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Old 05-16-2010, 08:07 PM   #1
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Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

OK, guys it has been a long time since I have been on here. Mainly on the lyme boards but a few questions here in the past. Let me start this long story and need advice cuz this man is driving me crazy

I left my husband in Dec after a 20 year bad marriage. There was a lot of physical abuse. I have had my head split open requiring stitches on top and under skin from being pushed into a door, sticthes in forehead from having a pan thrown at me, broken nose from being elbowed, and now have a screw in my wrist and an anchor inthe top of my hand from being broke and a ligament coming completely unattached. Good news is I finally had enough and got out!!!!!

Bad news, my kids seen this for all of there lives. Any my son suffered some also. End result was my daughter moved out when she turned 18 even though she had numerous illnesses, she worked 3 jobs and still completed her senior year. My now 16 year old son started running away last August. The first time he went to his granddads (my dad). This was the first time any one talked about the abuse and once it was out there was no way to deny it anymore. Well he returned home, a social worker got involved but because there was no current abuse he was able to return home. My ex said he would change and tried to for the most part but he is bipolar and BPD so that pretty much says a lot. The next time he got real mad he yelled at my son adn when my son had the chance he booked. My ex did not touch him but just the fear of his voice was enough and I understood that. So i reported him missing again and this incredible cop came into our lives.

This man went above and beyond trying to find my son. THe next day he did, called me to the school and then talked to me about everything. My son had told him some of the basics ( I really do not know what was said but apparently he knew there was abuse). He told me he was worried about us and did not want to come out for a call that could not be undone. He also asked my son to leave the room and told me that the reason he became an officer was because his mom was abused by his stepdad and he wanted to make a difference. He asked me if I needed help and I told him no, I could do it, he asked if he could come by occassionaly and check on us and of course i said yes. Well as soon as i got home i went in the backyard and son booked again so i had to call cop right back. We both rode around looking for him. Found him agian next day and this time he was ok for 2 days. Then he ran away again. My new cop friend was trying to deal with my neighbor who had stabbed himself but after his shift ended he stayed on looking for my son for 3 hour in the pouring down rain and found him again. Come to find out my son also is bipolar.

Skip forward, I finally told my husband I was tired of being miserable, that i only stayed to keep my family together because i had been told i would be a homewrecker. But end result were kids were more screwed up than we were. He agreed and since i did it under his terms meaning he thought he was in control of helping, I was able to get my own place, my name, my stuff my life. I took hardly anything from the house. I do not want to hear later that i only made it cuz he helped me. THis was Dec. He wanted me to wait for xmas but i could not wait anymore.

I told our cop friend that we would be leaving my husband and wanted him to do a drop by the weekend we were moving just to make sure things were ok. He said he would but we ended up doing it sooner and he was off. He still stayed in contact with my son. Even asked him to do a ride along but the caption said no because with him being a runaway he could be a liabilty if they make him get out for a dangerous call.

Now at this point, I know I have a high level of attraction for this man. He changed my input in the system cuz I felt like someone cared (oh did i mention my ex had shot up someone vehicles about 10 years ago in public and charges were dropped. he got charged with nothing so you can see why i think the system sucks). And my attraction for him is when i also realized i had no love for my ex and did not know why i was still there. I am not dependent on him. I make excellent money but cough it all over every week for bills, I have my own vehicle in my own name, my own credit, etc. I have never ever felt an attraction for any man during my 20 years together. I would find someone to be cute but to actually think about them all the time i knew it was done.

So after a couple of months i felt like i was going to put it out there. nothing to loose at this point. So the middle of March i called his voice mail to tell him that my son got denied the ride along and that I was pretty disappointed myself because i was hoping to see him again soon, i went on to say so maybe we can get together but was cut out of the message so have no idea what he really heard. I had told him the house number too if he wanted to call. Well the next day i was sick and went home early to find the phone ringing at lunch. I answered and it was him. He said he was just checking on my son and asked exactly where did we move (still his beat though just couple of miles away). We talked briefly and hung up. Then i wondered did he call in hopes of leaving a message on the machine. Well nothing for a couple of weeks until i came out of the conveience store to fnd him parked behind my truck. He was much different that before. Normally he tries to be such the hard cop and hardly cracks a smile but this time all smiles, asked me how i was doing with the seperation, told me i looked happy, etc. He kept looking at me and then would have to look away. So we ended it with, he told me to keep waving when i would see him, i told him definately.

