running errands for this guy. You are trying to kid yourself. You are not enjoying your moments and living your life. You are giving up on yourself. You ask if it's ok that you're ok with this? Let's use an analogy. Let's say you know a person who weighs 400 pounds, and can't fly on a airplane, can't ride a bus, can barely walk, but still eats pizza, cheeseburgers, milk shakes, all day long. Would it be ok if this person was ok with this? This person is an adult and free to make their own decisions, and they enjoy eating this way, it tastes good, it feels good, it comforts them, and they might say "sure, I'd love to be skinny, but that's just not the case now. Even when I was thinner I wasn't that much of a success in life, or with the opposite sex, so I'm just enjoying what life offers me to enjoy." To me, it's the same situation. They are free to choose whatever path they wish, but if it's an unhealthy path, the people who love them are going to get frustrated and angry at their choices. You are doing the same thing emotionally. Instead of going on a love diet, and getting emotionally healthy and learning to love yourself enough to prefer being alone to being with people who don't respect you, you are opting for the much easier, more instantly gratifying but ulitmately very unhealthy choice of stuffing yourself with emotional food that is very unhealthy for you, hanging around men who don't respect you like a love sick puppy dog begging for scraps. The damage you are doing to your own self esteem and sense of self worth will get to a point one day where it will be almost impossible to reverse, if it hasn't gotten there already. You are not demanding better from your life probably because on some level you don't think you deserve any better. What you are really saying is "I'm not the girl men fall in love with. I'm the girl men just want to have sex with for a while, I'm just the girl they want to use. But that's better than being alone, so I'll take it." That's a choice you're free to make, but it's a rather unhealthy, dysfunctional one, because as long as you don't believe you deserve any better, you'll never get any better.



Quote:
Originally Posted by lindsjean View Post
on a side note: i met up with my ex ex over the past weekend and had a really good time with him...that is another "it is what is it" type situation and to be honest(once again) i am just going with the flow of life.
Well, not really. You are settling and refusing to take a proactive role in your life, which may feel and look a lot like going with the flow, but it's a different thing. Again, instead of skipping the pizza (the ex ex), and going for a salad and a piece of chicken, the pizza is right there, and it takes no work to get it, and it tastes good and fills you up in a way the salad and chicken won't in that instant. But in the long run, you stay stuck in an unhealthy frame of mind, and contiue to make unhealthy choices instead of depriving yourself of some bad stuff that may be tasty for the moment but are unhealthy, and getting yourself fit. Getting fit and skipping the pizza will be harder, will take more work, more commitment on your part, but the pay off would be much greater. You just aren't willing to do the work.


Quote:
Originally Posted by lindsjean View Post
...it is okay for her to tell me about the drama between her and her ex but when i start talking about my ex, it i not okay ???

Well, number one, it depends on what kind of drama. It is drama she creates for herself, like your drama, or is it something else? If she is also making unhealthy choices, perhaps it isn't fair of her to judge you so harshly while making the same bad choices, but everyone falls off the wagon every now and again. Just because you are guilty of making bad choices doesn't necessarily mean you don't have the right to call someone else out on their bad choices. That's the whole idea behind AA. The group session leaders and the sponsors are all recovering alcoholics, they have all been there. Their philosophy is only someone who has been there can help someone else out of it. And just because a sponsor falls off the wagon, doesn't mean he can't be a sponsor ever again.

I hoep you see what I mean with all the analogies. The bottom line is, it's your life and you have the right to live it the way you want, generally speaking, but you are making very unhealthy choices that will hurt your self esteem, your self image, and you will get in the way of you ever finding a really nice guy who will actually treat you well. Is it ok to hurt yourself and be self destructive? Well, yes, I guess it is. But the people who really care about you will not want to see you do it.

Last edited by Larrylou'smom; 04-23-2009 at 08:08 AM.

 
Old 04-23-2009, 08:27 AM   #7
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Re: is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

All of us are here on this board because perhaps we've made bad choices, made mistakes in relationships, chosen the wrong partner, been dumped, been cheated on...so does that mean we shouldn't be giving advice? Like LLM said, only those who have been there are truly capable of understanding and helping.

I have made some very bad choices in relationships. But I'd rather hear advice from someone like me, someone who's been there, instead of the friend who's been happily married for 20 years and never had to deal with any of these kind of issues. Kind of like a priest giving marriage advice!

