Working holiday abroad with my girlfriend. Have I done the right thing?
I need some advice please.
This is a little long but please bear with me as I have a dilemma.
Today is my two year anniversary with my girlfriend.
I met her when I was going through an incredibly difficult time in my life and she was so supportive and amazing at a time when I had virtually lost faith that I would find someone. For a while I was unsure of how I really felt inside about her but love slowly but surely blossomed.
During the previous 2 years before I met her my world came down around me when I was diagnosed with health problem which emotionally crippled me. I knew things would eventually improve and had made loose plans to travel overseas and work for a year or so through a working holiday agency. This was something I always envisaged I would do by myself as I thought I would get the most out of the experience this way.
However I met my girlfriend in the mean time and when the time came to travel it was either go myself which I had originally intended and lose her or take her with me. It was very hard decision to make but in the end the decided that I wanted her to come with me as I loved her and she was very keen to come.
Well its been over 6 months since we have been living together now and I have had a constant battle within myself as to if I did the right thing. Sure there are positives as the support etc but sometimes I don’t feel as if I am getting everything I want out of the experience such as total independence etc. Also because I have my girlfriend with me the social aspect hasn’t been as great as I had hoped for – For instance I would have had to meet new people to move in with etc if I was alone. Just about everyone I know has come by themselves or a friend and I keep thinking should I have done that too?
I am planning to return home in another 6 months or so and I have a really ill feeling that when I get back I will have some severe regrets that I didn’t get what I wanted out of the experience and it really really eats at me.
I just don’t know what to do as she is a fantastic person and I may regret the whole thing If I leave her but at same time I know I am going to have regrets If I don’t do something.. Can anyone relate? What should I do?
Re: Working holiday abroad with my girlfriend. Have I done the right thing?
sounds like it boils down to a situation of......
you can't have your cake and eat it too.
you have to decide what's more important to you.
Your girlfriend, or being independent
but it sounds like the decision has been made, you're already there and she's there with you, right?
Re: Working holiday abroad with my girlfriend. Have I done the right thing?
Nope! I absolutely cant relate. So what your saying is you have a dream girl, and a dream job, in your dream location, and your upset that the dream girl is getting in your way of being a single guy? Stop waisting her time and send her home so she can begin to put the pieces of her shattered fantasy life back together if you've strung her along this far. Either that, or be the man she deserves and dont look back.
Last edited by Mod-S4; 05-16-2010 at 01:21 PM.
Reason: Rude comment deleted. Post in a helpful supportive manner or don't post.
Re: Working holiday abroad with my girlfriend. Have I done the right thing?
Why can't you meet new friends while you're with your gf? How is she holding you back? Why can't you guys go through this experience together and become a stronger couple as a result?
I don't think you're missing out on anything here. I think you're in a situation where you guys have the potential to experience a totally new place together, where you can make some great memories that you can look back on when you go home, with great fondness.
I'd love to be in your position with someone by my side. Experiencing things alone can be kind of anti-climactic and a little sad sometimes because you have no one to turn to and say, "Wow, isn't this great?! Look at how cool this is!" You will find once you get older that being alone can make experiences more hollow and less fulfilling than they would have otherwise been with a great partner by your side. It sounds like you have a great relationship and she has done nothing wrong except come with you when you asked her to go. So why you need to punish her for that?
Change your perspective and see what a wonderful gift you have in this opportunity to share this amazing experience with someone who has been nothing but supportive through all this.
Re: Working holiday abroad with my girlfriend. Have I done the right thing?
Is it just that you want to date/sleep with other people when you're abroad? I don't really see how her presence would be holding you back in any other way..
