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Old 06-08-2010, 05:59 PM   #1
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Humiliated

I have been in one serious relationship previously (lasted almost two years) which ended when I found concrete evidence declaring his love for another woman. This relationship left me jaded and cynical. I told myself it would be awhile before I could be in another relationship.

I have been with my boyfriend now for a year and a half and it has been the most wonderful time of my life. We never fight, everyone I know loves him, even my closest friends who were always extremely wary of my ex's motives. My best friend has even told me that she is jealous that I am "with such a good person" and that "I deserve it after everything."

My boyfriend has been around my circle of friends for the past 6 years and no one has had an ounce of anything bad to say about him. He has brought up marriage with me and asked me to move down south with him. I have spent just about every weekend with him for the past two years and see him during the week at least once.

Let me preface this by saying, I know that I was in the wrong for snooping around his e-mail, but I logged onto my computer to find that my his email was still logged on from when he checked it a few days ago. I found an email of him posting a casual encounter ad on craig's list looking to hang out with women who are interested in partaking in outdoor activities together. He states in this ad that he would get along with women who "like getting off in the outdoors" but that he "has a girlfriend and doesn't want anything serious." He has expressed to me that he has been single for four years, but that when I came along, he made an exception and couldn't see himself with anyone else. I also found an email of him replying to a woman about meeting up.

Now I don't know what to do next. I am completely at a loss for words, humiliated, and completely crushed. Help?

 
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Old 06-08-2010, 06:36 PM   #2
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Re: Humiliated

wow he sure pulled the wool over everyones eyes, huh?
what a schmuck! I'd be beyond livid, and hurt. You can either ask him directly about it and just tell him you found it by accident, or you could contact him thru his ad, set up a meeting and BUST him!
I wouldn't trust him again, no matter how good he's been, etc, etc, etc.....
he blew it.....just that easily.
my respect and trust and loving feelings would be gone.

 
Old 06-08-2010, 07:24 PM   #3
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Re: Humiliated

OMG that's just weird and creepy! UGH! "Has a gf so isn't looking for anything serious"? GADS! WTH writes something like that? I guess I don't get out much. So basically he's just wanting an F buddy that's into the outdoors. That's just nasty! It would be over if this was something that happened to me...I can tell you that for sure!
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Last edited by xpcandy; 06-08-2010 at 07:24 PM.

 
Old 06-08-2010, 07:35 PM   #4
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Re: Humiliated

So, the date of when he made that post was since he has been with you? If that's the case then yes, I would be concerned about what exactly is going on. But are you sure that the date when he posted it is during this timeframe? I'm just asking because it's possible it could be an old email from before he was with you. I'm just saying. If not, then I'm really not sure how you should proceed. I'm honestly at a loss about what you should do in this situation. Do you confront him or do you just keep an eye on what happens? I really don't know?

 
Old 06-08-2010, 07:50 PM   #5
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Re: Humiliated

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kszan View Post
So, the date of when he made that post was since he has been with you? If that's the case then yes, I would be concerned about what exactly is going on. But are you sure that the date when he posted it is during this timeframe? I'm just asking because it's possible it could be an old email from before he was with you. I'm just saying. If not, then I'm really not sure how you should proceed. I'm honestly at a loss about what you should do in this situation. Do you confront him or do you just keep an eye on what happens? I really don't know?
the post was two weeks ago. I am meant to be in a house alone with 76 cats.

 
Old 06-08-2010, 07:57 PM   #6
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Re: Humiliated

no I wouldn't say that.....you're saying if this doesn't work, you're meant to be alone.....why would it be your fault? you just haven't found the right guy. This guy doesn't deserve you. You will find someone better.
don't give up hope

 
Old 06-08-2010, 08:10 PM   #7
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Re: Humiliated

I agree with Rose. Just because one guy turned out to be a shmuck doesn't mean they will all be that way.

It's really upsetting, I know. My last long term boyfriend was just like yours with my friends and family just absolutely crazy about him, he was awesome - or so we thought. He broke up with me shortly after I bought my first house due to jealousy (he makes less than half of what I do and still lived with mommy) and I came to find out a month after the breakup that he had been cheating with a mutual friend of ours for at least 2-3 months behind my back. When I found out, I was in total shock because I never would have expected that from him! Even people who heard about what happened later were like, Really? They have all said they expected HER to be like that because she's a vile person but he had everyone fooled. They got married like 6 months later, but they deserve each other.

Anyway, so my point is that I know how you feel when you get totally blindsided by something that you totally didn't expect from a person. It's a difficult thing to understand but all you really need to know is that he is a shmuck and you probably shouldn't stay with him at this point.

 
Old 06-09-2010, 02:24 PM   #8
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Re: Humiliated

Thanks for your replies. I am probably going to set up a meeting through his ad and punch him in the face. I don't know how I kept it together at work today.

He has called me many times today, and I don't even have the courage to pick up the phone.

I don't understand how loyalty is such a difficult concept for humans. I thought I had it so good with him. We have had many heart to hearts where we have both genuinely expressed our distaste for people who cheat. I guess it hasn't hit me completely. I don't have the heart to tell anyone I know because I am so humiliated.

Last edited by BoSoxEA; 06-09-2010 at 02:27 PM.

 
Old 06-10-2010, 03:18 PM   #9
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Re: Humiliated

what would you do if he set up the ad without intending to meet anyone?

 
Old 06-10-2010, 03:23 PM   #10
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Re: Humiliated

Quote:
Originally Posted by BoSoxEA View Post
what would you do if he set up the ad without intending to meet anyone?

Is this what he's telling you? Because I hope you're not buying it. He set up an ad wanting to meet women for "outdoor fun" but he didn't really intend to meet any women? This does not make any sense at all.
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Old 06-11-2010, 06:30 AM   #11
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Re: Humiliated

Quote:
Originally Posted by BoSoxEA View Post
what would you do if he set up the ad without intending to meet anyone?

haha well then it would be ok....just a joke, just a little diversion for fun.....

NOT!

are you kidding me? get rid of this clown!

 
Old 06-11-2010, 08:14 AM   #12
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Re: Humiliated

Quote:
Originally Posted by BoSoxEA View Post
what would you do if he set up the ad without intending to meet anyone?
He absolutely intended on meeting someone. It could not be more clear! If he tries to feed you a line saying he wasn't, he is 100 percent full of it.
Don't buy it!!

 
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