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Old 03-24-2010, 07:14 AM   #1
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imsry28 HB User
Unsure of my own intentions...

This thread is kind of just me venting, but if I could maybe get some advice too, thatíd be greatÖ Iím just going to re-write what I have already written in my personal journal, so sorry if it sounds weird or if itís hard to understandÖ
I canít stop thinking about it, naturally. I made a mistake, got myself into something that I knew I shouldnít have. There is nothing between us. No feelings. Nothing. If it were love, or anything to close to that, it wouldnít be like this, it wouldnít be awkward. I donít even feel that painful lurch, that stab in my stomach, when I think of him. Iím not sure if this is good or bad. Every other guy Iíve liked has had that effect on me, but not himÖ I like him. He likes me. I wish it could be that simple, that we could build off that and go from there. But it isnít deeper than that. I screwed up, as always. But I really like himÖ Doesnít matter. Itís not going to end in anything but hurt. Iím going to hurt him, just as Iíve hurt multiple others before. I knew better. But something told me I should just take a chance. I shouldnít have. Too late. I screwed up as always and now Iím stuck and I donít know what to do. But it has to work out in end, no matter the outcomeÖ rightÖ?

 
Old 03-24-2010, 07:22 AM   #2
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Idris HB User
Re: Unsure of my own intentions...

Your post is confusing and it is hard, for me anyways, to respond because it is so vague. You made a mistake? What mistake? If there is nothing between the two of you, then why "cant you stop thinking about it" -- thinking about what exactly? Perhaps more detail?

 
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Old 03-24-2010, 07:30 AM   #3
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imsry28 HB User
Re: Unsure of my own intentions...

Well, it's like this; I know better than to get myself into a relationship because I know how it always ends. But there is always this part of me that thinks, "what if this time is different?" I'm upset that I let myself try it, yet again, because the same results are showing. I don't believe in love, but like I said, sometimes there is a more dominant, stupid part of me. The mistake I made was thinking, hoping, that this time it might actually work. When I'm with this guy, it feels like there is something between us. But when we aren't together, I can't stop thinking about it because I feel like I did something wrong in trying this at all. I'm torn between doing the thing that might be best or continuing to try at this, for the sake of his pain and my own. I'm a really... complicated person, as you can probably tell. And I'm sorry about being so vague, but I really don't know what to do...

 
Old 03-24-2010, 08:06 AM   #4
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Idris HB User
Re: Unsure of my own intentions...

How does your relationships always end? I don't really know if you are referring to dating the same breed of men? or you have issues and that is why you keep having the same end result? I want to help you but I am still having a hard time trying to figure out what you mean by "I know better than to get myself into a relationship because I know how it always ends"

For example... if you keep dating the kind of men that are players - you will get similar results...or if you have insecurity issues and let's say you interrogate all the boys you date - yes, most likely it will yield the same result. I AM NOT SAYING YOU ARE DOING THIS. I dont even know what it is, I am just giving you an example...

I dont know if you feel comfortable sharing what it is thats causing your relationships to turn out the way they do... but its something that is obviously reoccurring, now unless you change whatever that is or figure out what it is... you will probably continue to face the same issues/results

You should not give up on relationships!!! I hope you open up some more that way I can give you better advice

 
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