Oh, the police substation is in the entrance of my development so I see him more than ever. well next week i am now finding reasons to hang out in the area. Well i was there with the boys and he came out and seen us. He was talking to my boys and another group came (kids love him, all the kids in the area all ages talk about him all the time) and the whole time he was talking to them he kept looking at me smiling. I had to walk away and my oldest (that he is friends with) said he watched me the whole way. Well about another week later I had enough, I met my friend for lunch in the shopping center and was determined i was going to find out if he was single. So when he came out I went up to him and just asked. I made him drop his water bottle. LOL, he told me yes he was, we made a few jokes about me hanging out there a lot and I told him i was an obessessed stalker. He did tell me he did not thikn i was that bad. So i said by and left. Well when my friend and I came out from lunch he was still in parking lot and pulled up to us, he apologized to me (in front of her) said i had caught him off guard and we would definately talk about it later.

Two days later we ran into each other again, he informed me that he hated when my son got into trouble but looked forward to being able to see me during the calls, said he thought i was a very hot lady but we have a conflict of interest, then said it was my son, he said he likes my son a lot and does not want to ruin there friendship. I told him if that is what he wanted I would understand because it means a lot to me to know someone cares like that. I told him though that my son was actually encouraging this. He said he would need to talk to him. Then commented on it was now the time where i was suppose to walk away and he could not watch because I leave him flustered and he does not like to be like that.

So the next week I called his voice mail and told him Iwould be in the area at lunch time (gave him exact time) in case he wanted to run into me. Well i heard from another cop that he got called to special training so i stayed at work. Come to find out we had a shooting in the area the night before and he was called back to duty to investiage and i heard from a friend that he went into our lunch place at the time iwas suppose to be there, waited a few and then left. So i felt like i stood him up. Two days later I called and left another message saying i was sorry for the misunderstand and to make it easier he should just straight up meet me the next monday for lunch. By that afternoon he called me back to tell me he was sorry but would not be able to, said that they have him working around the clokc on this shooting. And he did not know when he would be avaialbe but was sure we would run into each other. So as my heart sank i said ok. Well he was not lying, they took him off regular duty and put him in criminal investigations in another part of the county. He was there for 4 weeks and just came back monday. During the 4 weeks he did run into my boys when he was asking the local kids if they heard anyting yet and then told my oldest in front of all the kids to make sure he told me he said hi. then 2 weeks ago there were several cops speeding down the road after someone and when i looked to cross the street he was one of them and went way out of his way to wave.

Well I did not know he was back monday and when my friend and i were walking he and about 5 other cops came out of station. He was walking to his car and when he seen me on the sidewalk he came back to talk. told me he was back and would of been better if the case would of been solved. As my friend talked a lot about the case we just sort of stood smiling at each other. Then his partner was waiting so he told me he would see me later. Friday I said enough and left another message. I said to myself this is the last one and I was giving him until the end of weekend and going to try and get him out of my system. Well in the message i said it was nice seeing him but would love to be able to really talk to him without someone being around, told him he should give me a call or stop by or hey, we should just get together. Well he was off till Friday. Friday did not hear anything. Saturday I was walking (I have been trying to walk more and more cuz going to do a 12 mile walk for my daughter) and when i came out of store in station area i could see him out of the corner of my eye but I was determined not to run up to him, figured let him come to me this time, so i crossed the street and went on with my plans. When i circled he was still inside, i guess having his lunch break so i went on home. Later on i took my next walk and into it, i heard a car flying up, well it was him, he was coming off a side street onto main street and when he looked to the left and seen me, he stopped so i had to go up to him he was blocking the street. He asked me if i was getting enought exercise, i told him yeah and that i had walked 7 miles total, he said i did not need all that cuz i look good already. He told me he really does not know my exact address so I told him (so i would assume he heard the message), he asked me how my son was and i assured him he was great, even told him how my son tried to get me to go up to a patrol car and talk cuz he thought it was him but it wasnt. he laughed at that. He said he really need to go to an alarm but would see me later and off he went. Then today when i was walking he literally ran out of substation with two other cops. He seen me and asked me what i was up to as he was running. I said headed home, done with my walk and he said ok, see ya later and took off.

