Re: Visit my dad?
I haven't laid eyes on or spoken to my dad since I was 18. I am now 43. He couldn't be bothered to pay child support when my brother and I were kids, so my mother, who was seriously ill, had to go to work to feed us. I figure, if he couldn't care less if we ate or had somewhere to live when we were kids, I don't care if he eats or has somewhere to live now. It may sound harsh, but you can't expect people who can't be bothered with you to act like others who do care. They just don't have it in them.
I heard a few years ago that my father is living in some low-rent dump which happens to be only about 6 or 7 miles from where I'm now living. I haven't looked him up; in fact, I hope I never run into the loser because I'll tear into him.
I know it's natural to yearn for a good relationship with your father since you didn't have one when you were a child, and you want to "fix" it. It would be best to realize that he probably hasn't changed all that much and your relationship will probably be pretty much the same now as it always was. It's your choice to decide if you are capable of handling it now that you are an adult.
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." - Erica Jong