And I don't think for one minute you are totally "ok with it". Because you are spending time with these men because you need male attention and you hate to be alone. Not because they are giving you what you need. That's certainly understandable, but not healthy.

What is wrong with taking time off from men and getting yourself healthy? And figuring out what YOU really want from life? How do you see yourself in 10 years? Still getting together for casual sex with your 2 exes? I hope not!

 
Old 04-23-2009, 09:26 AM   #8
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Re: is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

lets call a spade a spade......

you're not OK with it.....

you're settling for it......

stop accepting whatever scraps are being tossed your way and stop letting people wipe their feet on you.....

 
Old 04-23-2009, 12:48 PM   #9
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Re: is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

The dog guy is not into you for anything maybe a roll in the hay if he hits a dry spell. Maybe because he knows you like him he figures you will do things for him and be a backup. DROP HIM!

The whole ex thing I never understand. He is an ex for a reason so why even communicate with him? Why rehash this?

SO many good man out there looking for someone, IMO leave the past in the past.

Last edited by BCboy; 04-23-2009 at 02:18 PM. Reason: typo

 
Old 04-23-2009, 07:50 PM   #10
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Re: is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

hi all. well first of all thank you all for replying. i must say your responses were a no bull response and it was hard to take at first but then i starting thinking about it...

after a day of thinking and coming to a couple of conclusions i realized that i am the only one in the bubble thinking that nothing is wrong with the situation. like someone said if we call a spade a spade i should acknowledge that i am fooling myself by thinking i am okay with the situation.

here is what i did (God it was HARD as hell): i went over to his house this afternoon to drop his dog off...he noticed something was wrong and asked me what was wrong. well i told him (very politely) that i am interested in a relationship and while i know that can't happen right off the bat, i am interested in having something with someone that might develop into a relationship. long story short he told me that i need to do what is best for me (so he was rejecting me)...he said he is not interested in the same thing and he wishes the best for me....(on a side note he was really polite when he said all of what he had to say)

anyways i am hurt.

it is not JUST the rejection from him, but the rejection from past situations and the fear that i am actually not as strong as i think i am. so yeah maybe i was able to say all of what i said to him, but i don't have faith in myself that in a week i won't try and manipulate my way back into his bed.

also while i was at his place my eyes started to fill with tears....he asked me if i needed some time to think(about us being friends). i said yes. he said "go home, think about it and call me later". i told him "no" b/c i wasn't thinking about us being friends, i am thinking about finding happiness for myself. i told him that it isn't a good idea that we are friends b/c we have already slept together and i know me and i am going to want more. he said ok.

i hate this part! i don't want to see him b/c i am afraid that i won't be able to control my emotions. also i know what time he goes to work, what time he gets off, what time he goes to the gym, etc etc. i am afraid in a week or so i will suddenly appear at the gym during his workout b/c i just HAD to see him. God i am sooo messed up!

 
Old 04-24-2009, 04:58 AM   #11
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Re: is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

It's time to stop chasing him. You're chasing him, you're chasing the ex ex, and who is chasing you? Nobody. Why? Because you're too busy chasing after these two dorks. How many years have you wasted on all of this? Even just one year is too many. If it's more than that, then I feel sorry for throwing away so much of your life on a worthless purpose that has gotten you nowhere.

At some point you have to stop and say it's enough. And you have to decide that you will not accept or put up with this kind of half-assed friendship with benefits that is all you've been getting. If you want a real relationship that is healthy and normal and lasting then you have to find it elsewhere. Neither one of these guys is going to ever give that to you. I know you already know that, you're just too afraid to be alone to find the right guy.

I'm not saying that being on your own isn't hard. I know it's hard! I've been on my own a long time, myself! But I've learned so much about myself during this time! I've realized a whole new variety of things that I enjoy doing on my own time that I never would have considered back when I was stuck in a relationship with someone. And I love being self sufficient and self supporting because it makes me realize that I don't necessarily "need" someone taking care of me. I like that power because it feels great.

