It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-13-2010, 04:08 PM   #1
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 145
Giant_Squid HB User
This girl is making me crazy.

This is probably the third time in a month I've talked about this same girl and I can't get her out of my head.

A few weeks ago I accidentally met this girl through a case of mistaken identity, but we ended up having a lot in common and hung out a few times. Once we spent the whole day together and went to the beach, the other time I took her on a date. Both times nothing went wrong, no awkward silences, and both of us seemed to showed a general interest in one another. She even seemed eager to hang out, since we had to reschedule the first date and she was the one that was really into finding a new date.

After the first date I asked if she wanted to go out again the following weekend and she said "yeah sure, just let me check my schedule". Well that second date was suppose to be this past weekend but I guess she got stuck at work Saturday night so it didn't happen.

I've only briefly talked to her since Saturday through text (its unfortunate but it seems to be the best way to talk to anyone these days), but I'm starting to go crazy. I'm absolutely head over heels for this girl, some may say I don't really know her but the time I've spent with her has been amazing, I've never met anyone like her and we just seem to click.

After my last thread about this girl asking whether or not she likes me the general conclusion was that she does. So here I find myself every single day questioning whether or not I should call her, not because I'm not sure if I like her anymore, but because I don't want to seem too needy or clingy or annoying. I called her on Friday, but she was at work and asked me what was up through a text. I told her I was just going to say hi and ask if she had looked at her work schedule (through advice of a friend). I didn't hear back from her, so I waited till Monday.

Then on Monday I texted just saying hi, she said hi back told me what she was doing and asked how I was. I replied, then she replied but then had classes so I didn't get to carry on the conversation.

So here I am, I think about this girl every hour of every day she won't get out of my head. The only way I would be able to grant myself relief is if I were to call her or text her, but I don't do that since I'm trying no to being annoying. Its like this Catch 22, I want to call her all the time, but I cant call her all the time. I have no idea what to do or how to handle this situation. I keep finding myself questioning each time I should call her if its appropriate or not.

Also why would she not call or text me first? The day after we met she was the one that contacted me first but every time after that its always been me. She doesn't ever act like she doesn't want to talk to me but she doesn't make the effort to say hi to me either. But then based off when we hang out she doesn't dislike me at all and like I said earlier seems happy to be with me.

Basically the overall question is when should I call this girl, how often? How much is too much? If we briefly exchanged texts (I hate texts) yesterday (Monday) would it be too much if I were to call her today? I hate that I'm thinking about this so much but I can't concentrate on anything else but this girl.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 04-13-2010, 04:38 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 874
resolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB Userresolution09 HB User
Re: This girl is making me crazy.

I don't agree with the "rule" but you read it here a lot and I hear people mention it on talk shows too. It's still the guy's job to pursue. The world's an odd place in terms of social etiquette but I think it's still expected that the guy does most of the pursuit.

Personally, I don't think a call today would be a bad thing at all. How do you start the call? I'd think that if you start by asking if she's busy, you'd have your answer. If she says yes, say you understand, just wanted to say hello and ask her to call you back when she's free. If she says no, go into a general conversation telling her you had some free time so you thought you'd check in and see how her day went. Nothing heavy.

When I"m dating, I don't even mind a daily call. After a while into the dating it's even much appreciated. I think it's more about the length of the call and doing it in such a way that she can get out of the call ( yes, sorry, I'm busy right now ) if she doesn't want to talk or is actually busy. A 15-20 minute call asking about her day shows interest. Expecting an hour or more of her time, well you might as well have taken her to dinner. But these are just my expectations. Others may feel differently.

Hope this continues to go well for you.

 
Old 04-13-2010, 04:53 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
River rocks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Riverside
Posts: 506
River rocks HB User
Re: This girl is making me crazy.

