It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-07-2010, 11:25 AM   #1
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 9
rkysh HB User
I need someone

Everyone here has a problem or confused as such wat to do with their partner. U people r lucky that u have someone to see u, to help u, to talk to. Consider urself lucky. All r not blessed so well. I am one of those unlucky ones. I dont have a girlfriend...neither had. I loved a girl a long time ago. But it was one sided. She said no. After that all my confidence and power to approach drained. I am 20...and still single. Help me with a few tips if u can spare a little bit of time.

Last edited by rkysh; 06-07-2010 at 11:26 AM.

 
Old 06-07-2010, 11:32 AM   #2
icm icm is offline
Member
(female)
 
icm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: moultrie,G
Posts: 83
icm HB User
Re: I need someone

it sometime takes a while for people to find their on true love but dont give up i am 41 and recovering from a stroke on may 27th 2010 and im married going on three years and i found my true love late in life.....just have life

Last edited by Administrator; 06-07-2010 at 04:58 PM.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 06-07-2010, 12:12 PM   #3
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1
Skee ball HB User
Re: I need someone

I once felt like you do now. Alone and isolated. I don't know if you believe in any God but I prayed for him to give me some hope or for someone to come into my life. It happened, literally the next day. I have not felt alone since that day, it has been 10 years. Say a prayer, you will be amazed.

 
Old 06-07-2010, 12:59 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: California
Posts: 2,095
Redneon82 HB User
Re: I need someone

That's an awful heavy burden to place on someone...to expect a girl to lift you out of depression and give you the will to live.

I think you need to be mentally and emotionally healthy first, otherwise you will be placing the responsibility of your life on someone else. And that's just too huge.

Have you tried any therapy? You are only 20, that is awful young to decide that life is not worth living or that you are nothing somehow because you haven't found a love partner yet. How about some therapy?
__________________
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." - Erica Jong

Last edited by Administrator; 06-07-2010 at 04:57 PM.

 
Old 06-07-2010, 01:05 PM   #5
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 26
debell83 HB User
Re: I need someone

rkysh: While I don't know exactly what you're going through, I can appreciate being lonely and feeling like there is no end in site. My girlfriend and I of seven years broke up about 3 years ago and I was destroyed. I thought there was nothing for me as I really felt like she was "the one". I stayed at home, I didn't do anything and was so completely depressed. Over time, I started to feel a bit better but I wasn't looking for anything.

Life is a precious gift that you only get once. Please don't waste it

Keep yourself active and busy, don't allow yourself time to sit around and think to far into things. I assure you that your life will start to fall into place, but you must believe that it will. If you don't, you will continue to fall into this deep depression that you are currently in.

Keep your head up, keep on smiling and go out there and enjoy your life. Life is too short to spend depressed like you are right now.

Last edited by Administrator; 06-07-2010 at 04:57 PM.

 
Old 06-07-2010, 02:02 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Eagle River
Posts: 1,272
Blog Entries: 68
EagleRiverDee HB UserEagleRiverDee HB UserEagleRiverDee HB UserEagleRiverDee HB UserEagleRiverDee HB UserEagleRiverDee HB UserEagleRiverDee HB UserEagleRiverDee HB UserEagleRiverDee HB UserEagleRiverDee HB UserEagleRiverDee HB User
Re: I need someone

I agree with RedNeon. Another person cannot make you happy. You would be less lonely, but you cannot place the burden on another person of making you happy. Only you can make you happy. In most cases, that's a decision you make- to be happy or not. If you have a chemical imbalance in the brain then it's a physical problem and you might require medication, but again that is a decision you would have to make. The only thing other people can offer you is companionship- not happiness.

 
Old 06-07-2010, 08:52 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Kszan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,003
Kszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB User
Re: I need someone

The grass is always greener, people always want what other people have. So, people who don't have a relationship want one while people who do have relationships often are having so many problems that they don't want to be in it anymore but can't get out of it for various reasons. Being in a relationship NEVER automatically makes people happy. In fact, it adds another layer of complexity to your existance because you have to worry now about both yourself and the other person for every decision you make while you're in that relationship.