My question is WTH!!!!! Am I crazy to think this is going anywhere. He is definately single. He is also very much into his career. He has already been promoted and received several awards. All the kids and people are here love him to death. I have never ever felt this comfortable talking to anyone. the flirting just happens and is so easy and casual and I have never ever ever felt this attraction for anyone. Oh, I ended that message the other day with sorry not trying to be pushy but I wasted a lot of time in my life and now just going for what i want. So it is obvious what i want. Now if he continues to flirt is he interested or jsut an ***. Is he just giving me space in case i decide to go back to the ex cuz I am sure he sees this every day. I am just so stuck. I know if i run into him again i am asking no matter who is around is this going anywhere or is the conflict of interest thing going to remain an issue.

Any advice, any feelings on this. Oh, and I am 38 and he just turned 33.

Thanks and sorry for so long. Had a lot to say!!

 
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Old 05-16-2010, 08:30 PM   #2
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Re: Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

WOW! That was a long one! Ok, first of all, he's being nice.....a good cop.....nothing more. He's allready told you, in a very nice and polite manner, it cannot be anything more then a friendship. He's good to your kid, he waves and says hi to you. But notice he has never asked you out? He's never asked you to meet him somewhere when "off duty" to do something. So, in my opinion, like I just said, it's not going anywhere, he's just a really nice guy. However, on a second and more serious note, I think I would be trying to find a way to help my children out in stead of chasing after Officer Feel Good. It sounds to me like there is a LOT to deal with. I personally dont think you could possibly have any sort of stable relationship when your life is in so much chaos. And another thing.......why dont you move? You have an ex who was abusive, he shot vehicles and is really a bad guy, you have neighbors who stab themselves, high speed car chases......I mean, I have litterally never seen ONE of these scenario's in my life, and to you it's every day. I think I'd be looking to relocate, get your kids off the street and somewhere safe, and provide a more stable lifestyle for them that is not dependant on this cop coming to the rescue.

One last thing, stop chasing after him. Not good! You dont want to be that crazy girl who just shy of stalks him do you? You know the one I'm talking about.......she's allways there, running into him, and has his schedual memorized. Dont do it, you will only make a fool of yourself.

 
Old 05-16-2010, 08:41 PM   #3
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Re: Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

Thank you for your advice. But you are off on several things and since it was a long post i could not type everything.

Focus on my children... I do everyday, that is why my son was put in a 2000.00 program that I am still making payments on where he received therapy everyday for 4 hours a day for 6 weeks. He still sees a therapist twice a week, my youngest also is in therapy even though his feels he is fine. I also see one for myself personally every two weeks and then we have weekly family counseling.

Move... I did, I live in one of the wealthiest counties in Maryland with top schools, health care, etc. I did what was best for my boys by finding a home that was still close to all there friends, they were able to stay in the same schools, etc.

And yes, what I lived is something that most people dont have to deal with but it made me stronger and made me who I am today. I am able to support my boys on my own without any goverment assistance, with very little help from there dad and knowing that I am doing it all for them.

Any yes, advice is what I asked for but by no means think I am a bad mom or not looking out for my boys. I will go without something every day in order to give them what they need.

The last message I left for him was exactly that, the last one. There will be no more. I do believe he is a very nice guy but I also some how do believe that once he feels my son is not going to be affected by this that things may turn around. Yesterday he was on his way to an alarm. I was still almost a block away but he stopped and waited. One thing to just wave as you are going by but to let saying hi interfere with a call is another.

 
Old 05-16-2010, 09:21 PM   #4
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Re: Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

Yeah, I think the cop is just being nice. I don't think you should keep chasing him. He is right about the concflict of interest thing. Would you want to put him in a position where he might get in trouble or lose his job? No? Then quit trying to date him. From everything you've said, it sounds like he is not sending out signals, you're just seeing them because you want to see those signs.

It's really easy to get wrapped up in the knight in shining armor thing after having lived through an abusive marriage with a monster like your ex? Any nice guy who came to your rescue during this time would have gotten your attention.

