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Old 03-22-2010, 08:36 AM   #1
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Love?!

No. There is no such thing. If there were, everything would work out, at least in ONE situation among humans. But, no. There is no reason to get hopes up, no reason to listen to those voices telling you that it is right. We all have these thoughts, but theyíre just that. Thoughts. These thoughts will leave you broken and in so much pain. Iím sure plenty of people know this. I donít mean to be a pessimist, Iím just entirely frustrated and angry with myself that Iím, again, having these thoughts about there being hope for love. Why? It would never work. I know better. And yetÖ I canít help think of how great it would be to just have someone there like that. NO. No, no, no, no. I canít. I know better than to get myself into that relationship stuff, especially now. I canít deal with it, and neither could he. I canít stop thinking about, and it is driving me crazy. Iíve lost control of my thoughts, of all the things that could be, but I KNOW BETTER! I canít let this happen, not again. I canít get my stupid hopes up just so theyíll be re-shattered. I canít, but itís too lateÖ

 
Old 03-22-2010, 08:40 AM   #2
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Re: Love?!

oh yes.....there is such a thing as love......the problem is people mistake so many other things for it......co-dependency, fear of being alone, disrespect, addiction, etc.....

there is real love, you just have to weed out all the riff-raff that is cleverly disguised as love.

 
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Old 03-22-2010, 12:35 PM   #3
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Re: Love?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
oh yes.....there is such a thing as love......the problem is people mistake so many other things for it......co-dependency, fear of being alone, disrespect, addiction, etc.....

there is real love, you just have to weed out all the riff-raff that is cleverly disguised as love.
I agree with Rose. I also think that a bit of luck and the right person (there is not only one, by the way) can help you find love. But you also must be prepared to give...

 
Old 03-22-2010, 03:15 PM   #4
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Re: Love?!

My thought on this is that if you into a relationship or any situation in life with the forethought of failure you WILL fail. Its that whole "intention" thing. You have to have a possitive intention and belief for there to be any hope. Yes, there is still a fairly good chance that even with a possitive intention and hope that it still will not work out. BUT, there is zero chance it will work out of you go in already telling yourself you are doomed. Sometimes, you get what believe you will get.

 
Old 03-22-2010, 03:28 PM   #5
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Re: Love?!

imsry, are you asking for advice, or did you just need to vent? It kind of sounds like you are still in love with someone who broke your heart, left and now wants back in. Is that the case? Generally speaking, I think most times, exes are exes for very good reasons and they should stay exes. But sometimes, rarely exes can reunite and make it work, though it really doesn't happen very often. But if you both own up to the mistakes you both made and are both different people and have made changes, real changes, in how you deal with each other, and how you deal with yourselves, then there may be a shot that it won't end up the way it did before.

 
Old 03-27-2010, 07:40 PM   #6
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Re: Love?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by imsry28 View Post
No. There is no such thing. If there were, everything would work out, at least in ONE situation among humans. But, no. There is no reason to get hopes up, no reason to listen to those voices telling you that it is right. We all have these thoughts, but theyíre just that. Thoughts. These thoughts will leave you broken and in so much pain. Iím sure plenty of people know this. I donít mean to be a pessimist, Iím just entirely frustrated and angry with myself that Iím, again, having these thoughts about there being hope for love. Why? It would never work. I know better. And yetÖ I canít help think of how great it would be to just have someone there like that. NO. No, no, no, no. I canít. I know better than to get myself into that relationship stuff, especially now. I canít deal with it, and neither could he. I canít stop thinking about, and it is driving me crazy. Iíve lost control of my thoughts, of all the things that could be, but I KNOW BETTER! I canít let this happen, not again. I canít get my stupid hopes up just so theyíll be re-shattered. I canít, but itís too lateÖ
I agree..LOVE is an idea thought up to sell cards and candy...we are just animals that walk on 2 legs...but the again, I do love chocolate though. maybe these is such thing as love.

 
Old 03-27-2010, 08:50 PM   #7
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Re: Love?!

I don't think there are any guarantees in life. Everything we do to live and survive is a gamble.

Think of it in terms of a job. Whenever you take a chance on a job, there's no way to know if it'll work out or not. You could find what you believe is your dream job but one day the company could go bankrupt or new management could take over and totally shake up the company or you could get laid off or your boss that you adore could leave or be fired and his replacement could be a total psycho. But the point is, unless you take a chance and go for a job, any job, you'll never earn a living! So what are you going to do? Not work at all just because the possibility exists that it won't work out? No! I don't think anyone in their right mind would do that!

What about if you buy a house? That's a risk. A car? That's a risk? Adopt a new puppy or kitten? Risk! Move to a new city? Risk! Leave your house every morning and drive somewhere? Risk!!

