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Old 05-16-2009, 02:17 PM   #1
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girlfriend driving me insane

2 days ago I accompanied my girlfriend downtown(takes an hour to get there, public transit) to a bar. We stayed there for an hour. I don't like going downtown because I dont like taking the subway and I'm short on money. I was supposed to go camping today but couldnt becasue of rain. She was going to a restaurant downtown with her friends tonight. I told her i really didnt want to go. Then she started getting all heated up telling me i never do anything with her(not true, ive gone to most if not all of her events in the past few months) and then she says shes tired of our relationship and that she thinks we need a break and that shes tired of me and that she hates me. so i drop her off at home, no kiss, no nothing. she sends me texts about how im an inconsiderate *** and how im mean. i explain that i cant do EVERYTHING with her and that she has to learn how to do things by herself sometimes. then a few hours pass an she texts me saying 'someone got raped a few days ago at the subway station, would be funny if that happened to me' obviously it wouldnt. i told her this and she replies with 'wtv not like you care'. like what the hell man. I didnt do anything to her. Shes been acting so irrational for weeks now. she was on a role today, trying to make me feel like ****, like the worst ive ever felt. at some point she tells me she isnt going anymore and that all i do is make her cry and make her unhappy. then an hour goes by, she sends me a text telling me she just hydroplaned on the highway and that she almost died and she says shes laughing and she thinks its funny. now she tells me shes at the subway station and she doesnt need me to be with her. shes acting manic right now. like nothing is bugging her, when before she was all depressed and angry at me. i dont know what her problem is but i nearly had a heart attack when she told me she was almost in an accident and she didnt care. she tells me now 'hope i dont get raped!' like its a big ******* joke.

I really am at wits end, i dont know what to do anymore. i cant just say no lets take a break because she might do something completely stupid and irrational like what shes doing tonight and it would be my fault. man im so lost as to what i should be doing with this girl right now. its like she enjoys stressing me out until i feel like im going to die or have a panic attack.

 
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Old 05-16-2009, 03:04 PM   #2
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Re: girlfriend driving me insane

Hope noone minds the double post, but now she is texting me telling me things like WOOHOO I AM SO HAPPY. and she isnt taking me seriously when i tell her to stop texting me because i really cant do this right now. shes taken away my appetite and i just feel more and more stressed. and she says things like aw your cute i love you, your grumpy, like what the hell is wrong with this girl? It's like she's having weird highs and lows in mood. It's been like this more and more. She'll be a total and complete cold ***** to me and a few hours later she's going to cry on my shoulder and tell me she doesnt know whats wrong and that she cant imagine her life without me when just an hour before she was saying she hates me and she doesnt see this relationship going anywhere. now she is acting like theres absolutely nothing wrong.

 
Old 05-16-2009, 03:17 PM   #3
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Re: girlfriend driving me insane

Have you considered that she might be bipolar? You should read up on it and see if her actions are pointing toward that.

If not, then she's just an attention-seeking immature little girl, and you need to not put up with it anymore. The whole thing about her telling you about the girl getting raped in the subway? She did that to scare you and to make you feel bad, because she wanted you to be all upset about it. Manipulation tactic. And I'll bet she probably DIDN'T hydroplane in her car, but she told you she did, because she is manipulating you.

She sounds really unstable and really immature. I don't know what to tell you. It sounds like you're done with her anyway, why not just take her up on her offer to take a break and see how much less stress you can have in your life without her being so annoying towards you?

Last edited by Tivo123; 05-16-2009 at 03:18 PM.

 
Old 05-17-2009, 12:07 PM   #4
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Re: girlfriend driving me insane

Get away from this girl and do it fast. This is a preview of what your life would be like were you to stay with her.

She is playing games with your head to get her way, and what are you doing? Playing along....you are worried that if you take her up on the break thing that she will do something stupid and it would be your fault. First, if she does something stupid, it's her own fault...as you cannot take credit for her good side, you can also not be responsible for her bad. Then, while you are worrying...she is causing you to be sick. You can't eat, and she won't leave you alone no matter how much you beg her because she has no consideration for you or your feelings.

