It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-10-2010, 03:59 AM   #1
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 81
dirkson4 HB User
Working holiday abroad with my girlfriend. Have I done the right thing?

I need some advice please.

This is a little long but please bear with me as I have a dilemma.

Today is my two year anniversary with my girlfriend.

I met her when I was going through an incredibly difficult time in my life and she was so supportive and amazing at a time when I had virtually lost faith that I would find someone. For a while I was unsure of how I really felt inside about her but love slowly but surely blossomed.

During the previous 2 years before I met her my world came down around me when I was diagnosed with health problem which emotionally crippled me. I knew things would eventually improve and had made loose plans to travel overseas and work for a year or so through a working holiday agency. This was something I always envisaged I would do by myself as I thought I would get the most out of the experience this way.

However I met my girlfriend in the mean time and when the time came to travel it was either go myself which I had originally intended and lose her or take her with me. It was very hard decision to make but in the end the decided that I wanted her to come with me as I loved her and she was very keen to come.

Well its been over 6 months since we have been living together now and I have had a constant battle within myself as to if I did the right thing. Sure there are positives as the support etc but sometimes I donít feel as if I am getting everything I want out of the experience such as total independence etc. Also because I have my girlfriend with me the social aspect hasnít been as great as I had hoped for Ė For instance I would have had to meet new people to move in with etc if I was alone. Just about everyone I know has come by themselves or a friend and I keep thinking should I have done that too?

I am planning to return home in another 6 months or so and I have a really ill feeling that when I get back I will have some severe regrets that I didnít get what I wanted out of the experience and it really really eats at me.

I just donít know what to do as she is a fantastic person and I may regret the whole thing If I leave her but at same time I know I am going to have regrets If I donít do something.. Can anyone relate? What should I do?

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 05-10-2010, 06:48 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,296
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: Working holiday abroad with my girlfriend. Have I done the right thing?

sounds like it boils down to a situation of......
you can't have your cake and eat it too.
you have to decide what's more important to you.
Your girlfriend, or being independent
but it sounds like the decision has been made, you're already there and she's there with you, right?

 
Old 05-10-2010, 07:21 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 931
digmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB User
Re: Working holiday abroad with my girlfriend. Have I done the right thing?

Yeah, what can you do, tell her to go home?

 
Old 05-10-2010, 06:54 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 969
justmel30 HB User
Re: Working holiday abroad with my girlfriend. Have I done the right thing?

Nope! I absolutely cant relate. So what your saying is you have a dream girl, and a dream job, in your dream location, and your upset that the dream girl is getting in your way of being a single guy? Stop waisting her time and send her home so she can begin to put the pieces of her shattered fantasy life back together if you've strung her along this far. Either that, or be the man she deserves and dont look back.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 05-16-2010 at 01:21 PM. Reason: Rude comment deleted. Post in a helpful supportive manner or don't post.

 
Old 05-13-2010, 09:44 PM   #5
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 147
goingdaffy HB User
Re: Working holiday abroad with my girlfriend. Have I done the right thing?

Life doesn't always work out as planned, love the one you're with!

Last edited by goingdaffy; 05-13-2010 at 09:47 PM. Reason: spelling

 
Old 05-16-2010, 11:31 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rocking IN. USA
Posts: 1,051
Hoop HB UserHoop HB User
Re: Working holiday abroad with my girlfriend. Have I done the right thing?

Yes Siree!!! you're quite the man.

Girls are lucky to have a guy like you around to occupy their time.

They just don't know it!!!

Knock em dead Sonny Boy.

HOOP!

 
Old 05-16-2010, 06:48 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Kszan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,936
Kszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB User
Re: Working holiday abroad with my girlfriend. Have I done the right thing?

Why can't you meet new friends while you're with your gf? How is she holding you back? Why can't you guys go through this experience together and become a stronger couple as a result?

I don't think you're missing out on anything here. I think you're in a situation where you guys have the potential to experience a totally new place together, where you can make some great memories that you can look back on when you go home, with great fondness.

I'd love to be in your position with someone by my side. Experiencing things alone can be kind of anti-climactic and a little sad sometimes because you have no one to turn to and say, "Wow, isn't this great?! Look at how cool this is!" You will find once you get older that being alone can make experiences more hollow and less fulfilling than they would have otherwise been with a great partner by your side. It sounds like you have a great relationship and she has done nothing wrong except come with you when you asked her to go. So why you need to punish her for that?

Change your perspective and see what a wonderful gift you have in this opportunity to share this amazing experience with someone who has been nothing but supportive through all this.

 
Old 05-17-2010, 12:59 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 931
digmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB User
Re: Working holiday abroad with my girlfriend. Have I done the right thing?

Is it just that you want to date/sleep with other people when you're abroad? I don't really see how her presence would be holding you back in any other way..

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
still in pain/meds not working any longer deisinger Pain Management 9 05-26-2010 10:56 AM
how do i lose huge weight gain w/o working out from pain? rosebuddy Fibromyalgia 15 07-15-2008 01:47 PM
Complicated Holiday Friendship #2 ErimusValidus Relationship Health 167 11-16-2007 01:30 PM
Girlfriend blaming herself for mishaps with sick guys, help... MrZeely Relationship Health 24 09-17-2007 06:04 PM
He goes to holiday with his ex-girlfriend karasik Relationship Health 2 08-29-2006 03:52 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (270), rosequartz (251), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (155), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (94), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1162), MSJayhawk (990), Apollo123 (890), Titchou (825), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (757), ladybud (737), sammy64 (666), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:42 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!