Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We are very happy and have a very healthy sex life... but lately I have noticed that he calls me "girl" during sex a lot. He used to call me by my name, or honey, or baby... and he still does sometimes, but he says "girl" a lot more than anything else, and a lot more than he used to. Should I be bothered by this? Is he trying to "depersonalize" sex, or is this just a word that he is using and I should not think twice about it? I guess it makes me feel a little disconnected, like I am just a "girl", and not the endearing words that he used to say. Am I just being emotional about this and taking it wrong? Or does this change probably mean something?
I spoke to him about it, and he said that it did not mean anything- but the next time we had sex, he did it some more! I just dont get it, it seems as though he is trying to imagine that it is someone different or something, which is weird because we have a very active sex life.
I cant tell you whether or not you should take it personal. But it does sound like you allready do. If that's the case, then you should tell him. Tell him that it bothers you, and that you would really like him to call you by your name, and possibly even say something a little more romantic. Tell him that it makes you feel random and disconnected. If the two of you are capable of communicating on that level, then I'm sure he cares enough about you to not want you to feel "off" during sex. If your not capable of communicating on that level, then I would suggest that you put a damper on things until you are.
He probably heard the term somewhere--in a song, or a movie, or someone else he knows--and he liked the context in which it was used. Everyone does this; I doubt he just pulled "girl" from thin air. I really don't see the big deal, especially if this is your only complaint.
That said, if it really bothers you, he should respect your wishes and not use it anymore.
On one level, it's kind of funny (sorry). I think he's probably using it because he thinks it's a "hot" or sexy term, for whatever reason. And you have the complete opposite reaction. This kind of scenario plays out in comedies all the time.