Being friends with your ex
I am currently in a committed relationship and am also friends with my ex (my first bf). My current bf approach me one day and said he noticed my ex comments frequently on my FB page (never in a flirtatious or in a way that implies that he wants me back). He just says that he notices he comments a lot and wanted to know why.
For the most part I feel there are few circumstances which keeping ties with your ex is acceptable (children, when there is no romantic interest, both parties have moved on). Although I have dated many men, I kept ties with none of them except my first bf. I met him when I was 18 and we dated on and off for 4.5 years. At 18 how much do you really know about what you want in a partner, especially when its your first relationship? What I did know was that JIM* had everything that I thought I wanted, except for one little thing. We had zero romantic chemistry, compatibility. I thought things would get better with time, and if they didn't I thought I would just learn to deal with it. I didn't think it was possible to find everything you wanted in one person. Had this been the case now, I would have ended things much sooner. When we had sex, he turned things into a wrestling/tickling match. He'd always do something for a laugh, but this become very obnoxious after a while. Instead of ever opening a door for me, he'd intentionally hurry ahead of me, open the door for himself and closed it on me. He wasnt trying to be mean, but he loved to agitate. He did these kinds of things to everyone, but I thought it was odd he'd do it to his gf. Anytime he tried to be chivalrous or compliment me in some way, it didnt sound natural only sarcastic. His friends would always joke (i think) and say before me Jim never had a gf so they started to wonder if he was gay. As far as I know, he hasn't really dated any women to this day. He is always around beautiful women though because he does club promotions on the side. But ever since I ended things, he never once tried to get back together with me. He said he just wants me happy, and I want the same for him.
However, he and I always had such a great time together goofing around and whatnot. I am an only child, and he was like the brother I never had. This is why is still is part of the family. My family talks to him on the phone from time to time, but they aren't secretly hoping that one day we end up together. Both Jim and I know we were not right for eachother, but we are fortunate to still remain friends 3,000 miles away (I moved away a few years ago).
Honestly, my current bf has nothing to worry about. I have explained it to him, and I think my mom has as well. I can see myself marrying this guy one day, and I would never want him to see my ex as a threat.