Back in December I moved out of the townhouse I rented with my boyfriend of 2 years and into my own apartment. Needless to say, we broke up over it and he went on to purchase his own house.
Its since been a few months and I miss my boyfriend tremendously. We got together a month ago and he said he'd love it if I moved in with him and we gave things another shot.
However, even though its expensive, I love my apartment. I live alone with my 2 cats and its wonderful.
I miss him but there were a number of things that weren't working in our relationship. He had weak communication with my parents and family - this caused some problems. We argued over money even though we never even shared a checking account. On top of it, we were living in an area that he grew up in and our entire social calendar was dominated by his friends (whom he's had since he was in grade school!). I'm much more independent and somewhat of a loner so constantly having to do things with other couples and groups was not of interest to me.
I guess my question is - is it worth giving up my freedom and a life I enjoy to be with someone I love? I have a feeling that if I moved in with him, I would miss my apartment and neighborhood (I'm much closer to MY family, friends and job in the new place).
If you are even asking this question, then you are probably not ready to move in with him. Many relationships work much better if each person has all the independence they need; some, like you, need more than others. Do not give it up until you are really sure that this is what you want. There is no hurry about this. Sera.
Why do you HAVE to move in with him? Why can't you still see him, have a relationship with him, without moving in? Is this some kind of requirement he gave...that he won't see you unless you move in?
I'd say keep your apartment and date him. I can't understand why it has to be one or the other.
Yes, he claims that I would need to move in for us to work on things. He's not willing to just date and give me space.
Which leads me to think he's not the one for me. If he was, he'd give me time to do my own thing.
I should mention that trust isn't an issue. Neither one of us has cheated ever (well, I know I haven't for sure...you can never be positive about the other person I guess) so its not like that's a factor.
So he gets to make the rules? Either you move in with him or forget it???
Let me tell you about my story...the guy I was dating years ago told me that he wanted to get married. I was only 20 years old and wanted to wait a few years. He told me that if I didn't agree to get engaged, and marry him within a year, he'd break up with me. Well, I didn't want to break up, so I married him. 12 years later, we are putting our young son through our divorce because we were in no way suited to be living together, let alone married. Our marital problems started 3 months after the wedding.
So, don't go against your gut. This guy sounds a little controlling. And I know, you probably think it's not being controlling, it's just that he loves you so much that he wants you with him all the time. Does he even hear what you're saying when you say you like having your own place? Well, you'd be giving up all you want right now in life to be with him and do what HE wants. Do you truly want that?