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Old 05-25-2010, 05:23 AM   #1
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My boyfriend is texting my cousin

Ok, me and my boyfriend live together and we are looking for our own place now, b/c we currently live at my parents house. He's 24 and I'm 23. I have a cousin who is my age, and we are close. I am close with all of my cousins and family, and we always have a lot of family get togethers. My cousin and my boyfriend know each other, and we all have hung out before. Well, he had his verizon phone account website opened up on my lap top, so I decided to just look and take a glance at his text messages. It shows the numbers that he texts, and texts that he receives. Well, I saw 4 different times that he texted my cousin first, and they talked back and forth a number of times. One was like 15 minutes, another was a half hour, then the other night at like midnight for 15 min. before he went to sleep, and yesterday morning when he woke up. I said something to my cousin about it but I was lying. I said, 'Oh so you and Justin were talking a lot the other night, were you talking about how bad I smell? I made a joke so she wouldnt think I was questioning why they were talking. Well, she went back to my boyfriend and said I was like freaking out cuz they talked. That bothered me, because I did not freak out, and it's like she went behind my back and said that about me to my boyfriend. She can be a little flirty at times, but I don't think she would do anything with him, or flirt with him using like sexual words or anything. He is the one who initiates the texts first, but she said that he texted her and was telling her how much bad luck he has playing bingo. Sometimes we all go play bingo together. But also, I've been checking his phone the past few days when he goes in the shower or something, and all of my cousin's texts are deleted! He deletes their texts, but not anyone elses. I asked him yesterday morning, " why do you text catherine alot ?" He said to me Im weird for saying that, I should trust her that nothing is going on, and he doesnt think its a big deal that they talk ... What do you guys think about it?

 
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Old 05-25-2010, 05:38 AM   #2
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Re: My boyfriend is texting my cousin

Ok, your gut's telling you something is going on. And when everybody is asked about it, there are lies.....or at least misrepresentations of how the scenario went on your cousin's behalf, and your boyfriend tells you the problem is in your head. I think you really need to trust your intuition here and stop snooping. You allready know, your just looking for physical evidnece, and it's beneath you. Is he cheating, not yet. Would he? Signs point to yes. Do you want to be with somebody like that? Only you can answer that. Good luck!

 
Old 05-25-2010, 05:50 AM   #3
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Re: My boyfriend is texting my cousin

yea well i know they text each other and hes always the initiator, i just dont know what they are saying which pisses me off.. the fact that they are talking like this bothers me, but not knowing what they are saying bothers me even more.. they talked for 2 1/2 hours straight yesterday.. its weird!! idk what to do like how to see what they are saying cuz he deletes the texts.. my cousins brother knows about it and i told him to try and get her phone and look to see if anything flirty or sexual talk is going on and he said he will try and look for me.. ill see what happens from there.

 
Old 05-25-2010, 06:24 AM   #4
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Re: My boyfriend is texting my cousin

when are you gonna get rid of this clown?
he doesn't respect you.....
let him go live with your cousin and you're done with him......
this guy doesn't complement your life, he complicates it.

 
Old 05-25-2010, 06:55 AM   #5
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Re: My boyfriend is texting my cousin

I dont understand why your putting yourself down to this level. Spying and lying.....it makes a girl look desperate. Why does it matter what they are saying? He probably isn't talking about sex or anything, not considering this is a new and recent developement between your cousin and him. But he's probably talking about things that you would like him to share with you first, for instance, how his day was, how hers was, and I'll bet its a little flirty. Point is, he shouldnt be doing it at all if it bothers you. It's not HIS cousin....so they are seriously disrespection YOUR personal limits. I wouldn't be ok with that. And then they are blaming you for it. RED FLAG! WARNING! DANGER! Get it? It's not good, and you know it. So why not just deal with it?

 
Old 05-25-2010, 07:01 AM   #6
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Re: My boyfriend is texting my cousin

OMG! I just realized your the same one who's boyfriend has a man crush on your other cousin, who doesn't save money, uses you, broke up with you for yet another girl, moved out, and who is no apparently back! Read the warning signs here! He is no good, and he's using you and getting away with it. I dont know whats worse, that he keeps doing this, or that your allowing your parents to whitness it day after day after day. I cant believe they still let him stay there. What proof do you need here? Honestly!

 
Old 05-25-2010, 08:09 AM   #7
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Re: My boyfriend is texting my cousin

When did he move back with you? I missed something here. Whatever happened to the other girl that he left you for?

Get rid of this dood already! He doesn't want you. He is using you for a place to live. He is looking for some other girl to mooch off of. Let him go!

 
Old 05-25-2010, 08:54 AM   #8
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Re: My boyfriend is texting my cousin

I'm confused, Ruby- last time you posted you were through with him. He was starting to see someone else..moving in with your cousin..you pretty much broke up?

 
Old 05-25-2010, 10:08 AM   #9
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Re: My boyfriend is texting my cousin

Yes this seems a little odd but i wouldn't get mad at your cousin though. If he is the one initiating all of the text messages then it's all on him. He shouldn't be texting her or any other girl though. You should put your family first and if you and your cousin are close then i would trust her and have faith that she is telling you the truth.