I've been in several long term relationships, unfortunately with guys who did not represent themselves truthfully and started showing their true colors only after we had been together for a while. Unfortunately that seems to be the way it goes in relationships. The only thing is, there are some things that people can live with (like maybe if the guy doesn't put the toilet seat down) and other things that are absolute and total dealbreakers (like losers who use drugs or cheat). The problem is, you never really know a person for real until they start being themselves, which can take time if they're really good at hiding it (which unfortunately most people are).

My point to you is, you're not really missing out on much. Ok sure it's nice to have a companion sometimes. But it's better to have a companion who isn't a complete tool like so many people are out there. And unfortunately, the true and geniune down to earth types are very hard to find because there are so many more idiots out there. You have to wade through a lot of losers before you find someone who is actually worth your time. So, that's why I'm saying you're not really missing out on much.

If you want a true companion who will stay completely loyal to you and will absolutely never let you down, get a dog or a cat. They are the only ones who will literally never let you down. But people, you can't trust people too much unless they prove themselves to be worthy of your trust. Even then, you'd be surprised at how many people are married for 40 plus years to someone never knowing until later that their spouse is some kind of freak or weirdo that has been doing something shady for a long time behind their back. That kind of thing happens a lot. Like I said, you're not missing much by not having anyone. You need to stop placing so much importance on something that would only complicate and add stress to your life.

 
Old 06-07-2010, 09:17 PM   #8
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 9
rkysh HB User
Re: I need someone

Thanks everyone....now i feel a bit ok. Thanks.

 
Old 06-07-2010, 10:09 PM   #9
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 9
rkysh HB User
Re: I need someone

Debel83:
exactly. I also dont feel like going out or meeting someone. I am at my house most of the time. I try to keep me busy all the time. But sometimes there is nothing to do and all these things kill me. Btw thanks :-)

Last edited by rkysh; 06-07-2010 at 10:12 PM.

 
Old 06-08-2010, 06:17 AM   #10
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,377
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: I need someone

rkysh how old are you? are you in school?
maybe pursue an education in a field that you enjoy and your life won't seem so empty?

 
Old 06-08-2010, 06:32 AM   #11
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 122
justkeeppraying HB User
Re: I need someone

I understand that you feel lonely, but you have to CHOOSE to accept the way things are and do your best to stay positive. In the future when you do finally meet a potential girl you're interested in, she could be turned off by your 'pessimistic' outlook on life. People will pick up on the vibes you're putting out.
So stay positive, stay optimistic and try to be patient. The time just hasn't arrived yet.
By the way, all my old boyfriends caused me alot more heartbreak than anything else. It's like that saying, 'Be careful what you wish for", I know it's a little cliche, but there's truth to it.

 
Old 06-08-2010, 03:59 PM   #12
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 5
a rear HB User
Re: I need someone

hey its cool just be your self i was gonna marry a girl i dated for 3 years and we ended up breaking up. yeah it will hurt when a girl says no but look at it like this keep your head up there are plenty of women out there and if they say no just keep your head up and be proud of yourself. but you have to stay confident in your self im single right now to and i have met some girls that i was like dang she is pretty cute and you know what ive been told no so many times but i realized that if she says no right off then she's not the one you want to be with. just be you just dont rush it is all ive learned that as well you will find a girl man

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Unwelcomed visitor- sorry it's a little long, but need HELP! :( 2CBK Relationship Health 36 06-09-2010 06:01 PM
I need serious advice and help - IM SEVERELY DEPRESSED Brkenhrt Relationship Health 21 04-05-2009 02:57 PM
hi...new here...really need help darrenslilangel Schizophrenia 4 02-16-2008 10:47 AM
i need someone to relate... talkshowhost Grief & Loss 9 05-19-2007 05:46 PM
Need Advice: Online Guy "Dumped" Me After This... Stef457 Relationship Health 9 04-05-2006 09:46 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:22 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!