It would be best for you to quit going out of your way to find him. Quit calling him. Stop insinuating yourself in situations where you might find him or see him or run into him. Concentrate on getting your life back together and your kids back on track because that is the priority right now. You should not be looking for another relationship until you have gotten your life together and your kids healthy again anyways, whether with this cop or anyone else.

 
Old 05-17-2010, 05:17 AM   #5
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Re: Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

Kszan,

Thank you for the reply. On a good note, my troubled teen is now doing much better. This child that had numerous issues in school and had problems with fighting with other boys when put into a situation is now on the honor roll, I get contstant compliments from his teachers about his complete turn around and then the other day he mentored troubled 9th graders (he is a sophmore). I am very proud of him and how hard he has been working.

 
Old 05-17-2010, 06:39 AM   #6
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Re: Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

Ok, this is just the sense that I get from what you have said. Yes, he does find you attractive but for whatever reason he is holding back. It does seem as though he is flirting with you but he isn't willing to take it to the next step.

There could be a lot of reasons for that. It could be that he doesn't want to get involved with someone with a troubled past and troubled children. I know that I wouldn't. That is just asking for a lot of drama. It could be that it is a conflict of interest. It could be that he really does have a girlfriend that you don't know about. It could be that his buddies are razing him about getting involved with you. It could be anything really.

Just leave him alone. If he wants you, then he will come to you. He knows that you are interested and there for the taking. There is nothing else to be done about it.

 
Old 05-17-2010, 06:48 AM   #7
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Re: Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

Quote:
Originally Posted by trystme View Post
Ok, this is just the sense that I get from what you have said. Yes, he does find you attractive but for whatever reason he is holding back. It does seem as though he is flirting with you but he isn't willing to take it to the next step.

There could be a lot of reasons for that. It could be that he doesn't want to get involved with someone with a troubled past and troubled children. I know that I wouldn't. That is just asking for a lot of drama. It could be that it is a conflict of interest. It could be that he really does have a girlfriend that you don't know about. It could be that his buddies are razing him about getting involved with you. It could be anything really.

Just leave him alone. If he wants you, then he will come to you. He knows that you are interested and there for the taking. There is nothing else to be done about it.
Thanks for the advice, and not because it was something I wanted to hear but this is the impression I get also. I too understand, I come with a lot of drama and no matter what will always have the *** for the ex. He just confuses me cuz he continues to do the flirting thing and usually is the one to start. During the one converation something had come up about it taking time. I dont rememeber because usually when I get around him my head just spins

But you are right, regardless the info is out there, he knows how I feel. He knows how to find me and if the time is ever right he will. Just needed some advice from outside the box. My two closest friends that have met him with me feel like th vibes are great and there is definately interest. They are pretty much honest with me about a lot of things and even at one point told me to back off but when the one met him last week and by the way he was acting with me, she actually encouraged me to make "one more call". And I do believe he is concerned about my son, that is why he brings him up every conversation but he seemed very pleased to hear all the improvements the other day.

Thank you again and from this point on, I am going to continue with my walks because I do enjoy them but just going to expect to be running into him along the way.

 
Old 05-17-2010, 08:33 AM   #8
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Re: Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

I think he probably is interested, but something is stopping him... like a girlfriend? I suppose it could be the conflict of interest with his job, but your son is 16. Eventually, I don't see how that would be as much of an issue, it's not like he's elementary age.

Despite what others have said about concentrating on your kids instead of worrying about a relationship, I have to say I disagree in this case. You have to take care of yourself also, and I don't think you have to deny yourself a relationship just because of your kids. They are old enough to understand. You've spent the last 20 years denying your needs, maybe it's time you start enjoying life.

Did you ever find out if he was in a serious relationship with someone else? You said he was single but is he involved with someone else you think?

 
Old 05-17-2010, 08:39 AM   #9
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Re: Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

Sorry, I hadn't seen the last two posts before I replied. Sometimes I can be so blonde! Good luck.

 
Old 05-17-2010, 09:17 AM   #10
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Re: Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

I've been thinking some more about this. Why do guys do this sometimes? I've had this happen to me a couple of times when I was younger. They come sniffing around and flirt, you make it known that you like them too, but then......nothing. At the time I always assumed that it was because they were involved with someone else and lied to me about that fact. But, maybe that wasn't it, I don't know.

