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Old 06-29-2009, 04:08 AM   #1
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Unhappy Boyfriend keeps touching me

I really hope someone can help me with this. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, Iím 29 and heís 35. I love him to bits but he is constantly touching me and itís really getting on my nerves.

As soon as he arrives at my house he starts tugging at my clothes, unclips my bra and grabs my breasts. Not only is it really frustrating but my clothes are getting ruined from constantly being pulled about. When weíre in the car he touches me, even if Iím driving. If he gets a chance to sneakily touch me when weíre out shopping, he will. If we go for a walk somewhere heíll touch me if he thinks nobody is watching or he'll try to drag me into a secluded area to touch me.

I can't even watch a DVD or TV with him without him trying to grab my breasts, bum or other intimate areas.

Itís actually starting to have an effect on our sex life. By the end of the day I feel so frustrated at having to have fought him off for hours, I canít bear for him to touch me anymore.

I know it sounds ridiculous but itís really getting me down. I have spoken to him about it but he just says that Iím broken and frigid.

Is this normal behaviour? I really donít know if Iím just overreacting.

 
Old 06-29-2009, 06:19 AM   #2
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Re: Boyfriend keeps touching me

Quote:
Originally Posted by MinkyMoo View Post
...

Is this normal behaviour? I really donít know if Iím just overreacting.
Whose behaviour? Yours or his?

If his, no, I don't think it is normal, because you have already told him to stop. He is not listening to you and respecting you. He is being as it were "violent." Maybe he should learn a bit more about women before telling them they are frigid etc. He should know that intimacy with a woman is in most cases gradual. A woman is not available all the time, in most cases.

If yours, I can't say you are overreacting or not. Possibly not. My idea is that you want a different kind of approach from him, not only physical, but also verbal. Maybe there is no dialogue between the two of you at this point of your relationship. No feedback, right? This is so important for a woman, for all I know.

 
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Old 06-29-2009, 09:13 AM   #3
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Re: Boyfriend keeps touching me

The guy wants intimacy but he's obviously going about it the wrong way and is perhaps a little dense not to have noticed that yet. If you've been reasonably direct with him, be even more direct with him that him constantly touching you doesn't make you frigid it just makes HIM a pest.

It could be that he used to be like this to a much lesser extent but when things were fresh perhaps you'd think it was more fun and rise to it a bit more. Perhaps he's trying to inject some fun into things but unfortunately he maybe doesn't have much else in his repertoire so he's just doing it more and expecting it to work at some point!

Ask him why he keeps doing it, then maybe you can help him find another way to express his affections beyond a constant grope-o-rama. If it's got to the point of damaging clothes then that's a pretty constant annoyance!

 
Old 06-29-2009, 11:29 AM   #4
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Re: Boyfriend keeps touching me

I had one of those! You're totally right it's really annoying! You get to start feeling like a piece of meat instead of a person.

What I did didn't work either. He would constantly grab my chest and I would tell him it doesn't turn me on, it makes me want to tazer the loser!

He has been my ex for 7 years. It' a serious show of disrespect for him to not listen to you. He is showing you that your feelings don't matter and furthermore he is twisting it around to make it your fault by calling you frigid.

This guy is a pig and you should ditch him because he sounds like an immature disrespectful pile of monkey goo. You need to assert yourself and don't settle for being treated like this from anyone!

 
Old 06-29-2009, 11:59 AM   #5
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Re: Boyfriend keeps touching me

That would really creep me out! I think he'd get the hint when I slapped the fire out of him the first time...HAHA! OH and BTW there's nothing frigid about me...just ask my hubby!
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Last edited by BeaTrade; 06-29-2009 at 01:51 PM.

 
Old 06-29-2009, 12:32 PM   #6
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Re: Boyfriend keeps touching me

Quote:
Originally Posted by MinkyMoo View Post
I really hope someone can help me with this. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, Iím 29 and heís 35. I love him to bits but he is constantly touching me and itís really getting on my nerves.

As soon as he arrives at my house he starts tugging at my clothes, unclips my bra and grabs my breasts. Not only is it really frustrating but my clothes are getting ruined from constantly being pulled about. When weíre in the car he touches me, even if Iím driving. If he gets a chance to sneakily touch me when weíre out shopping, he will. If we go for a walk somewhere heíll touch me if he thinks nobody is watching or he'll try to drag me into a secluded area to touch me.

I can't even watch a DVD or TV with him without him trying to grab my breasts, bum or other intimate areas.

Itís actually starting to have an effect on our sex life. By the end of the day I feel so frustrated at having to have fought him off for hours, I canít bear for him to touch me anymore.

I know it sounds ridiculous but itís really getting me down. I have spoken to him about it but he just says that Iím broken and frigid.

