Not to date myself too much but I had been thinking about my first boyfriend from about 30 years ago. Not constantly or anythiing like that, just here and there. I think part of it was because the last time I had seen him at a festival, I was not in a good mood, and then it had been about 15 years since we saw each other. But I was not friendly to him. Just short and quick with him.
And so had been thinking and feeling bad about that, too. Once I came to my senses.
So anyway, I''m out doing some errands thiis past Easter weekend and low and behold I'm walking into a mall and geuss who's there looking at me. Yep, him.
But this time I am much more open, communicative and friendly to him. Even though I am still very shy. So we talked introduced our kids, he was waiting for his wife. Then I'm on my way.
But now I've been feeling like a school girl all over again. I'm sure I'm not attracted to him. And the fact that he is married quashes anything, so I'm NOT even thinking about that. But I wonder if I feel this way, basically because I'm almost always sad, lonely and just not happy. Not sure if I want to say depressed. In other words, does seeing him remind me of a time in my life when there was some happiness.
BTW, he confirmed as I had "heard" that he has been living out of state for many years now.
But I'm just trying to sort these out, if there is an answer.