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Old 10-13-2009, 09:41 AM   #1
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My mother still talks to my ex...

So my mom still talks to my ex gf on what I believe to be a regular basis. I'm a little upset about this bc I feel like she shouldn't be talking to her in the first place, and secondly, I believe my ex is only calling to try and gather info about me. I feel like it is none of my ex gf's business anymore and I want to separate myself from her as much as possible.

Should I be upset about this? I am. But I don't want to be irrational with my mother about this issue.

I told her I was not comfortable with the idea of them talking and she just told me they don't talk about me, that she only tells her if "I'm doing well" and "that I'm busy."

I know my mom likes to gossip so I have a feeling it may be a little more than she is letting on. She said "in my defense I only console her and try to help her realize that she will meet someone else in the future..."

I told her that my ex-gf has a family and friends to console her...she doesn't need her ex-boyfriends mother to do so as well!

I've already told my mother I'm not comfortable with it. She doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. Is it really not a big deal? What should I do?

 
Old 10-13-2009, 09:46 AM   #2
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Re: My mother still talks to my ex...

yes it is a big deal.....
how long were you with your ex?
they're both crossing boundries that they shouldn't be
personally your mother should know better......her loyalty should lie with you.

 
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Old 10-13-2009, 10:17 AM   #3
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Re: My mother still talks to my ex...

Well...my ex's entire family and group of friends still talk to me. I spend lots of time with his niece and sister, and his dad adores me. This guy totally betrayed me and his family, though, so that may be part of it. I thought about breaking contact, but they don't want to, and they tell me they'd be upset if I just disappeared.

Now, it doesn't sound at all like you did anything bad to your ex. It seems like it just didn't work out for the two of you and she's trying to hold on in some way. I've seen that many times and it really just makes the ex look kind of pathetic, to be honest. That's why I still consider breaking off contact...because I don't want to be viewed by anyone as the jilted ex who can't let go.

If it's a big deal to you, then yes, it is a big deal. And your mom should be supportive and respectful of your feelings. I would not and do not talk to my son's ex-girlfriend at all. He's my son, so he comes first with me. Period.
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Old 10-13-2009, 12:12 PM   #4
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Re: My mother still talks to my ex...

I was with the ex for about 4 years.

I thought I was fair in how I felt but I just didn't want to cause a stink about it.

I don't know why my mother wants to continue talking to my ex. She knows how the ex treated me...tried to control me, got jealous about stuff, complained all the time...in general made me an unhappy person.

Just don't get it.

 
Old 10-13-2009, 12:20 PM   #5
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Re: My mother still talks to my ex...

well your ex is manipulating your mother just like she manipulated you.
maybe your mother just doesn't realize it yet.....

 
Old 10-13-2009, 12:54 PM   #6
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Re: My mother still talks to my ex...

Yes and I believe she is doing it to try and get my mother to manipulate me into getting back with her.

 
Old 10-14-2009, 05:05 AM   #7
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Re: My mother still talks to my ex...

I agree that your mom should not be talking to her. I think many girls do this when they get dumped and it is so they can keep tabs on their ex. You need to have a frank talk with your mom about how this makes you feel

 
Old 10-14-2009, 10:00 AM   #8
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Re: My mother still talks to my ex...

I've seen this many times before. She is using your mother to get to you. She can't talk to you so she goes through your mother. You mother shouldn't be talking to her. Hopefully this girl will get over you and move on soon and she will stop calling your mother.

For a while after we broke up, my ex would call my parents, come by the house, he even went to see my mom at work. At first they were sympathetic toward him because they thought that we would probably end up getting back together but once they realized that I was serious and didn't want to see him or talk to him ever again, then they stoped talking to him as well.

My Mother-in-law used to communicate via e-mail with my husband's ex and that bothered me. She may still do it, but she doesn't tell me or him about it any longer.

My 19 year old nephew dated this girl for a few years. Nephew broke up with her and she was devastated. She called his mother and my mother (the grandmother) a whole bunch of times in the beginning. She would cry and cry and they would try to console her. I think that she just wanted to understand it, to make sense of why the love of her life would suddenly break up with her like that. After a while she stopped calling.

Just give it some time and it will probably blow over.

 
Old 10-14-2009, 06:48 PM   #9
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Re: My mother still talks to my ex...

It's tough b/c I know her heart is broken. I feel so bad for breaking up with her, knowing that it brought her so much pain.

I didn't have much of a choice. We were both unhappy. She started taking some sort of happy pills (anti depressant maybe?) after we broke up and she told me how much it helped her moods and said that I should give her another chance but I just can't do it. She said that me breaking up with her made her realise how mean she was being. I just keep going back to all the times she was so mean to me for no reason and can't help but think that will happen all over again if I were to take her back.

 
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