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Old 05-15-2010, 08:33 AM   #1
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goingdaffy HB User
husband takes the internet modem away

I got up this morning and my husband had left at 5:30 am to go fishing. The internet modem was gone and our phone system runs off of the internet. I looked through every closet I could find, my husband doesn't carry a cell phone, so the only way I can reach him is to call from a borrowed cell phone and try to go back through the caller id and call one of his friends numbers that he is usually with. This makes me insane!!!! I cannot take be controlled by another person and I don't know how to stop this. Please help! I finally found it as you can tell, or I wouldn't be typing this. This may not seem like a major issue to most people, but to me it robs me of my constitutional rights. My husband does not own me! I am very mad!!!!!!!

 
Old 05-15-2010, 10:54 AM   #2
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DesertMeow HB User
Re: husband takes the internet modem away

Why don't you start taking things that your husband enjoys using or that he needs and hiding them. Don't give them back until he agrees to sit down with you (and preferably a marriage counselor) and talk about what's gone so wrong in your marriage and how you're going to fix it together. Two can play this game! You can become even more controlling and passive-aggressive than he is!

Or you could just move out one day while he's out fishing, so he'll come home and fine you gone. Be sure to leave a note on the bed on your way out that says "Good-bye."

I personally would do one of these two things in your situation. I sympathize with you, but you can change your response to how he treats you and not put up with it. Whatever happens, I hope things get better for you.

 
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Old 05-15-2010, 11:01 AM   #3
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niknak77 HB User
Re: husband takes the internet modem away

If you don't want to be controlled then there is only one thing you can do, leave. Pack up everything and leave while he is out fishing or whatever it is he is doing. Get out now before it gets worse. Good luck.

 
Old 05-15-2010, 11:26 AM   #4
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Re: husband takes the internet modem away

If he intentionally hid it to keep it from you and to keep off the computer and to keep you from being able to call people, then yes, I'd say that's a very big deal.

Do you knonw why he would do this? Is his motive to control you? I agree, the key is to change your response to it. You have to do something that won't agitate him to the point of harming you, but also something that makes it clear that he will suffer consequences for such mentally abusive, controlling behavior.

 
Old 05-15-2010, 11:27 AM   #5
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goingdaffy HB User
Re: husband takes the internet modem away

I'm still mad! I have an ecommerce business and I need the internet. He says he took it away because our son was still up and because he didn't graduate and needs to do something with his life. Because my son didn't graduate, my husband gets so angry and can't forgive him. He gets mad and says mean things to my son about how he's a failure. This just adds to my sons anxiety. My son has a plan to go to a Junior college in the fall and go through the school's GED program to get a diploma, but if he's constantly fighting with my husband, he will give up. He will be 18 soon and has issues. As you can imagine, this only makes my son rebel even more and it doesn't help things at all. It only makes me fight against my husband because my son can find other things to do and does, just for spite. I however, can't do any work when he's gone. So it's really me he's punishing. If it hadn't been a Saturday, I think I would have gone straight to a lawyer and filed! I just can't get through to him that he can't take the modem and then leave. My daughter has two weeks left of school and then she plans to run cross country with her team this summer. She doesn't want to leave.

 
Old 05-15-2010, 11:31 AM   #6
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Redneon82 HB User
Re: husband takes the internet modem away

Quote:
Originally Posted by goingdaffy View Post
I'm still mad! I have an ecommerce business and I need the internet. He says he took it away because our son was still up and because he didn't graduate and needs to do something with his life. Because my son didn't graduate, my husband gets so angry and can't forgive him. He gets mad and says mean things to my son about how he's a failure. This just adds to my sons anxiety. My son has a plan to go to a Junior college in the fall and go through the school's GED program to get a diploma, but if he's constantly fighting with my husband, he will give up. He will be 18 soon and has issues. As you can imagine, this only makes my son rebel even more and it doesn't help things at all. It only makes me fight against my husband because my son can find other things to do and does, just for spite. I however, can't do any work when he's gone. So it's really me he's punishing. If it hadn't been a Saturday, I think I would have gone straight to a lawyer and filed! I just can't get through to him that he can't take the modem and then leave. My daughter has two weeks left of school and then she plans to run cross country with her team this summer. She doesn't want to leave.
You need to say everything you said here to your husband.
__________________
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." - Erica Jong

 
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