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Old 04-27-2009, 05:25 PM   #1
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Emotional affair

Does an emotional affair lead to physical in all situations???

 
Old 04-27-2009, 05:32 PM   #2
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Re: Emotional affair

I think more likely than not. I believe my ex-husband and his wife of 5 yrs (previously my best friend had an affair of the heart for many months) but obviously became much more intent as time went on. Better she is with him than me. I have someone that treats me so much nicer and now she has to deal with his ways. You know what they say, what goes around comes around. He now has cancer

 
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Old 04-28-2009, 08:56 AM   #3
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Re: Emotional affair

No, not every time. Are these two people in close contact with each other?

 
Old 04-28-2009, 09:03 AM   #4
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Re: Emotional affair

No, it doesn't. My ex-H had an emotional affair for about 6 years but it never led to physical because she didn't want it to. In her mind it wasn't an affair (I know her and know the details) but in his mind it was.

But it's still cheating in my opinion. Any time that your partner is sharing things with someone else that a reasonable person would expect to be shared with you (such as feelings, intimate thoughts, perhaps phone or internet s*x) and they are withholding something from you (feelings, intimate thoughts, intimacy), that is cheating in my opinion. I will never put up with it again.

If it is simply a friendship between two people of the opposite s*x, that is fine. I truly believe that men and women can be friends and mild flirting doesn't bother me. It's when a relationship suffers because one person has feelings for someone else and pursues them in any manner (mind or body) that I disagree with.

I don't think that this is coming across in words, but hopefully some of you will get what I'm saying.

 
Old 04-28-2009, 09:12 AM   #5
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Re: Emotional affair

Emotional comes from the heart..So where does a relationship start and end?....First you find the person physically attractive(in most cases), then you get to know the person, the more you talk w/ them the more you draw in, and boom your hooked(emotionally from the heart)......So yes, emotional can have many results, but as someone mentioned here that a male and female can be the best of friends and have a emotional impact on the other one.....Even friends get jealous of one another,.......

 
Old 04-28-2009, 04:31 PM   #6
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Re: Emotional affair

Thank everyone for responding, I really appreciate it. And yes, they are in very close contact, as they work together.

 
Old 05-01-2009, 12:52 PM   #7
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Re: Emotional affair

We don't know the possibilities it might lead to that.

 
Old 05-01-2009, 03:36 PM   #8
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Re: Emotional affair

In my personal opinion, an emotional affair is far worse than the phsyical. Emotions are of the heart and the other is just phsyical and may not mean anything, but just pure lust. Don't get me wrong, I think a psyical affair is a deal breaker too.

 
Old 05-01-2009, 04:04 PM   #9
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Re: Emotional affair

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Originally Posted by ctnc1234 View Post
In my personal opinion, an emotional affair is far worse than the phsyical. Emotions are of the heart and the other is just phsyical and may not mean anything, but just pure lust. Don't get me wrong, I think a psyical affair is a deal breaker too.

Absolutely, if my husband was in love with another woman regardless if there was intercourse...it would be history for us! I would never sit back and watch my husband carry on an emotional affair with another woman...no way no how!
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Old 05-02-2009, 05:15 AM   #10
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Re: Emotional affair

Yup, it's still cheating. If whoever is having the emotional affair can't speak to the other person about problems etc.. Then there clearly is no faith or confidence. But I would probably say it would lead to more than just feelings- I'd think it would depend on the time and the other person(the person who is outside of the initial relationship).

 
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Old 05-02-2009, 12:40 PM   #11
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Re: Emotional affair

Just my personal opinion, but I think emotional affairs are pretty harmless. There's no physical cheating involved; I mean, it's bad if you're a staunch Catholic since emotional affairs violate the ninth Commandment, but otherwise there's no harm in fantasizing about someone else. No matter how much you love and adore your partner, I feel it's healthy and normal to think about someone else occasionally. Besides, how would your partner know about it when it's all in your mind (and by "you", I mean in general, not you specifically)? Unless he's a psychic/mind-reader/medium/channeler/etc., in which case you might be in a bit of a mess.

Personally, I have had quite a few emotional affairs. I've had crushes on three or four male friends and it has not harmed my relationship or my opinion of my partner. One crush became my best friend and I trust him with my life, and he respects that I am very not single. And really, I think if there was a choice, one's partner would rather you (again, 'you' in general) have an emotional affair than a physical one. Last I checked, you can't get STDs or get pregnant from an affair in your mind.

 
Old 05-02-2009, 03:05 PM   #12
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Re: Emotional affair

Thx for all responding...see if this changes your opinion or not. Husband works closely with a female, she's been married for 10 yrs and has a child. Has admitted to him SHE has had affairs. He started confiding in her about my depression and problems at home (because he couldn't talk to me). This turned into phone calls and texting, so not just on the clock anymore. I pulled the phone records and confronted him. He confessed and said "emotional only" and was never physical "but could have been". He needed a friend and she was there. So now what? He can't quit his job (not in this economy), but admits they still talk at work only. No texting and no phone calls (I've looked). My trust for him is gone. Don't know what to do at this point.

 
Old 05-02-2009, 07:58 PM   #13
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Re: Emotional affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Stranger View Post
Just my personal opinion, but I think emotional affairs are pretty harmless. There's no physical cheating involved;
An emotional affair is not a fantasy. It's not when you think about someone else in your mind but they don't know about it. It is when two people carry on an "affair" with everything but actual relations involved. It can happen either over the Internet or in a personal setting. The two people typically start out flirting or maybe just talking about things in their lives, perhaps even as friends. It soon turns to them sharing things that they should be sharing with their spouse or partner. It can even very often lead to Internet s*x and in a personal relationship setting, can lead to the parties discussing what they would do if they could just be together, longing for each other, etc.

An emotional affair is extremely damaging to a relationship and causes dishonesty and distance between two people. It is something that you have to experience to truly understand.

 
Old 05-02-2009, 08:03 PM   #14
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Re: Emotional affair

Quote:
Originally Posted by tcp307 View Post
Thx for all responding...see if this changes your opinion or not. Husband works closely with a female, she's been married for 10 yrs and has a child. Has admitted to him SHE has had affairs. He started confiding in her about my depression and problems at home (because he couldn't talk to me). This turned into phone calls and texting, so not just on the clock anymore. I pulled the phone records and confronted him. He confessed and said "emotional only" and was never physical "but could have been". He needed a friend and she was there. So now what? He can't quit his job (not in this economy), but admits they still talk at work only. No texting and no phone calls (I've looked). My trust for him is gone. Don't know what to do at this point.
This does not have to end your marriage. If you guys communicate about it, use it as a learning experience and talk, talk, talk . . . you can build a better marriage. But your husband must be honest with you about his side of this and you must be honest with him about how it makes you feel. You don't want to do this in a blaming or whining manner as it will just make him more defensive and cause hurt feelings. You can bet he is feeling guilty and torn up about what he did, and may even defend himself and say he didn't do anything wrong, etc. If he does this, it may be partly to convince himself of this, so don't blow up and take offense if he does. Just be clear with him that you want to save your marriage (if that's the truth) and that you want to talk honestly. It won't be done in one day, and you should not beat it to death over and over daily, but maybe set aside some times that you can talk about it, take a few days to process what was said, then talk some more. Try to get back to the good times and feelings that made you guys fall in love in the first place.

 
Old 05-02-2009, 08:25 PM   #15
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Re: Emotional affair

Thanks BigRed

 
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