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Old 04-05-2010, 03:09 PM   #1
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Why do I feel this way?...Long...

Not to date myself too much but I had been thinking about my first boyfriend from about 30 years ago. Not constantly or anythiing like that, just here and there. I think part of it was because the last time I had seen him at a festival, I was not in a good mood, and then it had been about 15 years since we saw each other. But I was not friendly to him. Just short and quick with him.

And so had been thinking and feeling bad about that, too. Once I came to my senses.

So anyway, I''m out doing some errands thiis past Easter weekend and low and behold I'm walking into a mall and geuss who's there looking at me. Yep, him.

But this time I am much more open, communicative and friendly to him. Even though I am still very shy. So we talked introduced our kids, he was waiting for his wife. Then I'm on my way.

But now I've been feeling like a school girl all over again. I'm sure I'm not attracted to him. And the fact that he is married quashes anything, so I'm NOT even thinking about that. But I wonder if I feel this way, basically because I'm almost always sad, lonely and just not happy. Not sure if I want to say depressed. In other words, does seeing him remind me of a time in my life when there was some happiness.

BTW, he confirmed as I had "heard" that he has been living out of state for many years now.

But I'm just trying to sort these out, if there is an answer.

 
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Old 04-05-2010, 03:48 PM   #2
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Re: Why do I feel this way?...Long...

I can relate to what you are saying to a certain point.. I think seeing your old boyfriend brought back memories when life was more simple, easy, less responsibilities, etc. Kind of reminds me of that Carly Simon song "It was so easy then"..

I'm older than you, yeah, I'm 53 and I feel good about being 53! Maybe it's because I learned many lessons during the years and trust me, I'm still learning.

But anyway, I don't think there are any answers.. I think it's about living life and taking risks. I'm not in a good place right now either and for me I know I need to "get out there" and be more active (socially). I tend to be a loner yet I have friends that love to go out and it's time I stop making excuses to them and start going out!

I don't know how old your kids are.. Do you go out at all? Do you enjoy dancing? Any hobbies that you can do without your kids where you can have adult fun?

Hope this helps,
Sunny

 
Old 04-06-2010, 05:24 PM   #3
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Re: Why do I feel this way?...Long...

Totally agree with what you first said as far as a time when younger life was just so much more simple.

Same here as far as not being in a good place, needing to be out more and a loner. Being the single parent of a diabetic/asthmatic 12 year old, does that. So no going out for me, unless I can find a good babysitter.

That's why I tend to do more things such as family vacations, but no "me" time.

Thank you for some things to think about, as I will still be learning as well.

 
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