You just need to stop this. Stop calling them or going to see them and delete them from every aspect of your life. Stop being afraid to go out there and actually live your life. What you're doing is not living your life, it's still doing what you've always done. Don't be so surprised that you're still miserable. Until you actually make a change for real where you actually cut them off, you've not moved on. Time to move on! Stop wasting your time and wasting your life. Otherwise, next thing you know, you'll wake up and be 40 and still walking that loser's dog and accepting scraps from the ex ex wondering why your life sucks so bad.

 
Old 04-24-2009, 06:18 AM   #12
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Re: is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

I think you did the right thing, linds. I know it hurts like all getout. But the simple truth of life is that you get what you settle for. And as long as you settled for the scraps these guys were giving you, you'd never get anything more. Hang tough. Now's the time you need to be a good friend to yourself.

 
Old 04-24-2009, 09:23 AM   #13
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Re: is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

Its good you had this conversation with him now you know the truth, you need to look deep within yourself now and make a mends about this realtionship and move on with your life, sure there will be times of emotions, and you will proably boo hoo a lot thats fine do that if you have to but the thing is you need to get over this guy and be happy with you
move on with your life.
get out don't just sit and dwell, get out and enjoy your life meet others meet a lot of guys and gals, do the things that you always wanted to do.
try to make yourself be happy no don't try JUST DO IT.

 
Old 04-24-2009, 09:38 AM   #14
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Re: is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

What does your therapist have to say about you having casual sex encounters with your two exes? Does he/she think this is healthy? Or have you concealed this from your therapist?

Why would you try to get back into his bed when you've told him you don't want to be just a casual bed partner, and he said he's not interested in a relationship with you? Is it just because you cannot stand to be alone and without male attention, so you will damage yourself just to get some?

 
Old 04-26-2009, 01:49 PM   #15
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Re: is it wrong if i am okay with the situation???

Quote:
Originally Posted by lindsjean View Post
hi all. well first of all thank you all for replying. i must say your responses were a no bull response and it was hard to take at first but then i starting thinking about it...

after a day of thinking and coming to a couple of conclusions i realized that i am the only one in the bubble thinking that nothing is wrong with the situation. like someone said if we call a spade a spade i should acknowledge that i am fooling myself by thinking i am okay with the situation.

here is what i did (God it was HARD as hell): i went over to his house this afternoon to drop his dog off...he noticed something was wrong and asked me what was wrong. well i told him (very politely) that i am interested in a relationship and while i know that can't happen right off the bat, i am interested in having something with someone that might develop into a relationship. long story short he told me that i need to do what is best for me (so he was rejecting me)...he said he is not interested in the same thing and he wishes the best for me....(on a side note he was really polite when he said all of what he had to say)

anyways i am hurt.

it is not JUST the rejection from him, but the rejection from past situations and the fear that i am actually not as strong as i think i am. so yeah maybe i was able to say all of what i said to him, but i don't have faith in myself that in a week i won't try and manipulate my way back into his bed.

also while i was at his place my eyes started to fill with tears....he asked me if i needed some time to think(about us being friends). i said yes. he said "go home, think about it and call me later". i told him "no" b/c i wasn't thinking about us being friends, i am thinking about finding happiness for myself. i told him that it isn't a good idea that we are friends b/c we have already slept together and i know me and i am going to want more. he said ok.

i hate this part! i don't want to see him b/c i am afraid that i won't be able to control my emotions. also i know what time he goes to work, what time he gets off, what time he goes to the gym, etc etc. i am afraid in a week or so i will suddenly appear at the gym during his workout b/c i just HAD to see him. God i am sooo messed up!
In my first post I was more concerned about the rude and ambiguous comments from your neighbour and I tended to look at your connection with your ex with a certain permissiveness or innocence, for I was assuming there were no hidden agendas. But in fact there were.

So I also think that you have done the right thing. Sex is great and perhaps even essential for a healthy life, but it can be disastrous if not used:

a) in a familial context, that is, strengthening a bond between partners);
b) for procreation;
or c) for occasional sexual relief, as long as both adult partners are aware of this, don't want anything beyond this, and take cautionary measures. In this particular case, self-love is a viable option, too, in my opinion.

If you were not using sex in one of these three contexts, you could be misusing sex.

See if you can track down this book: The sexual life of Catherine Millet. See how it impacts your views.

And make sure that there are other things that are even more important than sex: Your work or family or health. Make one of these or the three of them the centre of your life, and don't look back now. Actually, don't look back for a long while now.

 
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