Is this normal behaviour? I really donít know if Iím just overreacting.
well, since we cant observe this behavior, but by your account its very hard to say which and what is normal.. I can tell you with certain confidence this is not something that can and will be resolved to sufficiently satisfy both ofyou for a long-term relations.. cut your loses and run.... its just not going to work - u too are both too different ; he needs to find someone who likes that kinda thing .. that is all.

 
Old 06-29-2009, 01:43 PM   #7
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Re: Boyfriend keeps touching me

I dated a guy like that too!! It was the most annoying thing in the world, and the biggest turn off. Seriously, we would be driving and all of a sudden, the guy would just start groping my chest as if this were going to do something for me! And when I broached the subject with him, he acted as if I were abnormal for not enjoying this. I am not sure if some guys just don't understand that it isn't pleasant to just be the recipient of random groping, or if this is their way of asserting ownership or what, but no, in my opinion, that sort of behavior is NOT normal.

 
Old 06-29-2009, 02:19 PM   #8
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Re: Boyfriend keeps touching me

Not all of us are creeps for doing so. I playfully grope my wife from time to time, but we are having relationship problems. Difference is, she hasn't been assertive and told me to stop and Im not doing it to arouse her. Im just being playfull.

After reading some of your posts I assume that my playfullness could be a problem that she just hasn't voiced her opinion on.

Thanks for the insight.

 
Old 06-29-2009, 04:26 PM   #9
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Re: Boyfriend keeps touching me

Ugh, yeah I know all about this too, what's with these guys? There's a difference between both people enjoying the playful touching and the guy just blatently crossing the line and doing it constantly after an opinion has been expressed by the woman that it's unacceptable. Your boyfriend has totally crossed the line and you need to tell him you're done with it. Tell him that you are no longer interested in him touching you at all unless he can do it in a loving and affectionate way.

 
Old 06-29-2009, 04:59 PM   #10
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Re: Boyfriend keeps touching me

You said..."I love him to bits"...why? he is rude, incentive, boorish, stupid, juvenile, disrespectful, and you have stayed with him for 5 long years. ...I would expect to hear that you called the police for being molested. But instead you have stayed with him five years. I'm sorry but you could do better and this isn't love it is just a grown man being a molester.

 
Old 06-29-2009, 10:45 PM   #11
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Re: Boyfriend keeps touching me

Thank you so much for all your replies. I'm going to talk to him about it again when I see him on Thursday.

I wonder if part of the problem is that we don't see each other very much? He has other interests that keeps him busy through the week (karate, kickboxing, guitar lessons) so we only see each other Thursday evenings, saturday evenings and Sunday until about 5pm.

Reading all your replies really has given me a bit more strength, so thank you all once again

 
Old 06-30-2009, 05:01 AM   #12
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Re: Boyfriend keeps touching me

Don't let him get away with it! If he is making you uncomfortable with his behavior, you need to tell him that. And if he refuses to stop doing it, then you need to tell him you are not going to put up with it anymore and that you're separating until he can learn not to treat you that way.

I'm afraid you're going to let him get off the hook too easily and he will keep doing it. Don't let that happen! You have a right to be comfortable in your relationship and not feel like you're just there to amuse his juvenile urges. Tell him how immature and rude he is being because otherwise I don't think he's going to get it. He doesn't sound all that bright.

 
Old 06-30-2009, 06:31 AM   #13
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Re: Boyfriend keeps touching me

He will stop it by the time he is in his eighties, or dead, whichever comes first.

 
Old 06-30-2009, 10:19 AM   #14
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Re: Boyfriend keeps touching me

Quote:
Originally Posted by MinkyMoo View Post
Thank you so much for all your replies. I'm going to talk to him about it again when I see him on Thursday.

I wonder if part of the problem is that we don't see each other very much? He has other interests that keeps him busy through the week (karate, kickboxing, guitar lessons) so we only see each other Thursday evenings, saturday evenings and Sunday until about 5pm.

Reading all your replies really has given me a bit more strength, so thank you all once again
Even soldiers who haven't seen their wives or girlfriends for months and months can refrain from fondling their intimate body parts until they have some privacy and implied consent, if they really love and have respect for their woman. Please don't dissuade yourself by letting your mind wander to the possibility that it has anything to do with not seeing you often enough. He just has no respect for you, pure and simple.

 
Old 06-30-2009, 01:45 PM   #15
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Re: Boyfriend keeps touching me

Are you telling him in a wishy washy way? Some men will keep doing things (the dense ones) unless you stand up for yourself which means not being sweet about it but being FIRM about it.

You're probably trying not to hurt his feelings when you tell him so it's probably being said in a "kind" way. Well, "kind" is over with because he isn't stopping.

Unless you're firm about this, which means if he does it again you get up and leave, then it won't change - he's showing you that with his actions.

He sounds thick as a brick. If you stay with this man you have to start sticking up for yourself in a big way - which means not being nice about it anymore.

 
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