Well, not now knowing whats in her head its hard for us to guess.
But I'll go with my gut on this one and say you should wait to call or text her again.
You have been the one initiating and she said she would check her schedule and see when she was free. She didn't call you back. Whenever I have been interested in a guy, I will call him back. I will make time to call him, even if I am busy, just to let him know yes I am still interested.
I don't want to burst your bubble because maybe she IS into you. Or maybe she is on the fence and doesnt know how she feels yet. I'd give it time.
She may be getting turned off by your over interest. She might feel you are too available. I know... you are just being nice and showing interest which I find very courtious! But she might be sensing you are into her more than she is into you.
I have a feeling that if you wait and hold off on the next call, she will start to wonder whats up with you and she will call you! Just a guess, I could be wrong.

Last edited by River rocks; 04-13-2010 at 04:54 PM.

 
Old 04-13-2010, 04:56 PM   #4
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 145
Giant_Squid HB User
Re: This girl is making me crazy.

Actually I kinda follow the "rule" or at least kind of expect it to be...expected. Talking about girlfriends and how to treat girls other than be nice and don't hit them was never a huge subject in my house. And while it was never talked about its just sort of come to my understanding that the guy is the one that makes the dates, does the calling, etc. its the "man thing to do" it shows you have confidence or something. Which actually never use to be a problem for me. Even though back in high school I only ever had one girlfriend, if there was a girl I liked I would call them every single day and I never received any objections from it, but for some reason I'm scared of calling this girl and I think its because I'm afraid of scaring her away. As well as my friend giving me odd advice that seems to only work for him, which is take your time and let it happen. Its almost as if he's saying put "anti-effort" into and the less you try the more successful you'll be. If I were following his advice I wouldn't call this girl at all.

The reason why I keep worrying about her not calling me is because I recently met another girl, before this current one actually, and we've been talking every few days and to my surprise she's actually the one making the effort to say hi. Although I don't plan to try to make anything more than just a friend out of it since she lives a thousand miles away in NYC, it just gets me wondering why this girl isn't talking to me as much as the one that lives a thousand miles away. On top of that my good friend seems to have girls being the ones to contact him all the time and he hardly makes any effort. We went to a party this past weekend and as soon as we got there we had about 4 or 5 girls he knew coming up and talking to him throughout the night, while all the girls I knew didn't say much more than a passing hi/bye to me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RiverRocks
She didn't call you back. Whenever I have been interested in a guy, I will call him back. I will make time to call him, even if I am busy, just to let him know yes I am still interested.
I don't want to burst your bubble because maybe she IS into you. Or maybe she is on the fence and doesnt know how she feels yet. I'd give it time.
She may be getting turned off by your over interest. She might feel you are too available. I know... you are just being nice and showing interest which I find very courtious! But she might be sensing you are into her more than she is into you.
I have a feeling that if you wait and hold off on the next call, she will start to wonder whats up with you and she will call you! Just a guess, I could be wrong.
Well then at what point do you give up? Should I try to wait a whole week? Do I just do as I normally do till she stops responding all together? I've been told by various people that most guys give up too early/easily, and to never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about, or some girls think the guy should make the calls and plans.
With that said I ended up talking to her tonight. I was at school doing work and she was on instant message in one of her late classes. I figured why not and once we started talking granted its the internet I got no bad vibes from the conversation. Maybe its because I'm trying to stay hopeful but when I was talking to her it was the same way its always been since the first night we met.

Last edited by Giant_Squid; 04-13-2010 at 09:58 PM.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Can anyone explain this to me? acdc554 Dental Health 8 04-20-2010 10:11 AM
How do I know if this girl likes me? Signs say yes...I think...maybe Giant_Squid Relationship Health 11 04-05-2010 07:38 AM
Is this a red flag? meg4 Relationship Health 53 03-26-2010 06:25 PM
I hate living with this anger, i dont no how to but i no i have to! tizzy76 Anger Management 35 02-16-2008 08:18 AM
Needed to post this.. stargrave Inner Ear Disorders 0 02-04-2008 10:17 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (272), rosequartz (254), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (155), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (96), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1177), MSJayhawk (1004), Apollo123 (903), Titchou (847), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (753), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (668), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:21 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!