 
Old 05-17-2010, 09:39 AM   #11
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Re: Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

Quote:
Originally Posted by trystme View Post
I've been thinking some more about this. Why do guys do this sometimes? I've had this happen to me a couple of times when I was younger. They come sniffing around and flirt, you make it known that you like them too, but then......nothing. At the time I always assumed that it was because they were involved with someone else and lied to me about that fact. But, maybe that wasn't it, I don't know.
I think some of them do it to get their ego stroked. Then they run if they think they might have to act on it.

 
Old 05-17-2010, 11:25 AM   #12
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Re: Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

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Originally Posted by goingdaffy View Post
I think some of them do it to get their ego stroked. Then they run if they think they might have to act on it.

I actually talk to a couple of the cops around here on a regular because many of them have been called out when my son was running away. Even though we were with my husband then, same county, same area so same cops.

Anyway, one of them commented once that he could see the way I looked at him (the cop I like), this was a few days after I had asked him personally if he was single. The cop that was talking to me about him said he was single and never been married. Said he was very much into his job which is obvious. Before this he was military.

I dont know at this point. I am not chasing directly after him anymore and the message last week was the last time I am making the step. I know the ball is in his court so now he has to move on it or it is done. But there is something going on, why stop and block the street when I am coming if he was in the middle of a call just to say hi and I look good. I do believe that he is leary also because he has dealt with my ex and pretty much let it be known that he knows there are problems and he does not like him. I also wonder if he is stepping back for a while because most victims do still return to the relationship after leaving and not only has he seen this first hand but his step dad abused his mom so he has been on both ends.

I guess only time will tell. And thanks, I do put my kids first but they are at the age where they are ok with it. My youngest is almost 11 and he tells me all the time he wants me to be happy, never go back to his dad and asks me on a regular when I am going out on a date with someone. My 16 year old tries to give me advice and actually was the one who got me working out months ago. He made a joke that if i was going to chase a younger guy I better get in shape. He evens jokes with me sometimes about the cop being his and not mine. Laughter is what keeps us moving forward

 
Old 05-17-2010, 01:28 PM   #13
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Re: Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

Now that you are "out there" and may be looking for a man, here's one piece of advise. (I'm pointing this out only because you've been married a long time and things have changed. : ) )

Single, to many,only means not married. But there's a whole world of in betweens out there now. As you read here you will hear people talk about their "ex" and it turns out to be someone they dated for 3 months. To the next person, it's their husband of 20 years.

I'm not saying he's taken. But just knowing he isn't married and never has been does not mean he's available. And as you go forward and dip back into the dating pool, the next time someone says he's single, respond with "so, he's free to date?" If they have to answer that, the answer might change.

 
Old 05-17-2010, 03:15 PM   #14
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Re: Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

So true, resolution. I've heard some skanky guys say that if they're in the next county, they're single. Or, their wives are married but they're not. I'm not saying this guy is a sleaze because I do not know him at all. Just, caution.

As for this situation, he's been made very aware that you're interested. I would advise you don't put it out there anymore because you run the risk of looking desperate or stalker-ish. Let him come to you...men do like that, you know!
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Old 05-17-2010, 03:30 PM   #15
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Re: Chasing New Guy After Bad Marriage -oh he's a cop.

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So true, resolution. I've heard some skanky guys say that if they're in the next county, they're single. Or, their wives are married but they're not. I'm not saying this guy is a sleaze because I do not know him at all. Just, caution.

As for this situation, he's been made very aware that you're interested. I would advise you don't put it out there anymore because you run the risk of looking desperate or stalker-ish. Let him come to you...men do like that, you know!
So true in all area. I will say this, my start of this was very long and some things got left out. When I asked him if he was single, he looked at me, smiled, dropped his water bottle but he was trying to put his bike on the back of the car and told me yes and then added very available. So that is when I said great. Now if his fellow officer did not confirm this I would wonder at this point. I know they all have a little brotherhood thing going on but I did not ask and he offered this information when he commented about the way I look at him. So who knows. But yes, now I am done do the chasing. Just hoping to be followed real soon.

 
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