My point is that risk is everywhere and unless you take risks in life, you will never experience anything! So what is the alternative? Crawling under a rock or burying your head in the sand your whole life? Umm Boring!!!

Everyone in their lifetime experiences some kind of heartbreak and it's usually due to a broken relationship. I've personally had 7 long term relationships go South. And yet here I am, I'm still breathing! I don't love the idea of being single at 36 but I also don't love the idea of never taking a chance again if someone comes along that appears to be interesting.

I think it's way more foolish to completely close yourself off to new people and new experiences. Because when you're sitting there at the age of 65, alone and sad, you'll have nothing to show for it! At least the people who go out there and make a fool of themselves in the name of love have the experience of doing something with their life and trying something new. And at least for me, when I'm in my 80s, I can look back and say - hey, sure I got my heart broken a bunch of times and hell yeah it hurt. But at least I lived my life and did stuff and took chances, even if they didn't pay off! That's what matters in life, is that you at least try or else you won't get anywhere with anything in life!

Last edited by Kszan; 03-27-2010 at 08:51 PM.

 
Old 03-27-2010, 08:59 PM   #8
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Re: Love?!

I think you are placing too much work on love. Love is an emotion. Relationships are actions, commitments, work, trust, partnerships, etc. How can you say there is no such thing as love when clearly, you are feeling a whole lot of it!!!??? If there was no love, you wouldn't feel heart broken, frustrated and in despair. And the truth is (in my opinion) that love is not enough to fix every single problem. But I do think it takes 2 people in-love to try to make it work.

Good luck. Hope you feel better.

 
Old 03-27-2010, 09:33 PM   #9
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Re: Love?!

I cant imagine love being a made up idea and people just being a bunch of animals. I love my children more then anything in this world. i love my parents and my siblings. I loved my husband, and I have loved several others before and since. I have also been disapointed by all of the above at one point or another but the pain you feel as a result, in my opinion, is because you love them. Otherwise, what would the whole point of life be? I think most of us just need to be more careful whom we choose to entangle our feelings with as well as making sure it's for the right reasons.

Last edited by justmel30; 03-27-2010 at 09:34 PM.

 
Old 03-28-2010, 01:13 PM   #10
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Re: Love?!

I believe that people often confuse lust with love. They go nuts over someone, jump into a serious relationship with them and before they ever realize they don't even like the person, they've already gotten married and made commitments to them maybe even had a child together. People really need to date for a long time before they can know if they really do love eachother.
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Old 03-28-2010, 05:07 PM   #11
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Re: Love?!

I agree, people who jump into things ALWAYS have a motive other than love...they are afraid to be alone or are tired of being single and latch onto the first person who gives them attention, they do it for financial reasons or for convenience, they do it to show the world they aren't single losers, they want someone to do things for them...it's only when there's unselfish motives on BOTH sides that the love will be true and strong. And yes, it does exist because I've seen wonderful marriages and love stories with my own eyes.
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Old 03-28-2010, 07:08 PM   #12
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Re: Love?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redneon82 View Post
I agree, people who jump into things ALWAYS have a motive other than love...they are afraid to be alone or are tired of being single and latch onto the first person who gives them attention, they do it for financial reasons or for convenience, they do it to show the world they aren't single losers, they want someone to do things for them.
How do you know my EX husband? HAHAHA! This is exactly his actions after we got divorced almost as if he was trying to prove that he could find a woman and get married to her faster than I could get married. Of course he's divorced already...marriage lasted 3 whole years! Seriously, he married the first woman he met that showed him any interest after our divorce, spent almost NO time with her and got married right away.
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Old 03-28-2010, 10:12 PM   #13
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Re: Love?!

love is a much used word ,the meaning of which is little understood
I think people confuse being in love with loving someone

the 'being in love' is the romantic honeymoon period that many expect to continue and are disappointed when the rose coloured glasses come off
and find that their partner is less than perfect & does not meet YOUR needs

loving someone is when you love that person for all their faults..it is a bond
not unlike the bond between mother & child or pet & pet owners and yes even men & women and bonds cannot be broken regardless

(pet owners know what Im talking about ...you know you would move heaven & earth for that furry smelly little creature that does nothing but eat your food & love you unconditionally)

just my opinion

 
Old 03-28-2010, 10:31 PM   #14
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Re: Love?!

Just love and take care of yourself. Get enough rest, exercise,eat right and never over extend yourself to others but be kind to others and everything else are special moments in time. Don't call it 'love' call it something else and perhaps the fall won't be so painful...and someday when the time is right there will just be happiness and no more falls. But no matter what happens look in the mirror every day and tell that person looking back at ....that you love her. Good luck.

 
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