 
Old 05-25-2010, 10:21 AM   #10
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Re: My boyfriend is texting my cousin

Ok everyone.. we went on a break for a week and he wanted to try and work it out.. A week later which was a week ago, I saw in his phone that he texted that girl again saying "it was fate that we met, hopefully we can build a strong relationship, the next 3 months are gunna be hard but we will see what happens and itll take time" .. i got so upset started crying, then he started crying..balling his eyes out saying none of that meant anything, she was the one who contacted him first, and that me and him had an argument that night and he felt like flirting with her but none of that stuff meant anything and the girl didnt even write back to it.. he deleted the texts and doesnt have her number stored in there anymore.. i said to him that is not flirting, flirting is saying hey whats up sexy, not, meeting you was fate...i said it sounds like u have something planned with this girl and he said omg no no while crying, and i said well what does 3 months mean, ur gunna stay here and use me througout the summer and go be with her in september? and he said no i dont even remember what i specifically said to her, it was all just a bunch of nothing... he said i love you and am inlove with you and would never ever do that to you ...im not going to leave you for her.. we were both crying so bad he almost threw up.... he said im all he has and he doesnt wanna be a lone..but i feel like if that girl said oh come live with me, then he wouldnt care about me cuz he would have another place to go.. i didnt know wat to do..this is such a bad place for me too cuz im stuck in the middle..that nite he was like i need to know do u still love me cuz if no im out of here and of course i still love him! i will always love him, but right now he expects me to trust him and to be over everything that has happened and i am not 100% comfortable yet.. i told him that was his last straw, and if i find out he is talking to her again, his **** is out in the street and he can fend for himself where he wants to go.

 
Old 05-25-2010, 10:25 AM   #11
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Re: My boyfriend is texting my cousin

o and also, i messaged the girl and she said she barely talks to him but they were friendly, but she made it clear to him that she only wants to be friends b/c me and him are b/f and g/f.. she said she has nothing going on with him...that same night when i saw those texts, i went on his screename and IMed her, and she said whos this ? .. so she was lying.. she knows his screename cuz they talked on it, so i dont know if they have some sort of secret code or something..but then she says that to me in a facebook message saying they have nothing going on.. now its like he hopped to my cousin and is talking to her, cuz he doesnt talk to that other girl anymore..

 
Old 05-25-2010, 10:30 AM   #12
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Re: My boyfriend is texting my cousin

okay, this is a very HORRIBLE situation, and I'm sorry, but you need to get out of it FAST!, run as far as possible, kick him out and move on, this is not good for you and honestly you're letting him continue to do this to you. He's a loser and he doesn't even have a place live, he's clearly using you and now he's even having some type of close relationship with your cousin? get out fast and let him fend for himself.

goodluck!

Last edited by 00lady00; 05-25-2010 at 10:50 AM.

 
Old 05-25-2010, 10:48 AM   #13
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Re: My boyfriend is texting my cousin

Quote:
Originally Posted by rubyred716 View Post
he texted that girl again saying "it was fate that we met, hopefully we can build a strong relationship, the next 3 months are gunna be hard but we will see what happens and itll take time" ...
OK, seriously, Ruby....you can go through years of turmoil with this guy who is yanking your chain or you can cut him loose and regain your sanity. How and why on earth do you have the patience and tolerance for him and his ways?
Do you realize that when he cried himself sick in front of you it was a childish act of manipulation so that you would feel sorry for him?
Of course he says all that stuff about "she means nothing"...he wants to have you as his safety net and place to live.

He is so not worth your time...can you even imagine how life would be if you settled for him and you had kids with him? Always wondering...always suspicious...always forgiving him and taking the pain for all his wandering ways??

You know you can do better...

 
Old 05-25-2010, 10:51 AM   #14
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Re: My boyfriend is texting my cousin

not only that but seriously, he was telling this girl he basically wants everything with her and it's meant to be and his excuse is that it's because you had a fight? couples fight, relationships aren't easy, is he seriously going to use that as an excuse.

 
Old 05-25-2010, 10:56 AM   #15
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Re: My boyfriend is texting my cousin

i know and everytime i bring it up to him and say you didnt really give me any answers to what the fate thing met, what the 3 month thing meant, he said i already told you it meant nothing....y do you keep bringing it up la la la.. i made a mistake and im sorry..i shouldnt have responded back to her after she texted me.... all the stuff i said i didnt mean and it meant nothing... he is so wrong tho cuz you dont just make that up while flirting....... ughh i hate this.. my mom said that she doesnt like whats going on and she even thinks its weird that he talks to my cousin, my aunt thinks he should get his own place so we can have space... my dad said that he thinks his demeanor is off, like one day hes talkative and the next hes quiet.. so today ive been just like blah to him, and he keeps saying to me ur making me sad, i feel like you dont love me anymore...it seems like ur mad and ignoring me.. do u love me lots? its like he doesnt get it..hes a stupid boy..ur right

 
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