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Old 11-16-2009, 02:19 PM   #1
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Is there something wrong with me? Really paranoid

My boyfriend and I have been together 6 months and I still can't seem to be able to make him orgasm.
I give him handjobs/blowjobs, I don't do the latter as often or for very long because I don't enjoy it, but when I give him a handjob, he is always nearly there but even if I carry on for another 5-10 minutes, it just doesn't happen. I don't have much stamina as it is but I do try my best until my arm is really hurting.

We have discussed it and he says he is going to stop masturbating altogether and see if that helps. But why should he have to? Surely other couples masturbate and are able to make each other orgasm? Its so confusing. He has already gone almost a week without doing it to himself and last night he said it was closer but not close enough...is he too aware of himself or too nervous? He said it was also due to the fact I'm his first girlfriend and sexual partner and he has never ****** in front of anyone but himself before. He kept saying "its gonna be everywhere, what are we going to do with it?" I don't really get that, I mean, I know it does spurt out but if he does it on me or in my hand or a tissue surely thats okay? I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong if anything?

He hasn't been able to have sex with me yet either due to nerves...is this whole thing a nervous/anxiety problem or a physical thing?
He is going for blood tests to see if he has anything wrong i.e. diabetes etc. I know hes not gay because he likes to do stuff to me and if he was gay he wouldnt surely?
We only have to kiss and he gets "excited" so whats the deal?
Is he just too nervous or am i doing something horribly wrong?

 
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Old 11-16-2009, 02:37 PM   #2
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Re: Is there something wrong with me? Really paranoid

Bump please I'm worried

 
Old 11-16-2009, 02:43 PM   #3
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Re: Is there something wrong with me? Really paranoid

there is nothing wrong with you
he's desensitized himself to the real thing

 
Old 11-16-2009, 03:44 PM   #4
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Re: Is there something wrong with me? Really paranoid

I agree with Rose. This isn't your fault. He has several things going against him, all of which are HIS problem, not yours.
1 - You're his first female partner. He's probably extremely nervous which is common for first timers.
2 - As Rose said, because he's used to himself and how he does things, he doesn't know how to handle being with someone else yet. That's something he will have to learn by himself with time.
3 - He seems to be really immature if he's so worried about getting his "stuff" all over. He's not willing to let go enough to let it just happen (which by the way, mature people could care less about), so that's all his fault for not relaxing about it.

None of this stuff is your fault. They're all his issues. He needs to learn how to have a partner and there's not much you can do to help him except tell him to relax.

 
Old 11-16-2009, 04:10 PM   #5
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Re: Is there something wrong with me? Really paranoid

You mentioned that he is going to get blood work to see if anything is wrong. Are you serious?? That's really isn't needed. If he is successful on his own, then he is fine. Like the previous posts reads, he just needs to mature and stop being so paranoid and just relax. The more you guys stress about it..the more of a problem you have on your hands. Don't worry about it and let it happen naturally and he will be fine.
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Last edited by ncyky; 11-16-2009 at 04:11 PM.

 
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