This is not how things should be. This is an unhealthy relationship for you. Break the ties, and tell her to get help. If you can't walk away from her, then get yourself some help, because if you stay you will be in therapy for the long run.

Good Luck
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Old 05-18-2009, 09:41 AM   #5
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Re: girlfriend driving me insane

This girl is the definition of the word manipulation

look manipulation up in the dictionary......I bet you'll find her picture.


 
Old 05-18-2009, 10:57 AM   #6
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Re: girlfriend driving me insane

She is playing a toxic game of "Come closer so I can slap you". (Whatever floats your boat....) being the slappee is not nearly as much fun as you are finding out. Sera.

 
Old 05-18-2009, 09:57 PM   #7
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Re: girlfriend driving me insane

everything is fine now. she came over after that incident and apologized and told me she didnt know what was wrong with her. And no, she is not bi-polar. i'm a psychology major and I know for a fact that she definately does not have that disease. She tells me that every girl has her days and her freak outs but I cant be sure about that. I mean, A LOT of girls get really intolerable and moody, especially during their periods, and my girlfriend had just started her period that day and she told me she got really angry for no reason.

she told me she would try really hard to not do that again so i'll see. Nothing else is going bad with her, she was really sweet today. she just gets moody when shes tired, hungry, cold, warm. It's like if she steps out of her comfort zone, she sort of loses it. I don't know why she does that.

 
Old 05-19-2009, 05:20 AM   #8
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Re: girlfriend driving me insane

You said she was acting manic. You're studying psych, you wouldn't have used that terminology unless you suspected something was up.

I still say she made up the thing about hydroplaning. Honestly, everything you posted about her makes her sound totally schizo, I'm finding it really hard to believe she's as great as you claim now that she is. That kind of behavior is neither sweet nor caring. You made it sound like she does this kind of thing often. Go ahead and make excuses if you want but she sounds weird and I'd be leery of any future meltdowns like this if I were you.

 
Old 05-19-2009, 06:42 AM   #9
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Re: girlfriend driving me insane

if you are studying a psych major then you will realise this is not normal behaviour. also stop making excuses for her. she should be an adult and be accountable for her actions, not making up childish excuses. most women on these boards get periods and we arent joking about what if our partners got raped. that is very sad. its in fact disgusting. people out there have been raped for real, maybe even a few on these boards have experienced something like that and im sure they can tell you how disgusting a joke like that is. its not laughable at all. i wouldnt have second thoughts about dumping someone that said something so horrible. to me its unforgivable. i think you should find yourself a real women and stop going out with children. trust me, you will be much happier in life.

Last edited by shorti; 05-19-2009 at 06:44 AM.

 
Old 05-19-2009, 06:59 AM   #10
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Re: girlfriend driving me insane

Quote:
Originally Posted by waterworks View Post
everything is fine now. she came over after that incident and apologized and told me she didnt know what was wrong with her. And no, she is not bi-polar. i'm a psychology major and I know for a fact that she definately does not have that disease. She tells me that every girl has her days and her freak outs but I cant be sure about that. I mean, A LOT of girls get really intolerable and moody, especially during their periods, and my girlfriend had just started her period that day and she told me she got really angry for no reason.

she told me she would try really hard to not do that again so i'll see. Nothing else is going bad with her, she was really sweet today. she just gets moody when shes tired, hungry, cold, warm. It's like if she steps out of her comfort zone, she sort of loses it. I don't know why she does that.
yeah ok....if you're a psychology major then you know a little about BPD, borderline personality disorder.......it sounds like one or the other, BPD or bi-polar. This doesn't have anything to do with her period.

 
Old 05-19-2009, 07:25 AM   #11
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Re: girlfriend driving me insane

Well there are two sides to every story as I see so often....You feel you have done everything but die for her by the sounds of it....Well, most women here should know this, how many times have men about drove us crazy, then mixed w/ our period spells explosion, how many times have us women complained our men are not caring, affectionate, not interested or care about the things we like, etc?.....Sometimes we perceive our self as this great caring affectionate person, but others perceive us as totally different at times in our live, so maybe what you see yourself as she might not be seeing the same...So maybe you might want to just come right out and ask her what is her complaint?.......Obviously she is trying to get your attention w/ using such horrific stories as she is using, so instead of playing along and responding or not responding as she wishes, just ask her straight up....What is going on?

