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Old 04-21-2010, 09:45 AM   #1
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Unhappy Is it time to leave him?

Hello,

I am a young lady dating an older man.

Couple months ago I was feeling lonely and decided to check out a [dating site]. Met this man and he was wonderful to me. He is married with kids, but claimed that he is emotionally and physically unsatisfied. We agreed that we would only see each other and if we see anyone else we would let each other know.

4 months after dating, I asked him why he is still on [the site], he says because he wants to look at my pictures. And now, 7 months after dating, I logged on the site just to check, and he changed his profile pic. Why would he do that if hes only to look at my pictures? He says he loves me and cares about me. I have feelings for him too.

Can I get some thoughts? I really need someone to talk to as I can’t turn to my family and friends because he is a bit older.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 04-21-2010 at 11:35 AM. Reason: Do not post commercial web sites.

 
Old 04-21-2010, 09:58 AM   #2
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Re: Is it time to leave him?

Quote:
Originally Posted by heartbroken678 View Post
Can I get some thoughts? I really need someone to talk to as I canít turn to my family and friends because he is a bit older.
you can't talk to your family and friends because he's OLDER?
or because he's married.....
he's a player, and he's still shopping the market, along with being married!
maybe he thinks he can pull the wool over your eyes because you're young and naive......
this relationship is just a side thing for him.....just for fun.
I'd look elsewhere if I were you, for a guy who is available and not married with children!

 
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Old 04-21-2010, 10:06 AM   #3
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Re: Is it time to leave him?

Um, you are the "other woman" and you want to complain that you think he is cheating on you? He is cheating on his wife with you, you don't get to expect fideltity/faithfulness when you are carrying on an affair with a married man. That doesn't even make any sense. Dump the loser cheating husband and find an available man to date.

 
Old 04-21-2010, 11:39 AM   #4
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Re: Is it time to leave him?

I must agree with the others. I'm not sure exactly what you expect to have happen, since you know he is married with kids and cheating with you. Did you think he wouldn't cheat on you, too? That's what cheaters do, they cheat. And the women who fall for them are completely doomed to a life of misery and heartbreak if they stay with them.

The smart thing for you to do is to tell him to get lost and don't ever contact him again. He is very bad news and he will do nothing but hurt you in the end. He will never leave his wife, so this entire relationship is totally pointless.

 
Old 04-21-2010, 11:50 AM   #5
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Re: Is it time to leave him?

Why are you seeking a relationship with a married man? Every man who cheats on their wife feeds the mistress the same line "I'm unsatisfied with my marriage". Maybe he is but that doesn't change anything- he is married.

As the other woman, you don't get the privilege of his being faithful to you. The harsh reality here is that you are not the only lady he is toying with.

Why would you expect him to be loyal to you?

Last edited by River rocks; 04-21-2010 at 11:50 AM.

 
Old 04-21-2010, 02:00 PM   #6
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Re: Is it time to leave him?

Quote:
Originally Posted by heartbroken678 View Post
We agreed that we would only see each other
Except that he's not only "seeing" someone else, he's married to her.

I'm sorry, but I think the proper expression is, pull your head out of the sand. And I mean that in all sincerity. I think you're being blinded by emotion and are not seeing the bigger picture.

In addition to his wife, of course he's perusing the dating site for other women. Just like he did for you. I'm sure he has told other women the exact same things he has told you. He's enjoying some side action from his marriage; you're just a toy for him. Don't be that person.

 
Old 04-21-2010, 02:23 PM   #7
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Re: Is it time to leave him?

I will try not to be unkind, here. It's hard, because you are- effectively- a homewrecker.

This man is using you. He very likely lied to you about his home situation, and odds are his wife is completely unaware of his cheating (or in denial). He most likely has cheated multiple times before, probably has other girlfriends besides you, and will have girlfriends after you.

The only right thing to do is to dump him and move on. He is someone else's husband. He took VOWS to be faithful to that person. Vows he is breaking- but you are just as guilty because you KNOW he has kids and a wife and you are cheating with him.

Walk away. Is it time to leave him? YES. You never should have been with him in the first place, regardless of what a sad, "poor me" sob story he gave you.

Afterward, do some introspection on why you would deny yourself a fulfilling relationship with an emotionally available unattached man that you could have a real relationship with.

 
Old 04-21-2010, 05:40 PM   #8
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Re: Is it time to leave him?

You must be very young...

 
Old 04-21-2010, 08:21 PM   #9
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Re: Is it time to leave him?

Shame Shame,

Assuming your parents are still married....how would you feel about some woman KNOWINGLY having an affair with your dad?

There is a reason that people who knowing start affairs with married people get no respect...because they give no respect.

Sorry...but you put this out there, I just can't feel much sympathy because your cheating man...is cheating on you.

And one thing you really need to understand just because his wife and kids don't know about you now...that doesn't mean that your actions aren't hurting them. Lies and deceit tend to disolve the best of relationships.

I understand that if it wasn't you then it would be another young girl, but you aren't doing yourself any favors here. You may have had the chance to meet the love of your life a few months ago, but missed it because you were wasting your time with a man who will never leave his wife for you and will most likely dump you when you demand too much from him.

Nuff Said?

Last edited by Shutter; 04-21-2010 at 09:49 PM.

 
Old 04-22-2010, 08:19 AM   #10
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Re: Is it time to leave him?

Good replies everybody! I really have nothing to add, I think it was all said. I agree 100% with all the replies!

 
Old 04-22-2010, 08:48 AM   #11
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Re: Is it time to leave him?

My mom always told ME... if he cheats WITH you he will cheat ON you.. Once a cheat always a cheat

 
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