I've got a neighbor who bangs at all hours of the day and night. She does this in various repetitive rhythms sometimes moderate, sometimes extremely loud. This has been going on for about 5 years that I know of. At first, I thought it was a pipe problem but over the last year, her behaviour has escalated to common areas.
She now bangs inside and ouside of her home, comes out wearing some home made mask becuase of dust and her need to clean at 3, 4 and 5am.
I have talked to her about this and explained to her that she was disrupting other tenants and that some had complained of anxiety and the inability to sleep and work consistently. After explaining some of the effects of her behavior, she explained that it wasn't her banging and that if it was, she was only responding to someone else's banging.
She then got very angry and began to swear and call other tenants names. I found it odd that a few of the people she cursed were children/youth. She seemed to lack the ability to differentiate between and adult and a child.
I've witnessed a few of her verbal assaults and the worst one was towards a teenager coming down the stairs that she claimed was making too much noise.
Every known professional organization has been contacted about this woman and the only solution they can figure is to evict her. She also has a 13 year old daughter who, seems to think that her mom's behaviour is normal.
What's going on with this woman and what might my next step be?
Sounds like she has a compulsive disorder causing the cleaning events, combined with one or more identitity or personality issues.
The 13 year old daughter has been raised and conditioned by the activities of the mother, so does consider them normal for mom. She also will defend her mom's actions, since she may be her mother's caregiver. Also she is old enough to know if her mother did have a problem and was removed, then she may not have a place to go.
If you want to get involved, then you might ask if mom is supposed to be medicated. Then has she been taking them properly. The daughter may or may not know.
If you are the landlord, from a business stand point, you need to send the person who signed the lease and the mother a written warning. Your duties have to be to all of the tenants.
It's also possible that she could have some form of bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder.
The reason I mention bipolar is due to her cleaning sprees at 3-5am (which is indicative of mania) as well as her anger/lashing out at others (which can also be a sign of mania or depression).
Borderline is also a possibility given her intense anger and inability to comply with requests that she cease her behavior.
The only solution is to have her evicted. Some leases have stipulations which say that noise levels must be brought to a minimum between 10pm and 7am. If her lease has that addendum, she is in violation and can be evicted as a result.
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN
Last edited by dreams in neon; 04-26-2009 at 10:58 PM.
Tenants needs to put pressure on the landlord to terminate her lease...and it makes you wonder why that hasn't been done by now. Perhaps if it had been done long ago there might of been a chance this daughter could of grown up knowing a healthier person in a different environment. There is no point in confronting this women she obviously doesn't always take her medications. Then there is always the police. if the landlord won't evict then it is time to start calling the police and they will get tired of it in short order and make the landlord evict her. But you just don't know what her state of mind is so I would not confront her. goodluck.
The woman's history was indicative of no formal mental health support. I suspect that she was always a little 'off' but the stigma attached to mental health in some communities exacerbates some of the barriers to accessing mental health supports. She's lived quite an isolated life. She was picked on as a child, had little or no education and seemed to have no discretion when it came to children when she was speaking. She has no friends and sees her mother from time to time. Apparently the mother doesn't fully understand what is going on and just finds her daughter to be 'strange'. It's hard to see the extent of this woman's delusions by just seeing her one or two times a month for a few hours.
She had a rabbit she would let out for a walk in the hallways from time to time, come out of her house wearing these home masks that fit around your nose and mouth and go from being very nice to swearing about something inappropriately (flaring her arms and all). Her demeanor was kind of agitated and wild at all times.
I started receiving pieces of paper on my door as a threat. She would take the newpapers, write something on them, then stick them on my door. I stuck the paper back on her door and so the immature back and forth continued.
Either way, before I moved I was selling and giving away a bunch of things I couldn't take with me and she showed interest in a desk for her daughter. I hung onto it for her only to find out she had changed her mind but hadn't gotten around to knocking on my door (across from her) during any one of her excusions outside of her house day and night. She finally let me know and I was fine with it. There was no reason to think I would not be able to sell the desk.
Apparently child protective services was called on her and I gather it was the people living upstairs or beside her that knew her longer than I did. And, one of the neighbors would do something like that in my opinion. She was convinced it was me that called, and then made a call herself to me.
The list of alleged offenses was about 32. I counted them with the worker. I also saw the chop job she did on my name. The woman can't spell simple words. She would leave vulgar messages on the common walls about thing she didn't like that made that clear.
I regret that my child had to sit there and listen to the 32 allegations against me. She knew it wasn't true but it still hurt her that someone would say such things. I also regret that this neighbour, like most people in the community knew about my community involvement over the years and everyone knew what profession I was in. At least the CPS had the decency to send me a letter to set up a 'meeting' instead of showing up unannounced. They knew the call against me was out of spite just based on the list of allegations that seemed to even contradict each other.