As far as bi-polar, personality disorder...I have not yet met a person that does not have mood swings, and I am a female and I will admit most of my female friends are moody, but they are far from a medical issue...But, men have those mood swings as well, it is just blamed on women(LOL)....

Just be direct and ask he what he deal is....

 
Old 05-19-2009, 02:56 PM   #12
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Re: girlfriend driving me insane

You and your girlfriend sound young. Here is a piece of advice from an older guy--RUN! This chick sounds like a drama queen, needs constant approval, and is manipulative. Trust me you would be better off in the long run. Do not accept this behavior. She broke up with you, if I were you I would be totally fine with it and just not respond until some time passes then tell her its over.

Do you need this headache? Plenty of other women out there.

 
Old 05-19-2009, 05:53 PM   #13
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Re: girlfriend driving me insane

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Originally Posted by Hollaatchaboy View Post
You and your girlfriend sound young. Here is a piece of advice from an older guy--RUN! This chick sounds like a drama queen, needs constant approval, and is manipulative. Trust me you would be better off in the long run. Do not accept this behavior. She broke up with you, if I were you I would be totally fine with it and just not respond until some time passes then tell her its over.

Do you need this headache? Plenty of other women out there.

LOL..that was funny..."run"....Now advice from a older woman...Just stay single it is so much easier...LOL..besides running takes too much effort...lol

 
Old 05-19-2009, 07:30 PM   #14
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Re: girlfriend driving me insane

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Originally Posted by dolejaly View Post
LOL..that was funny..."run"....Now advice from a older woman...Just stay single it is so much easier...LOL..besides running takes too much effort...lol
He should be running in the opposite direction of that women despite the effort! Single gets old IMO I want loyal, loving women who thinks I'm it!

 
Old 05-20-2009, 04:59 AM   #15
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Re: girlfriend driving me insane

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hollaatchaboy View Post
He should be running in the opposite direction of that women despite the effort! Single gets old IMO I want loyal, loving women who thinks I'm it!

I'm confused....didn't somewhere in the post say they already broke up? Actually, this doesn't sound like it is something that happens all the time, but if everyone ran every time someone acts out of the norm as men say "drama queen"....the divorce rate would go up higher than it already is. I know they are not married, but courtship does take place first. I don't know one person in their life time that wasn't so upset w/ someone that they yelled out "I hate you" or anything later they felt really stupid about saying towards someone.....which I don't agree w/ anyone saying mean things even in anger, but it does happen....No one can be the perfect mate, and happy go lucky all the time, that does not exist. When I was married before I heard all the horror stories of his ex wife of 17 yrs and how unfaithful she was and verbally abusive, not a good mother and how he worked his butt off and all he did was work and come home...Sounds like a mean woman to me, and a great husband, but then I also got to hear her version down the road after a bit, also living her life as she did, but I will not waste 17 yrs of my life being mistreated 80% of the time....He emotional hurt her, he deprived her of any affection, made her feel as if she was there to attend to his needs, he was perfect and although he was lucky to even know his kids names she dedicated her life to him and the kids....But, to this day he feels she was the monster. So as I stated in my first post that, he may feel he is this great guy to her, but maybe she doesn't see where as you say loyal, affectionate, etc towards her and she goes over the deep end and acts up in hopes to get the attention she feels she is not getting. She needs to come out straight w/ him, if she has a problem or complaint she should say lets talk this is bothering me, etc....

She could be a nut case,I'm not saying she's not, I don't know her... there are many out there that are, but I also see on both sides where men and women can push buttons that we didn't even think we had....We have done something so off the wall in our relationships because of it that we feel embarrassed to even allow someone to push us that far....So I still say he should directly come at her and ask whats your deal, be blunt and to the point. No games, no beating around the bush, no nothing, just direct communication. If nothing comes from that then walk away and seek elsewhere for someone he can relate to better.....As it was expressed here on how he felt when she said and done things that hurt his feelings maybe telling her would get more of a solution....

 
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