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Old 03-21-2010, 08:38 PM   #1
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Unhappy I am a 40 year old woman with immaturity problems.

I need to talk to someone as to my problem.

I am a 40 year old woman with immaturity problems. I admit that I am immature.

I say things to people I guess just to get the attention I believe, but I am not sure.

I would love to get rid of this immaturity and actually grow up.

Anyways when I do tell people things I regret it afterward thinking why did I say that.

I act different in front of people that I don't know than my own family. I am more reserved with my family and not as immature but get me out in front of other people and I make a fool of myself.

There is a lady that I work with and I keep telling myself, I am not going to tell her anything and then I do anyway. It makes me so mad that I just can't keep my mouth shut. She asks me questions so I think I have to answer her the truth or just answer anything and I know that is not good.


I would just love to stop and act like an adult, even though I do but not in front of the right people.

I just get so angry with myself.

Are there any steps or anything I can do to stop this.

I know it is all in the brain and psychological.

Please, I want to change.

Thanks

I just want everyone to know that someone, I don't know who? Changed my topic title, It originally read. I don't know where to post IMMATURITY. I don't know why someone would change it to. I am a 40 year old woman with immaturity problems. The title makes it sound worse than it really is.

Last edited by isitjustme; 03-21-2010 at 09:06 PM. Reason: Someone changed my title and I tried to change it.

 
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Old 03-22-2010, 06:25 AM   #2
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Re: I am a 40 year old woman with immaturity problems.

I think the first step to change is the obvious recognition of your behavior. But not just what you have done here, which by the way is a wonderful first step. But try this, next time you find yourself saying something innapropriate, appologize instantly, outloud, to the person who'm you have just offended. First of all an honest appology is the only way to redeeming yourself against personal infractions. It shows character and it is in general a good practice. And I dont mean to be a doormat. But if you personally know that you have said or done something inapropriate, reguardless of what anyone else has done or your personal reasons, the best thing you can do is appologize for it. I hate appologizing! And yet, if you find yourself doing it more often for a typical behavior or trait you have, you are less likely to continue repeating your mistake. It brings it right in front of your face and there is no way of shrinking away from it anymore. And as far as I'm concerned, that ought to about fix your problem for you.
Melissa

 
Old 03-22-2010, 09:25 AM   #3
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Re: I am a 40 year old woman with immaturity problems.

if someone asks questions and gets nosy, you just have to tell them. "I'm not going to discuss that"

 
Old 03-22-2010, 09:27 AM   #4
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Re: I am a 40 year old woman with immaturity problems.

There is no quick fix for this. You will just have to train yourself to think before you open your mouth. Even a second or two can stop that comment from coming out. Become a listener instead. Teach yourself to listen to a person and concentrate on what THEY are saying. Respond in kind, for example, comment on what they have just said...Step outside your own head, and let those comments and information just float by without saying them. I don't think your problem is immaturity, as much as social anxiety, and by consciously relaxing yourself and focusing on the other person, you can deal with it. Have a mantra you can chant in your head, like "Listen first, understand second, speak third". I hope you have success with it. Sera.

 
Old 03-22-2010, 10:53 AM   #5
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Re: I am a 40 year old woman with immaturity problems.

I agree with seraph. I went through something similar to this when I was in my teens. The appologizing this was first, because I could not seem to get with the program and keep my mouth shut. This is when I began to appologize for my mistakes. I did not go hunt down people i had found in the past and make these long winded appologies. It was more of a spur of the moment thing for me. When I would say something that I instantly got that ill feeling afterward, I would turn right back around and say ,"I'm sorry. Sometimes my tongue moves faster then my brain. I did not mean to offend you," or something to that effect. I hated doing it because it was verbal confirmation of a mistake. However, it didn't take long, and I stopped making that mistake, because i would rather say nothing, then have to appologize for it. Good luck to you
Melissa

 
Old 03-22-2010, 06:50 PM   #6
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Re: I am a 40 year old woman with immaturity problems.

how did you come to the conclusion that you have immaturity prob's?

 
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