What a price to pay.
The Child protective services let me know that she too was in a similar situation and that she too had to move out because there wasn't much that could be done about this woman's obvious need for a psychiatric intervention.
OK here's something to think about...maybe it isn't her making the noise? I had a neighbor constantly accuse me and my husband of making noises at all hours of the night and day. I have no idea what she was hearing but it was not US! Apartments are weird, you can't figure out where noises come from. Plus the pipes were very noisy in the building we lived it. It was like living in a nightmare constantly being accused of making these noises when all we were doing were sleeping when she would claim to hear noises!
My posts are just my opinion only and are not of a professional nature.
In my case, I had 5 years to figure out where the banging was coming from.
It became easier to distinguish because she started banging her door from the inside and then she would bang it before she went back in during the night.
I'm sure with all of my complaining some people thought I was hearing things myself lol. But no, at the most, I'm hypersensitive to sound. Over the years, the noise irritated my guests who eventually stopped coming by.
I can hear the banging coming out of her unit. It's not the people upstairs. It couldn't' be because they floor above our apartments is only a foyer with stairs going up to another floor. We don't get noise from above in the building.
SocialWorks...Hi, i'm sorry that you had to go through all of the aggravation of that situation. I too, can relate because a few years back i lived in a condo & there were other condos all around me. It was a complex. Well the woman that lived upstairs from me suffered from Bipolar & what she called "manic" stages. At the time i had no clue what this was & had never had to deal with any kind of mental disorders/disabilities, not sure what to call it & i dont want to offend anybody here. Well, this woman behaved in some really strange ways. Other times she would appear perfectly normal. I never understood it but i did try my best to be her friend. I always heard strange noises coming from her condo too. Not even sure what those noises were except it did sound like she was banging & possibly moving her furniture around, sometimes as early as 2-3a.m.! She also had a really bad habit of turning on ALL of her water faucets & leaving them running until the place flooded! Thank God i was not directly below her. On several occassions i would go out to the dumpster at night around 9-10p.m. to throw out my trash & i would find her sneaking around out in the parkinglot! As soon as she would see or hear me or anybody else coming she would duck & hide behind cars out in the parkinglot. She was most always only dressed in her robe or nightgown while outside sneaking & ducking around. A few times i approached her & asked her if she was ok & she would just have this strange "deer caught in the headlights" look in her eyes. I always tried to convince her to go back inside her condo but she rarely listened to me. A few times i had been ivited into her condo by her & she would often talk about things that i had absolutely no idea what she was talking about so i just nodded my head & just tried to be nice to her. I figured that she had some sort of "mental" thing going on. And then one day when she invited me into her condo she just started crying & telling me that her family was upset with her because she stopped taking her medications & that her family were trying to have her locked up somewhere. I didnt understand any of it but i felt sorry for her anyway so i just tried being her friend & let her cry on my shoulder that day. Well, the very next day my son & i were walking outside, getting ready to leave our condo when out of nowhere comes a hurling cast iron frying pan! It just missed hitting my son in his head! I look up & there is my neighbor just throwing stuff from her balcony! Well, needless to say i was done being nice to her! That frying pan could have killed my son had it whacked him in the head! I'm laughing now as i type this because well, it sounds funny lol but at the time it wasnt! So, of course i went off on her, yelling & screaming at her & letting her know that her "craziness" needed to stop! That exact same day her parents, who had came all the way from Texas, to Arizona to check on her because she stopped answering her telephone, were knocking on her condo door when i walked outside & they said hello to me & asked me if i had seen her & i said no, not since the frying pan ordeal lol well it was then that they had a long talk with me about their daughter's condition & how she always stops taking her medications & when this happens she "flips" out. Explains that frying pan! lol So anyhow her parents let themselves into her condo because she refused to open the door & when they stepped inside the whole floor was flooded! And the faucets were even still running! Everything was ruined! Water damaged. So, they had her hospitalized for about 2 weeks & she started back on her meds. Meanwhile her parents asked me if i would like to make some extra cash by cleaning the condo. I really didn't want to! But they had promised to pay me really good so i did it & it took a week! It was a mess! I just couldnt understand how somebody could do something so destructive to their own place but after that inccident i learned all about Bipolar/manic, etc & then i understood a little better. I kept trying to be her friend but about a year later she was hospitalized & her parents sold her condo. Her parents paid me to show her condo to whoever would come over that was interested in buying it. Long story, i know but i just wanted you to know that i can relate. Take care.