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Old 05-21-2010, 04:34 PM   #1
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MissJean HB User
I Shouldn't Judge But is He a Player?

Hey everyone! To those that have followed me from the beginning should know my situation. To recap, I was with someone for 2 years who I've should've dumped when he invited his ex gf to stay for the weekend and invited her to go to an event that he had invited me. This was 3 months into our relationship. Long story short, he broke up with me about 4 months ago (I think) for another girl. Yes I know. I find this as an experience for me to grow into a better person and that I shouldn't let the stuff he did to me go easy. I learn now that when somebody does that to you, it's right for me to break-up with that person. I was in-love and I was blinded by love. Now he broke up with that gurl after a month and now dating another gurl.

ANYWAYS, this is not what this post is about. I'm talking to this guy right now that I just met this past Sunday at a festival. He's one of my friend's good friends and that's how we met. Now, he looks like a player but I'm not sure. He knows how to dress, he works out (which means he has a nice body), spiky hair, cute smile, the whole shabang! He's Italian and quite intelligent (in some ways). He loves art and so do I. We have a lot of the same interest.

Since Sunday when my friend trying to be the match maker, he added me on Facebook the next morning. We started talking on there and he gave me his number so we can text. Ever since then, he has been texting me all day (literally). He even calls me at night, every night so far! We're planning a date but not sure when but he seems like a smooth talker. He would say that I'm so cute and that he wishes he had talked to me more at the festival (because I only talked to him for a like a minute since he got there late). He also brought up I think last night "Are we talking in any way or how do you view this whole situation? Just wanted to know" and I told him that I just see we're trying to get to know each better and he said he agrees and that he feels the same way. He does joke around with me a lot and he calls me "hun". I think he started saying that because I called him "Love" but I call everybody that haha.

So do you guys think he's a player? Trying to spit some game on me? I haven't done anything to lead him on but be myself. Sometimes I try to play hard to get but answering his text late or when he calls, I don't pick it up and wait for a little bit. But I mean, he seriously text me the minute he gets up from work and text me until he goes to bed. We would talk on the phone in between of the day. I don't know. I am confused because players know how to play. We do send each other pictures from time to time from work or school. PG rated pictures haha. Do you guys think he's a player?

BTW: I'm not trying to be in a relationship and right now, my wall is up as high as it could. Right now, I'm just focusing on me and just have fun dating around because I am ready for that. I asked him if he's looking for a relationship or a fling and he said definitely not a fling but he does want a relationship. He said that he's not trying to find a relationship and that you can't force a relationship to happen... you just have to let it be and go with the flow. Pretty much he's leaving it up to fate to find his girl. Does that sound like a player to you?

Last edited by MissJean; 05-21-2010 at 04:42 PM. Reason: forgot to add something

 
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Old 05-21-2010, 08:06 PM   #2
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Re: I Shouldn't Judge But is He a Player?

I don't know if he's a player, but he's certainly coming on strong. I would be a bit concerned about a guy who texts you ALL day long every day. Doesn't he have a life? And more importantly, doesn't he think YOU have a life?

How does he react when you don't respond right away? Does he ever get upset or "where were you? Why didn't you call me back??" kind of thing? If he's really so hot and heavy into you, why don't you have something concrete planned for this weekend?

 
Old 05-22-2010, 06:57 AM   #3
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Re: I Shouldn't Judge But is He a Player?

From what you wrote, I can't tell if he is a player just yet. However, l agree that him texting you too much would scare me a bit. I met a guy like that once, he texted me all day for 7 days straight and he came on really strong. I had to let him go because I felt like he was stalking me. He also seemed very controlling and would snap at me if I didnt respond or if I said something he didnt agree.

So give it more time and see what happens. Just keep your guard up like your doing now!

Good Luck!
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Old 05-22-2010, 07:21 AM   #4
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Re: I Shouldn't Judge But is He a Player?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissJean View Post

BTW: I'm not trying to be in a relationship and right now, ......

....... I asked him if he's looking for a relationship or a fling and he said definitely not a fling but he does want a relationship. He said that he's not trying to find a relationship and that you can't force a relationship to happen... you just have to let it be and go with the flow. Pretty much he's leaving it up to fate to find his girl. Does that sound like a player to you?

If you are not looking for a relationship, where does the player come into the picture, or a better question, why would it matter if he is or not? I figure this is only important if you were looking for a relationship with this guy.

Keep talking to the guy or go out with him. It can't hurt if you are not looking for anything serious or..... maybe you are looking for a relationship and don't realize it.

HOOP!

 
Old 05-23-2010, 12:44 PM   #5
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MissJean HB User
Re: I Shouldn't Judge But is He a Player?

Hey guys, thank-you so much for responding! He does have a life haha but I actually like he text me all day, it shows me that he's interested. He also doesn't go crazy if I didn't text him back right away. The funny thing is, when he text me, I wait for awhile to text him back to show that I don't jump on his bones so freaking quick! And now he's doing that back to me, haha. Last night, I invited him to go bowling with my friends and they all brought their man so it was like a triple date lol. He was so sweet and genuine to my friends and their man. When we go outside, he asked me if I was cold because he has a jacket to keep me warm, blah blah. The more I hangout with him, I start to really like him. I am going to take it slow but I mean right now, I'm just like omg, does he like me? Is he talking to other girls? Like I start asking so much question and I know it's because I've been hurt so many times that my guard is up. My last relationship was really bad and the way it was handled was wow, horrible. So I don't know... but he's really sweet and my friends and their men actually approved him which they don't do often haha.

We were sitting apart at the bowling alley and he came up and sat next to me the whole night and cheer for me even when my ball was in the gutter most of the night haha. Again, I don't know. I do want to have a relationship again but I'm just waiting for the right guy to fit in my criteria as dumb as that sounds. My last relationship and before that, they didn't really fit in my criteria but I still stay in the relationship. So now, I make sure it's the right guy that I WANT ya know? I gotta make sure I am happy and they treat me right. I mean I just met the guy last Sunday and we're already kicking off to a good start but I don't know, it's kinda weird to me. The only sucky thing is that he lives an hour away from me and I know he works a lot and he also has side jobs to make extra money. *shrugs* I hope everything turns out for the best and more dates to see who this guy really is!

 
Old 05-24-2010, 09:32 AM   #6
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Re: I Shouldn't Judge But is He a Player?

It's hard to tell if he's a player honestly.

I would take things REALLY slow and just start out as friends hanging out. If he sticks by you for the long-term of taking things slowly, I don't think he's a player.

Players usually get bored if you don't move as fast as they'd like or sleep with them soon enough.
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