relationship problems - Relationship Health Message Board

tinymom05 · 10-20-2009, 04:21 PM

I have a question about relationships and attachment. This person i was seeing really seems to like me but then mentioned that they dont really connect with others and have attachement problems. This person continues to talk to me and seems to like me and mentioned that he likes me though but doesnt seem to be more then friends. This person gives me lots of affection so it is very confusing. The other problem is this person lives miles away too so i wasnt sure it would even work out. But i really like this person and we have considered moving in with each other but now it seems like this person is having problems with emotional connections and doesnt have a desire to be close to me or being more then friends. Does anyone know what this could be?

pendulum · 10-20-2009, 05:59 PM

Excuse me, but is that person a man? I'm assuming it is a man. Anyway, this man is really confounding and confusing you. I may be wrong, but it sounds quite strange for a man to say, in the early stages of a relationship, that he has issues with relationships and attachment. Men usually don't talk about these things, unless maybe you point it out to him. What I am reading between the lines is one of two possibilities: either he has a problem with his sexuality or he is married or engaged to someone else. A third possibility is that he only wants to have sex with you and is being very straightforward about it. This is very rare, so I wouldn't vouch for it. A fourth possibility is that he is playing hard to get. Also something unusual for a man.

Are you sure this man is - no offense intended, please - masculine enough?

On second thoughts, I am afraid he is giving you lame excuses so he won't commit himself. I have not a crystal ball, but I should think this man is making you waste your time. Even if you like him, this doesn't look like a promising relationship, if what you are after is a sound relationship.

tinymom05 · 10-20-2009, 06:51 PM

Yes he is a man sorry i wasnt specific and i was worried about all those possibilities that you mentioned. He still communicates with me though and is very nice but it seems like even though he said he might move close to me since we live miles apart and we seemed to have a lot in common, it doesnt seem like he knows what he wants. He isnt married that i know of he just has some hobbies and works all the time, i dont think he had many relationships or ones that lasted long either from what he tells me. He said he has had attachement issues for some time now. I know i should just let it go and if he was serious enough he would make an effort and we would be together.