Re: relationship councelling
Well, I'm very concerned in this situation for a couple of reasons. He's sick, he has a problem and won't get help for it. his problem is making your life miserable, so you ask him to seek help for it. He says he will, but only if you make some kind of consession that you won't tell us about, but say that you consider it very unreasonable. So you give in to his unfair, unreasonable demand, become even more miserable for having done so, and he is still draggin his feet about getting help and getting better? Have I got that right?
Well, what concerns me is, he was in no position to be giving you ultimatums, unreasonable ones to boot. The situation should have been, he gets help or he loses you, NOT he gets help if he feels like it, sometime, but only if you subjegate yourself to him even more and allow him to be unfair and unreasonable with you. You had power in this situation and you gave it all away. You keep saying "don't cross this line" and he does, and instead of saying "ok, that's it" you draw another line, and another one and another one, and he keeps crossing them. That's not going to do either of you any good.
Look, this is not just a relationship, this is your life, and you're not enjoying it. It's your life, so why are you letting someone else run it? You have to allow for the possibility that maybe, just maybe, this is not the guy for you. It's not healthy to love someone fearfully, so fearfully that you will allow them to take away from the quality of your life just to keep them. The problem is, you're terrified to lose him, to be without him, and he knows it, and he is using it. Your fear, your inability to stand up for yourself enough to say "I'm done, see ya" gives him all the power. And if he has all the power, why SHOULD he really change? No matter what unreasonable demands of his you bow to?
He gets help or he loses you, period. If he doesn't love you enough to want to be a better man for you, then why would you want him to stay, anyway?